Leave nursing job to be stay-at-home mom?

Been there,done that, ASN, RN · Jul 3, 2012

One of my biggest regrets is working when my kids were little. They deserved a full time mother, not a stranger bringing them up.

If you can swing it financially, go for it.

Consider working a few days a month to stay current.You never know when your going to have to jump back into the (cess) pool.

Good luck with your decision.

Stephalump · Jul 3, 2012

I made the choice to start my career later in life and dedicate myself to my children first. My husband and I really struggled with the idea of limited maternity leave and putting babies in daycare, so I chose to be a stay at home mom.

I don't regret it at all. I've saved money, spent oodles of time with my kids, and tried my hand at a role I always wanted. But I gotta say...a part of me is glad that part of my life is coming to an end.

I'm not the most disciplined or routined person in the world. Endless spans of time to get things done are actually my enemy, not my friend. Having work or school outside of the home is a sort of motivator. I'm forced to get out of bed, get dressed, get out of the house, and I feel so much better when I do. When I get home, my interactions with my children are more meaningful and my time is more productive. I love my children, and I swear I'm not a lazy bum, but I simply cannot imagine being a lifelong stay at home mom. Plus, all my kids have LOVED going to preschool, so I'm not even saving that much money after a certain age.

All of that is just to say that there are so many factors in the decision to work or stay home. Sometimes it doesn't make economic sense to work, but it makes sense for someone's sanity. Some people love it and wouldn't have it any other way.

I agree that it can only be to your benefit to stay somewhat employed - I've known a couple people who struggled to find jobs after only a year's gap in employment. Gotta stay fresh!

Fedide · Jul 3, 2012

I did. After 5 years of nursing, I left when my oldest was born. I took a refresher course when my youngest entered kindergarten 7 1/2 years later, and I now work PRN. I would do it the same way again. :)

RNperdiem, RN · Jul 3, 2012

I never left nursing completely, but I cut way back when I went per diem.

For a couple of years, I worked as little as 4-8 hrs a week. Even with the small income, it was a big adjustment since our family income was nearly cut in half.

I would be hesitant to leave nursing completely. Besides the money, work provides me with adult contact, an escape for just one day a week from the routine of home, and a connection with the wider world.

I am still primarily a stay-at-home mom.

Also consider the possibility of working less hours with a per diem job especially on a night or weekend shift.

I don't pay for childcare, I just leave the kids with my husband for one day a week. My husband gets to take care of the kids and handle the house.

Not_A_Hat_Person, RN · Jul 3, 2012

Would it be possible to work weekends, or opposite shifts? That way, someone is always home with the kids. Could you work PRN? No one can predict the future. Leaving a paying job for a non-paying one can be very, very risky.

My mother was not a nurse, but she left a teaching career to be a stay-at-home Mom. She had part-time jobs here and there, but no career. When my father left, she had 3 kids, no regular income, and a spotty job history. We lost our house and almost ended up homeless. Even in our new, smaller apartment, we lost all utilities more than once.

Hubby and I are trying to start a family. I told him from the start that I'm not going to be a stay-at-home mom. I've known far too many stay-at-home Moms who became poor single moms when their husbands left. I need to make sure I can keep food on the table and a roof over my head, regardless of what happens to the marriage.

Scarlette Wings · Jul 3, 2012

i admire and support anyone who is able to stay home and raise their own children. there is no greater gift than the gift of time and presence. i would suggest if you can manage to work at least a few days a month prn some where then you won't lose your skills and will remain current in healthcare. things change so fast in medicine and by the time your little ones are grown the field of medicine will have advanced tremendously.

Good Morning, Gil · Jul 4, 2012

after taxes and 401k money pretty much goes to childcare.

i think you answered your own question. if the money truly does just go to childcare, then there's no point in working. if you just want the fulfillment of having worked, then just work one shift a week, prn, etc. that's just what i would do and am planning on doing in the future. i just wouldn't want to miss out on raising my kids, but to each his own, and if you love and provide for your kids, they will be fine. my husband's mom worked full-time by choice when he was growing up, and he said he didn't feel less loved, but to me, even though his family is wealthy (since my mom stayed home by choice), i feel like he missed out on some things that i got to do (like summer time, etc).

tokmom, BSN, RN · Jul 4, 2012

I stayed home for 5 years and don't regret one moment of it. I was burned out and needed a break. However, my husband became ill and I had to return.

The only downside was trying to get a job quickly. It's not easy out there.

Could you work per diem? I did that before quitting and it worked out really well. We had extra money and I kept my foot in the door. The birth of your special needs child required me to be home.

MomRN0913 · Jul 4, 2012

I never thought I could be a SAHM. Now I realize I could be, but it's not an option. I am a single mom and there nearly isn't enough time in the day, and I only have one!

Prior to the sh!t hitting the fan in my marriage, I went pack per diem after I had my daughter. I financially ahd to work 2 shifts a week, but you yourself could keep a status and maybe make some extra money. I worked with quite a few mom's who were very per diem. Depending on the facility, you have to give a minimum requirement, but it's usually 2 days per month which is nothing really.

Another option I see is nice is working in HH per diem. You dont have to give a whole shift, you can pick up visits as needed for some extra cash, and the whole day isn't gone. Just some suggestions.

On a different note, never think 401K is costing you! That is an investment in your retirement! Not saying this will happen to you, but we never know what life is going to bring us. I was divorced before 30. I know I have to sock my money away in 401K. I am responsibile for my own retirement. And one retirement fund may not be enough for 2 people. So, even if you stop working, I would perhaps transfer money into an IRA if you can and keep contributing.

OK, enough of that and best of luck on your decision.

minnymi · Jul 4, 2012

you said your pay doesn't cover much more than childcare, but you work part time. wouldn't the solution to that be to work full time in a job that you actually like.

it sounds like you want to quit the job you have for other reasons than wanting to stay home.

carrie_c · Jul 4, 2012

I wouldn't quit completely. Try prn and see how that goes.