Leaving Bedside

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Good morning-

I have been a bedside ICU nurse going on 19 years. I left briefly for about a year and a half to take a breather during COVID but I came back. It is not my place anymore. I feel it with every shred of my body. But I am terrified to leave the stability. I am afraid of failing but this job has caused me so much stress and anxiety the last few years especially and the toll on my mental health is too much. Any support/advice is much appreciated. Thank you so much. 

Hello Nora, 

After working med-surg NOCs for my first 5 years I went into urgent care. It was great for the first 3 years. Maybe a high level urgent care would be good for you ? The patients were "walkie-talkies" for the most part. Majority adults. Staff fabulous. Keep up all your skills with IVs, urinary caths, IV infusions, blood draws/cultures ... but even that I just felt it needed to leave.

I am 57 going on 58 and want to leave healthcare all together. No tech skills, not willing to return to school. But if I do it will be for a non-healthcare degree. Maybe a baker.  I love working with my hands and do not want to be on a computer all day. I do not want to need a smartphone for work either.

I have struggled for the last 10 years within nursing. The environment, the state of healthcare  in the US. I feel too old and unsatisfied to keep going. I have switched jobs often, never remained more than 4 years at any position which has affected my retirement outlook. 3 different states in the US. Just no good. Currently working three 12's NOCS in addiction medicine. The only thing about it I like is the schedule because it gives me time with my grand-baby. Have been single for years. I regret sticking around so long in nursing. I have no clue what to do. When I review job openings they all sound awful to me. Home health, hospice, nursing homes. They are always looking. Tells you something. People do not remain in these jobs because they stink.

The toxic environment I think is due, in part to how unhappy many staff are and have been. There is favoritism and inconsistencies. some staff slack off on the job, resentment builds, management ineffective, more charting or busy work, less nursing.... vicious cycle.

I want to work for a big organization, get some retirement, stick to it until I am 66 then take SS. Maybe work in the hospital kitchen. I mean it.

My mental health and my physical health has been affected by working in healthcare. I want to work in something I enjoy and nursing ain't cutting it.

I wish you the very best. You are not alone.

Toni

 

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Specializes in ICU.

Hi Toni-I am right with you. I feel like now that I'm able to see the system in place being a nurse has caused a huge amount of moral distress. It continues to deteriorate and get worse. I just can't fake it anymore. I'm going back to home hospice for the time being for the schedule flexibility and I'll go from there. I'd like to teach eventually and I'm hoping for that. I'm not sure what the right answer is anymore other than I need to do what's best for me and my family and this career has definitely taken a toll. 

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Specializes in Critical Care.
tonytoni said:

Hello Nora, 

After working med-surg NOCs for my first 5 years I went into urgent care. It was great for the first 3 years. Maybe a high level urgent care would be good for you ? The patients were "walkie-talkies" for the most part. Majority adults. Staff fabulous. Keep up all your skills with IVs, urinary caths, IV infusions, blood draws/cultures ... but even that I just felt it needed to leave.

I am 57 going on 58 and want to leave healthcare all together. No tech skills, not willing to return to school. But if I do it will be for a non-healthcare degree. Maybe a baker.  I love working with my hands and do not want to be on a computer all day. I do not want to need a smartphone for work either.

I have struggled for the last 10 years within nursing. The environment, the state of healthcare  in the US. I feel too old and unsatisfied to keep going. I have switched jobs often, never remained more than 4 years at any position which has affected my retirement outlook. 3 different states in the US. Just no good. Currently working three 12's NOCS in addiction medicine. The only thing about it I like is the schedule because it gives me time with my grand-baby. Have been single for years. I regret sticking around so long in nursing. I have no clue what to do. When I review job openings they all sound awful to me. Home health, hospice, nursing homes. They are always looking. Tells you something. People do not remain in these jobs because they stink.

The toxic environment I think is due, in part to how unhappy many staff are and have been. There is favoritism and inconsistencies. some staff slack off on the job, resentment builds, management ineffective, more charting or busy work, less nursing.... vicious cycle.

