Least Favorite Things Patients Say

[remotefuse]

What are some of your least favorite things that you hear from your pts? Of course we are all nurses to help people, but some responses from pts make for an instant eye roll. My least favorite thing is when pts ask to take their morning medications when they "wake up". I work nights, and I hear that ALL the time. This is one of the few times that I can be firm with a pt, especially if they are on something like vanco and need specific blood levels or I will usually just tell them that I can come back in 15-20 min, and if they don't want it at that time then I will "pass it to day shift" which usually means it won't get done. (Not knocking day shift. It just happens that day shift wont pass meds for a couple of hours after report and the med might be do again. So they just ask me to document against it./say they refused it.)

There are plenty of instances where the pt gets to make decisions like when they take their meds, but I'm not staying late to pass meds because a pt not wanting to wake up at 0630.

[SleeepyRN]

When I bring them their miscellany I'll chuckle and say, "I'm a better nurse than waitress."

I am SO going to use this line!

[turnforthenurse, MSN, NP]

"But I thought this was a hotel?"

I also had a patient who literally had crap exploding in their pants...so I went to get them cleaned up. The patient had a very large accident aeb feces in their boots. The family member said to me, "YOU clean those boots out because I cannot stand that smell." I was shocked by what they had said to me (and I didn't appreciate their tone of voice) and all I said was I am going to get your loved one cleaned up and said the bathroom was right across the hall. >_

[chacha82, ADN, BSN]

As you walk in the room, they simply point at their urinal, empty cup, or whatever. In my head I'm thinking yes, I'm going to get to that. Or they put out 50 cc and immediately are on the call light, telling you to empty it. Or you're about to turn out the light and they screech, "Turn that light out." Or pile up trash they could very easily dispose of themselves and shove it towards you. Or the 5th visiting child who wants ice cream. Or they start trying to undo their Y site saying "it's twisted." Or "Write yourself a sticky so you don't forget my pain meds." Um I won't, we have a computer program for that, I promise I won't forget it. Yelping to be turned, you go to do it, they yell "WAIT A MINUTE!"

[WKShadowNP, DNP, APRN]

"But I thought this was a hotel?"

I also had a patient who literally had crap exploding in their pants...so I went to get them cleaned them. The patient had a very large accident aeb feces in their boots. The family member said to me, "YOU clean those boots out because I cannot stand that smell." I was shocked by what they had said to me (and I didn't appreciate their tone of voice) and all I said was I am going to get your loved one cleaned up and said the bathroom was right across the hall. >_

The wife of one unfortunate fellow with norovirus told me she couldn't stand the smell so she sat outside of the room commentating the goings on at the station. I told her to take the bagged soiled clothing home and wash immediately or throw away. She looked at me with disdain and asked if we washed clothes. A firm absolutely not, infection control , blah blah shut her up.

[pookyp, LPN]

You have to stop what you're doing, walk over to their bed and lean in real close and it's usually something like, "is it raining outside?"

I'm literally cracking up. Lol

[cardiacfreak, ADN]

Look who's over on Yellow!

Every once in a while I feel the need to give my $.02.

[bloatedputti, MSN, RN]

OMG. These are all spot on! People turn into little children when we baby them. They get food, attention, control. They take it too far.Patients also have responsibilities-to cooperate, not be abusive, and follow the rules. Unfortunately, they think that being sick gives them a right to be difficult. Not cooperating with the plan of care is not ok. Taking a nurse's time for petty issues makes my blood boil.

[Farawyn]

OMG. These are all spot on! People turn into little children when we baby them. They get food, attention, control. They take it too far.Patients also have responsibilities-to cooperate, not be abusive, and follow the rules. Unfortunately, they think that being sick gives them a right to be difficult. Not cooperating with the plan of care is not ok. Taking a nurse's time for petty issues makes my blood boil.

Now, I'm not really saying that. When you are sick you are sick.

This is more poking fun, at least for me.

[Ruby Vee, BSN]

"I can't hold my johnson and use the bottle -- you'll have to help me."

"I pooped the bed. You'll have to clean me up." (Especially when accompanied by a smarmy, satisfied smirk.)

"My wife is a nurse and she's keeping an eye on you." (Wife flunked out of nursing school in 1976, has been bartending since.)

"My mother/grandmother/visitor can't go to the bathroom by herself. You'll have to help her."

[Ruby Vee, BSN]

My biggest pet peeve is when patients tell you to do something as opposed to asking. I get that they are in a vulnerable position and we are there to help them, blahblah but this is basic manners. You do not say, "Get me more water." or "Give me my pain medicine.", you say (ideally) "Could I have some water, please?" (

If a patient isn't on their death bed and says something like this, I will say something like "Please ask me for what you want instead of demanding it." Ganey scores be damned.

I agree. And if they do it more than twice, I'll say "I'm sure there was a "please" in there somewhere." And then look at them expectantly until they grudgingly add the please. And then forever after, when they order me to get something, I just stand there and look at them until they rephrase it as a request.

[Ruby Vee, BSN]

I love the one --- "Well, I pay your salary!!!".

Uh, can I have a raise?

Or my other fave -- "I'll have your JOB." Good luck, sister. If you think you can do my job, have at it. By the way, there's a Code Brown next door, you can start there.

[Farawyn]

Or my other fave -- "I'll have your JOB." Good luck, sister. If you think you can do my job, have at it. By the way, there's a Code Brown next door, you can start there.

Hahahahaha!!!