Lesbian L and D nurse

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Hi all, ,

I am interested in becoming an L and D nurse. Have patients or hospitals had a problem with lesbians working in this specialty?

Thanks in advance

Specializes in Critical Care.
Speaking as a fellow part of the LGBT community..... I think it's important to not ever even think about your orientation and your choice of profession or specialty in that profession. That is part of the problem right there. You already see yourself as different from any heterosexual nurse. The fact that you even questioned this possibility is evidence of this. As another poster pointed out.....do you ever hear a female heterosexual nurse asking....Does anyone think it would be a problem for me to be straight and want to work in urology? Or a male straight nurse say...would it be difficult for a straight male nurse to work in women's health?.. Or heck any medical hands on nursing!

Sexual orientation and care for any patient population are not at all related.

Sounds like you are thinking-- will people think because I am attracted to women will they think I would be turned on by working in L&D and seeing women naked?!?!? Thats CRAZY! lol Would a straight female nurse think--geeze this male patient needs bathing or peri-skin care or catheter insertion or care--hope people don't think I would be turned on by seeing this man naked!

As nurses--female, male, straight or gay----part of the the job is being professional and we are privi to be a part of their care in the most intimate way when people are their at their most vulnerable. The fact is nurses do what they do because they are compassionate about wanting to care for these people during these times and love to know they are helping people to get well....or die with dignity. Nurses are not thinking about that kind of thing when they are providing care-- I worked in L&D my first job out of nursing school-- what you are thinking about is keeping the patient calm, making her feel safe and as comfortable as possible, keeping her and her baby safe, no matter what that takes. There is a bond with the L&D nurse and a laboring mom that is very unique-- a bond of trust. Your sexuality is not relavenat in the work place and I think you will see that.........you may even deliver the baby of a lesbian couple now and then.... they are a couple just like any other couple. Just like you are a nurse like any other nurse.

Try to think about the way you are thinking about this and approaching this....I think you will see what I mean. It's only an issue if you choose to make it one.

Good luck to you and I hope you love L&D nursing.

Very well said!!!

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Everybody, Thank you so much for responding seriously and at length to my inquiry. This has been a fear of mine that had me trying to find another specialty. Mr. Andolini's response as I read it, keyed into my original anxiety -- I don't care one way or another if patients know that I'm gay but I would feel very uncomfortable and scared working in an area where I would need to hide which is what I am hearing (perhaps mistakenly so) Mr. Andolini say here. Truthfully in my life, I am feminine in a way that the only way people think I'm gay is because I don't ever go out with guys or I tell them who I date. I think most of the responses to the post are helping me to understand that overall it should be a non-issue. I don't know why I didn't think about the general acceptance of straight male OBGYNs but I guess I thought couples still may think of straight men as the normative and be a little freaked by a lesbian. Anyway, I am an excellent student and since I know I'll be passionate about helping to bring babies into the world and educate their mothers on how to care for them, I'll know my stuff and do my job well. Thank you all so much for your feedback. Since reading your responses, I have gone from resenting my plans to get a BSN to feeling overjoyed about the pre-req classes I'll be in this summer. You've really helped my out look on the future.

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We have two lesbian nurses on our unit and no one could care less. One is way more obvious that the other and if patient's are thinking it, they don't care. (What I mean by obvious is hairstyle, dress, etc.). She's never, ever been unprofessional in any way. No one on our unit ever feels uncomfortable around her. The patient's love her! I feel that it should not make any differance whatsoever. Your nursing skills and passion is what counts! Go for it!

It might be that they do not make known how they feel. I am not saying they do feel uncomfortable, just saying that we really don't know how someone else feels unless they tell us. Even then, we can't totally be certain.

Strictly an exercise in precision here. I never cease to be amazed at how imprecise people can be. For example, how often do we conclude that someone is guilty in a court case without hearing the evidence? We base it solely on a short news article. This is wrong. We would absolutely not want our own guilt or innocence based on a news report.

It's like today's spelling - definite, collectible, and other frequently misspelled words - people putting in a's where they do not belong, or today's grammar, people saying "should have went" instead of "should have gone", or "Me and her did this or that" instead of "She and I did it".

I am just sickened by these things, I feel like an endangered species, the species that was taught proper spelling and grammar. It is very scary, probably very intentional on the part of teachers, whose own teachers did not know or teach them correctly because their teachers failed them as well. :twocents:

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Specializes in L&D, PP, Nursery.
It might be that they do not make known how they feel. I am not saying they do feel uncomfortable, just saying that we really don't know how someone else feels unless they tell us. Even then, we can't totally be certain.

Strictly an exercise in precision here. I never cease to be amazed at how imprecise people can be. For example, how often do we conclude that someone is guilty in a court case without hearing the evidence? We base it solely on a short news article. This is wrong. We would absolutely not want our own guilt or innocence based on a news report.

It's like today's spelling - definite, collectible, and other frequently misspelled words - people putting in a's where they do not belong, or today's grammar, people saying "should have went" instead of "should have gone", or "Me and her did this or that" instead of "She and I did it".

I am just sickened by these things, I feel like an endangered species, the species that was taught proper spelling and grammar. It is very scary, probably very intentional on the part of teachers, whose own teachers did not know or teach them correctly because their teachers failed them as well. :twocents:

How ironic that you are making judgement on me for my spelling/grammar in this particular post. I posted it after a very long shift and was very tired. I was surprised at the grammatical errors I made also. I type very quickly and don't always edit my posts firsts. That aside, this forum is for nurses, not English teachers. I don't see why you are picking on the spelling and grammatical errors instead of sticking to the purpose of the forum!

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Specializes in Specializes in L/D, newborn, GYN, LTC, Dialysis.