I want to work for a big organization, get some retirement, stick to it until I am 66 then take SS. Maybe work in the hospital kitchen. I mean it.

My mental health and my physical health has been affected by working in healthcare. I want to work in something I enjoy and nursing ain't cutting it.

I wish you the very best. You are not alone.

Toni

 

Two thoughts either look for a nursing job at a VA hospital as they have the best benefits out there or if you are positive you want out of nursing than maybe look for a post office job as they have the same great benefits and federal health insurance that can't be beat!

Working in a hospital kitchen is probably not the answer.  They don't treat these workers any better than the nurses and many large corporations outsource dietary, housekeeping and sometimes secretarial to third party private companies that they of course have an ownership stake in!  I had two relatives that worked in food service for a hospital, and it was lousy pay, hours, disrespect and bad insurance getting worse.  Sadly, the large healthcare corporations can be the worst to work for plus they are constantly cutting their insurance and retirement benefits. Ironically my cousin quit and is now working at a cheese factory, got a nice raise, and way better health insurance.  In fact, she needs Ozempic for diabetes and only has a $25 copay and that stuff is over 1K retail cash price!   Also I spoke with a family friend the other day who retired from the post office and has federal health insurance, and she too only has a $25 copay for Ozempic.  It is the first time both have gotten their blood sugar controlled.   

So, look to the federal government for better pay and benefits that is my advice.

 

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Specializes in ICU.

Thanks so much. I don't want to leave nursing, just the politics and stress of working in a hospital. It's become unbearable for me and it's time for me to get out into a less stressful job. I took a hospice job which is so much more flexible w my kids and lifestyle. And I have some other options too if I don't like that. I just can't deal w unsafe staffing and admin BS at the bedside anymore. It's too hard to take care of your patients anymore in that environment. 

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Specializes in oncology.
brandy1017 said:

or if you are positive you want out of nursing than maybe look for a post office job as they have the same great benefits and federal health insurance that can't be beat!

The USPS is hurting and will probably hire you.  you will get a good pension if you stay a steady course at USPS 

If you don't find this appealing: I know an RN who  went to a Community College to learn baking and other courses to up her GPA.  She became the best baker in the city. 

Don't we all dream of it?  I investigated all  the offerings of my local community college and 4 yr Colleges of the courses. I  was willing to  devote to all that time to that goal and RISK the RN income.

I live in an National Historic Home. I was thinking of tours, small lunch groups....  Then reality hit...

brandy1017 said:

I am 57 going on 58 and want to leave healthcare all together. No tech skills, not willing to return to school. But if I do it will be for a non-healthcare degree. Maybe a baker. 

 

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Have you thought about trying urgent care? You won't make as much money as working in the ICU, but it's higher paying than most clinic positions. You can also work 12s if that's what you like (4s and 8s too). It's boring at times, but won't exhaust you like inpatient. Zero assigned positions are available.

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Nora Joyce said:

It is not my place anymore. I feel it with every shred of my body. But I am terrified to leave the stability.

Don't be afraid.

When you know at your core that it isn't right any more: Every minute, every day, every week and every year that you spend trying to force yourself to accept the way it is--will prove to be time wasted. Life wasted.

At your core you know what is going on isn't right and you can't or don't want to participate.

Get out of there, don't look back. Enjoy a sense of freedom you haven't experienced in awhile, and take pride in your good judgment.

??

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Specializes in Tele, ICU, Staff Development.
Nora Joyce said:

I've always done ICU. I stepped away for almost two years bc the pandemic really destroyed my love of nursing. I went back bc the ICU is that dysfunctional relationship you seem to keep going back to but I think this time around it solidified it's not my space anymore. Even in a short time being gone bedside has changed so much. All the reasons I left in the first place are still there and worse now. It's tough to keep walking into that every day. I found another job away from the bedside that has a much better work life balance for me and I'm going to get out for good. I don't need to rescue anyone anymore. That job is for someone else now. 

This reminds me of leaving a bad relationship.

 Congrats on doing what's best for you and your family

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