Learning disabilities

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Specializes in Med Surg, Ortho.

it's been a rough start to the new school year. my young 2nd grader has, what seems, a severe learning disablility. we have an appt next week for a psychologist, but it can't come soon enough. it's so frustrating for me and i'm sure just as bad, if not worse, for him. i usually end up getting angry and yelling at my child before our lessons are done. i know he can't help it, but i just don't understand. some of the simplest tasks such as remembering a nickel is 5 cents, a dime is 10 cents..... and counting by 5s and 10s this should be a learned skill by now and is by most 2nd graders. sometimes, he'll just throw a guess out there....like tonight i wanted an odd number between 85-88 and he said 33. i'm so sorry and love my child very much. i am seeking help, i hope we can both get the help we need.

we had issues like this last year as well, but we both worked very hard and he earned fairly good grades. the school work is much more difficult this year, so we will be having a much harder time. i also had testing done last year, by the diagnostician at the public school, and showed my child to be at the lower end of the average student. this time we'll see a doctor that can put a definitive diagnoses and hopefully get the help we need.

is there anybody else out there that has been through this? please offer me some words of encouragement. it's awful. it was a bad night and i got upset, needless to say, my child and i were both crying!

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Specializes in Neuro ICU and Med Surg.

I have nothing to offer you advice wise but, :icon_hug:. I think the psychologist will figure out the problem and give you some suggestions. Is there a special education teacher you could talk to at his school to maybe get some ideas on how to help him once you have a diagnosis. I know you and your son are incrediably frustrated. Having a diagnosis will also help so you know better how to work with him. Good luck to you.

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Specializes in Med Surg, Ortho.

thanks for the response. i've been waiting up tonight looking for some words of encouragement. we go to a private school so there is not much assistance in special education. however, last year they provided a little extra tutoring with reading.

i can't wait for the physician visit. i've heard he will provide recommendations. i just hope i haven't scarred my precious little angel by getting so upset. i've gotten upset on many occassions but tonite was worse as we both cried. i must get a handle on this before i do scar my child. it is very very hard and extremely frustrating. he is bringing home papers with over 3/4s of the answers being wrong. would it be better to just overlook these papers and just let it be? i don't know what to do!

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Specializes in PCU.

Words of encouragement and advice from a former middle-school (public) special education teacher: I know it's hard to realize that your son is going to need significant help, but with but help the situation will improve. If your child is learning disabled, he is going to need a cheerleader at home as he struggles to learn in the school environment. You will be his biggest fan! Educate yourself about his particular learning disability and become his advocate.

As soon as you have your diagnosis, please look into special ed funding through IDEA (Individuals with Disabilities Education Act). It is possible that your son may be able to receive services under this law, even though he attends private school.

Above all, don't give up! Students who did the best in my classes were from homes where the parent was involved in the child's education. You are already a good role model. You care about completing homework and understanding answers to questions, and you take the time to work with your boy. There are many children who are not so fortunate.

Obviously I don't know the entire situation, but I don't think that being upset in this instance has scarred your son. If he is doing his best that's all you can ask. Until you both understand how to work with his disability he may have significant difficulty with homework. Is there someone else who can work with him on homework from time to time so that you don't get so frustrated? And what has the teacher said? If I had a student with 3/4 answers wrong consistently, I'd be calling the parent for a conference. I'd also be recommending testing.

And above all, please remember that no matter what anyone (including teacher or doctor) says, you are the expert on your son. If you think your son needs help, then he does. Go mom! :yeah:

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For now, look over the papers until he gets professional help because it could be very damaging to his self esteem.

Please know that there are a ton of other things that it could be. A neighbor of mine was in the 4th grade before they realized the poor kid couldn't see well. Your child could have a hearing problem...there are many different types of hearing problems. It could be dyslexia. It could even be attention getting behavior, it could be ADHD, it could be ALOT of things that are easily fixable.

If he got good grades last year and not this year, then I would wager nothing is wrong with your son's mind. A good psychologist and very thorough testing will narrow down the problem and pinpoint where to start working.

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Specializes in tele, oncology.

((((HUGS))))

I have been there, I know how you feel.

My stepson has LD issues, and I swear I thought I was going to pull out all of my hair and cause him to need therapy by the time he was in second grade. We would literally spend four hours a night doing homework from kindergarden to about the middle of fourth grade. Now he is in a different school, in fifth grade, and doing age appropriate work adequately. Still not doing as well as we would like to see, but I'd rather have him doing somewhat poorly (C's and B's) on grade level than doing really well (mostly A's) on stuff that's two grades lower.