I have worked with nurses who are gay and straight and frankly patients never picked up on it. Sexuality need not be a part of being a nurse as said before me. As long as YOU are comfortable with your sexuality and roles in life as well as nursing, it should never be an issue for you.

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Specializes in mother/baby.

Audrey,

I'm so glad you're feeling better, and I encourage you to stick with OB nursing, if that is where your heart lies.

I'm a lesbian who recently graduated, and am working on a postpartum floor. I have had no problems. I was worried at first as well. Like you, most people assume I'm straight. I wear a ring, and therefore they also assume I have a husband. I've never had a patient ask me about it. I've had coworkers say, Oh..what does your husband do? or How long have you guys been married? I just say "I don't have a husband (or, I'm not married). My partner and I have been together for 11 years." Some people immediately get it, and say "oh......well, where does she work?" One girl said "wait.......a FEMALE PARTNER?!?" and I said, yes. And she stared at me for a few seconds and then said Oh. :chuckle But that was the end of it, and she's always cordial to me, so whatever.

I think coming out at work can be difficult almost anywhere you work. People will say "well, we don't sit around talking about our sex lives, so it doesn't matter", but people do sit around talking about their families and their home life. And when your family is different, that becomes obvious. I probably talk less about my family and my personal life because of that. But right now, I'm ok with that. I have some people that I talk very openly with, other people I just sort of skirt the issue with. But I think one of the good things about nurses is that we are trained to keep our opinions to ourselves, at least when it comes to patient's choices and lives. And, especially in OB, I think we get used to dealing with patients making different choices. So, whatever anyone may think, I think they're pretty good at keeping it to themselves. And that works for me...I don't know if people talk behind my back, but to my face, they're all nice!! :D

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FemmeRN that's really important for me to hear and, which makes sense since you're living it, realistic.

I'm going to ask this question although it is off topic, is it possible to take a volunteer "job" that will enable you to maintain your skills during a time period when you can't work? -- Here's my possible scenario: I might get a non-medical fellowship that disallows working but during the time that I have the fellowship I do not want to lose my nursing knowledge or skills. Are there volunteer nursing jobs especially L and D that I could consistently do 1-3 days/week?

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Specializes in NICU, Post-partum.
Hi all, ,

I am interested in becoming an L and D nurse. Have patients or hospitals had a problem with lesbians working in this specialty?

Thanks in advance

A better question is this...why would you disclose your sexual orientation at a job interview?

You wouldn't. Straight people don't...so it shouldn't be any different for gays.

Then, if you get to working on the job, you'll have to make the call on how 'gay friendly' the staff is before you talk openly about it...and if they are not, then I wouldn't.

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Specializes in NICU, Post-partum.
From the US Equal Employment Opportunity Commission, "It is unlawful to discriminate against any employee or applicant for employment because of his/her sex in regard to hiring, termination, promotion, compensation, job training, or any other term, condition, or privilege of employment. Title VII also prohibits employment decisions based on stereotypes and assumptions about abilities, traits, or the performance of individuals on the basis of sex. Title VII prohibits both intentional discrimination and neutral job policies that disproportionately exclude individuals on the basis of sex and that are not job related".

Employers CANNOT ask/judge any of the above in a interview. Frankly, its none of their business anyways.

Unfortunately, I hate to tell you, that clip from the EEOC covers GENDER ...not sexual orientation....they are very, very different things.

Discrimination against sexual orientation is not a Federally protected class..it is very, very important that folks who are gay or bisexual know this before discussing it at work.

Some states have statues protecting against discrimination based on sexual orientation...MOST don't.

In the states that don't, some companies have a policy against...most don't.

So, if you live in a state where it's not a protected class, if you disclose you are gay, an employer can legally terminate you, even tell you, it's why he's terminating you, and you would have no legal recourse.

No, I am not agreeing with this...I am not saying it's right...but it's a cold hard fact.

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I'm glad to read that you will try for your desired job.

I am a lesbian nurse working on an acute medical ward, and have never experienced any problems with patients or colleagues. I am pretty sure that none of my patients have ever known that I am gay. It depends how I handle questions from patients, when they ask me if I am married or have children etc. I will sometimes I will simply answer 'no', other times I might say that i am engaged. I just assess each situation as it comes.

I have been open from when i started my job with my colleagues that I am gay, they have been very accepting and it's been a non-issue.

There seems to be an attitude of 'I don't mind what your sexual orientation, I don't want to know what you do in your private life'. Which to me assumes that being gay is about sex and nothing else. I agree that talking about sex lives probably isn't usually appropriate at work. Other general conversations that involves families etc it is nice to be able to talk openly with everyone else. If we are talking about what we did at the weekend for example, I will (and feel comfortable doing) say what my partner and I did.

I would like it if my workplace was as open that patients could know that I was gay without issue. If one of my co-workers said to a patient "I'm hoping to get off on time today as my husband is taking me out for a meal", I hope one day it would feel ok for me to say "I'm hoping to get off on time today as my girlfriend is taking me out for a meal"

In the UK when applying for jobs we are asked our sexual orientation, also religion, disability. The information is not passed to the manager interviewing but it is held by HR, for monitoring and equal opportunity purposes. You can of course refuse to answer the questions.

(apologise for the ramblings, not slept after night shift in attempt to convert back to days)

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Sofaraway,

I really appreciate you sharing. Are you in the UK? I think things are very different in Europe.

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Specializes in Psychiatry.
How ironic that you are making judgement on me for my spelling/grammar in this particular post. I posted it after a very long shift and was very tired. I was surprised at the grammatical errors I made also. I type very quickly and don't always edit my posts firsts. That aside, this forum is for nurses, not English teachers. I don't see why you are picking on the spelling and grammatical errors instead of sticking to the purpose of the forum!

:yeahthat:

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