It helped him to go over what he had gotten wrong. It was incredibly difficult for me b/c I knew that he had a grasp of what we were doing at home, but consistently did poorly on his tests. Often, my husband and I would have to tag out and take turns helping him. I too know the frustration of them just saying whatever just to throw an answer out there.

It is sad b/c he feels like he's stupid...it breaks my heart to hear him say that, and it doesn't help that his brother (who is two years younger) is doing work that is above my stepson's level. I try to point out to each of the kids what they do best...yes, stepson isn't as good at academics as son is, but he's WAY better at sports.

Sorry I got a little rambly there, still haven't gone to sleep after work yet.

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Specializes in Med Surg, Ortho.
((((HUGS))))

I have been there, I know how you feel.

My stepson has LD issues, and I swear I thought I was going to pull out all of my hair and cause him to need therapy by the time he was in second grade. We would literally spend four hours a night doing homework from kindergarden to about the middle of fourth grade. Now he is in a different school, in fifth grade, and doing age appropriate work adequately. Still not doing as well as we would like to see, but I'd rather have him doing somewhat poorly (C's and B's) on grade level than doing really well (mostly A's) on stuff that's two grades lower.

It helped him to go over what he had gotten wrong. It was incredibly difficult for me b/c I knew that he had a grasp of what we were doing at home, but consistently did poorly on his tests. Often, my husband and I would have to tag out and take turns helping him. I too know the frustration of them just saying whatever just to throw an answer out there.

It is sad b/c he feels like he's stupid...it breaks my heart to hear him say that, and it doesn't help that his brother (who is two years younger) is doing work that is above my stepson's level. I try to point out to each of the kids what they do best...yes, stepson isn't as good at academics as son is, but he's WAY better at sports.

Sorry I got a little rambly there, still haven't gone to sleep after work yet.

Thank you. It feels good to know that I'm not alone. Thank you so much. :loveya:

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Specializes in Med Surg, Ortho.
For now, look over the papers until he gets professional help because it could be very damaging to his self esteem.

Please know that there are a ton of other things that it could be. A neighbor of mine was in the 4th grade before they realized the poor kid couldn't see well. Your child could have a hearing problem...there are many different types of hearing problems. It could be dyslexia. It could even be attention getting behavior, it could be ADHD, it could be ALOT of things that are easily fixable.

If he got good grades last year and not this year, then I would wager nothing is wrong with your son's mind. A good psychologist and very thorough testing will narrow down the problem and pinpoint where to start working.

I'll tell you the reason he got good grades last year. I didn't go into detail in my original post. When I saw him struggling so much at the beginning of the year, I bought the curriculum they use at the private school. I went over each day's lesson the night before so that when he got to school, he knew how to do it. I thought that would help the self esteem issues of not just having to sit there and guess.

I worked very diligently with him. I think it is some form of ADD. And it's probably going to hurt when I try to show the doctor previous school papers because the teacher is sending them home, letting us correct them and will give us a grade of 70. I'm going over the curriculum again this year, but I can't figure out what page the teacher is on. The teacher doesn't like me and the prinicipal has told me to stay away from her because I asked her to have my son put dates on his work, that his last years teacher did that and it has me spoiled.

Well, my prinicipal said this hurt the teacher's feelings and not to go around her. The prinicipal has also called me "obsessed" and has also asked me if drugs were used during pregnancy. THE GALL Of that woman !!! I'm so hurt by her comments! Yet she sends home a parent school year manual that says the parents should be involved with their child. So I get involved, I get obsessed:crying2:.

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Specializes in tele, oncology.

I'm assuming that since it's private school you're paying for the privledge of being told to sit by and watch your child struggle, emotionally and academically? I'm totally amazed by the complete lack of compassion and professionalism shown. They'd be calling the cops on me if it was my kid...kudos for you to not going up there and verbally assaulting the staff like I would, you obviously have more self control than me!

I'd be so tempted to call the school board or whatever on this one. Is it possible to get him transferred to a different class or school? I'm not sure how this would work, since I don't know what kind of "district" you're in. My stepkids just started at a new school this year, left public school (where I'm sure they were out to get stepson...he was labeled as a troublemaker in kindergarden and no matter how much he tried or as many good days as he had, it was held against him) and are now at a very small parochial school. Tuition there is free as long as they attend chuch two Sundays per month, otherwise we'd never be able to afford it, even between two families.

I remembered after I posted earlier that my stepson was seeing a private tutor...is it possible to post at local colleges for help, if you can't afford a place like Sylvan or Huntington? (Lord knows we couldn't!) That would also help take some of the load off of you.

I keep getting frustrated with the "new math" with the kids. I got up to Calc II in college, seems like I should be able to do elementary school math without needing the stupid book and twenty minutes to figure it out. I'm so glad I decided to go into nursing instead of teaching, my original major!

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Specializes in PCU.

Well now we know what is wrong in the classroom -- the principal has set the tone and is not willing to accommodate your son's learning style. This means the teacher doesn't have to do it either. It sounds like they are blaming you for the way your son learns. I can't imagine a problem with dating work! I agree with mama d that a different class -- actually a different teacher -- might help. If you can't find a college student, how about an advanced high school student to work with your son after school?

mama d, I finally taught my kids the "old" way of doing basic math. My daughter told me that it was a lot easier for her, especially when she got into algebra.

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hello, I can some what relate to you and understand what you are going through. My daughter is hearing impaired, however she can speak and loves to talk. But it is hard for others to understand her, so she was taught to use sign and speak. As a mother living in a speaking world i wanted my daughter to use her voice more so than sign, but i had to get the school system to understand my views. In the beginning it was really hard because her teachers told me that all her test scores were low and that she would probably need to be held back in kindergarden and all kind of negative things. My initial reaction was depression then I decided that i was going to do everything i could to make sure that even if my daughter was going to be held back she would know all of her material.

So I bought age appropriate books for her grade level, told her teacher i wanted homework every night, i gave her an agenda book so she could write down her behavior and what she was learning in school daily. I would work with her for an hour and a half at night going over what the teacher taught throughout the week. And what she wasn't getting I would continue to drill it in to her some kind of way every day, whether through playing, television or outdoor events. It is very frustrating, tiring and time consuming, but it is my role and duty to make sure that she understands her work. Teachers can only enforce so much and many children with disabilities will get looked over or pushed to the side unless you stay involved. Not all teachers, but some will. I felt it was my job to let the teacher know what she already knew and to give her work that i felt she could understand. My advice would be to be as involved as you can, and if you feel the teacher he has is not addressing his needs, request someone else or seek programs in your area that may work with him on his classwork.

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Don't be surprised if he doesn't have a LD. His brain may not be mature enough to learn what he is being presented. In other words not every puppy grows up at the same time. With No Child Left Behind the schools are teaching complex material at younger and younger ages. It may seem like it, but there are other children, especially boys, with the same issues at school.

Make sure he can touch and feel as well as visualize what he needs to learn. Give him coins and have him place them on paper that has the corresponding amounts--5 cents = nickel. Don't push him--you will both become frustrated and the screaming begins (been there-done that). Let him use a number line --it may be 3 ft long but it will help him visualize where the numbers are.

Tell his teacher you want modified work. Have her send home stuff that is at his level. Praise and point out when he does well--focus on that. Tell him Good work but avoid saying good work but next time do it....Just good work and leave it at that.

Don't let his school work interfere with your relationship with him. He needs to know you love him and will support him no matter his issues with school.

When school is too difficult, learning is not fun anymore, and you may lose him. If pushed/hurried too much, he may be ready to drop out of school by 3rd grade!

Limit homework to 30 mins q day for all subjects. Tell his teacher you want modified work. Write at the top of all his hmework how many mins. it took him to do it. My daughter used to spend 2-3 hrs every night on HW in 2-4th grade. I finally homeschooled her and she excelled. She learned at her own pace, her self confidence and self esteem improved and she discovered learning was fun!!! We spent 3-4 hrs a day homeschooling and she learned so much more than she did at school. She now is in 7th grade and back in public school and is doing fine.

Also, under No Child Left Behind, the public school district is required to test him for a LD, even if he is in private school. Don't be surprised if your health insurance won't pay for LD testing, and it can cost a few thousand dollars for testing.

Be careful using Sylvan or other tutors--we spent almost $8000 on tutors before 4th grade with little or no progress. Spending an additional 2-4 hrs a day on tutoring is too much schooling in one day for that age. Homeschooling is what finnally helped.

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