Learn To Say It Correctly!!

[SheriLynnRN]

Doesn't it just drive you insane when someone tells you that Mr. Smith's O2 STAT is 96%?

It's O2 SAT people! Sat, short for saturation. I even hear respiratory therapists saying this. I am sooooo tempted to say something next time, but I know it's just petty, so I needed to vent here. Thank you.

[adoyo]

I have particularly enjoyed reading the part that says 'the pain started on the toes downwards!!' . Sometimes I think that without such humour at work, it could be very boring!! Could that be what we call professional? A nurse I worked with at an Orthopaedic Ward used to write her Progress notes starting like this, ' Mr. X complains of painful and ordered analgesic given. No matter how many times we tried to correct her to make her report complete and say , 'painful leg' or painful whatever part of the body was affected, the more she got mixed up!! Some of these things we just have to live with.

[Baloney Amputation, BSN, LPN, RN]

This list floats around the medical transcription world as transcription or dictation bloopers. Don't forget baloney amputation.

guys this is hillarious!

Nursing Notes

CARDIAC

*patient has chest pains if she lies on her left side for over a year.

*by the time she was admitted to the hospital, her rapid heart had stopped and she was feeling much better.

MUSCULOKELETAL

*on the second day, the knee was better, and on the third day, it had completeley disappeared.

*while in the emergency department, she was examined, X-rated and sent home.

NEUROLOGIC

*patient was alert and unresponsive.

*healthy appearing, decrepit 69-year-old female, mentally alert, but forgetful.

*she is numb from her toes down.

GASTROINTESTINAL

*rectal examination revealed a normal-size thyroid.

*the patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.

*she stated that she had been constipated for most of her life until 1989, when she got a divorce.

*bleeding started in the rectal area and continued all the way to Los Angeles

*the patient was to have a bowel resection. However, he took a job as a stockbroker instead.

*fleet enema given with stool hard as pine knots.

*patient complains of indigestion since last night when he ate a stake.

*patient passed flatus... two short, one long.

*patient was seen in consultation by the physician who felt we should sit tight on the abdomen and I agreed.

GYNECOLOGIC/UROLOGIC

*examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus-sized.

*indwelling urinary catheter draining clear yellow roses.

*examination of genitalia was completely negative except for the right foot.

*pelvic examination to be done later on the floor.

*indwelling catheter draining large amount of urine the color of American beer.

*MD at bedside attempting to urinate. Unsuccessful. (The physician was actually attempting to intubate).

SOCIAL HISTORY

*the patient lives at home with his mother, father and pet turtle, who is presently enrolled in day care three times a week.

*patient was in his usual state of good health until his airplane ran out of gas and crashed.

*examination reveals a well-developed male lying in bed with his family in no distress.

MISCELLANEOUS

*the skin was moist and dry.

*both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accomodation.

*the baby was delivered; the cord clamped and cut and handed to the pediatrician, who breathed and cried immediately.

*skin: somewhat pale, but present.

*i saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.

*because she can't get pregnant with her husband. I thought you'd like to work her up.

*the test indicated abnormal lover function.

*if he squeezes the back of his neck for 4 or 5 years, it comes and goes.

*discharge status: alive, but without permission.

(by JAN BLACK, RN, OCN)

[P_RN, ADN, RN]

My sister's husband has a large patchoulitary tumor. I never noticed his fragrance, but the brain surgeon "told" her that so it is absolutely so. And somehow she believes it is hanging down in his throat sort of like a fragrant uvula maybe?

[leslie :-D]

My sister's husband has a large patchoulitary tumor. I never noticed his fragrance, but the brain surgeon "told" her that so it is absolutely so. And somehow she believes it is hanging down in his throat sort of like a fragrant uvula maybe?

tell her it's a dangling PIT...

for PITuitary.

maybe she'll remember it that way.

leslie

[LVN-RNhopeful]

I had a nursing instructor who said "Miocardial Infraction" the entire semester! I wanted to pull my hair out every time she said "infraction"!

[ECatSchClea]

I don't know if anyone's posted this one, but how about Oxy-cotton instead of OxyContin?

Forgot how addictive those natural fabrics were.

[srjones]

I love this thread. I have a pet peeve from when I worked for a vet. People who say spayded instead of spayed. I had an instructor in nursing school who had the gerds and taught us about frail chest instead of GERD and flail chest. What a moron.:smackingf

[MedSurgeMess]

I haven't heard anyone say "stat" instead of "sat" but...

My personal pet peeves:

"phernegan" or some other twisted form of "phenergan"

"Nucular" to which I respond "How do you spell that?". It's "nuclear" people!

"Scrip"...as in, "Lucky1RN, what do you think of this patient's rhythm scrip?" Uh...what's a scrip? Do you mean "strip"?

"Sontimeter"...as in "the patient's wound is 2 sontimeters wide". It's "centimeter". Do you say a gumball costs 1 sont? Nooooo.

Yeah, I'm a bit picky about language! I could go on and on. Expresso instead of espresso. Orientated instead of oriented. Prostrate instead of prostate. Ok...I'll shut up now.

Prostrate always gets me---where is that located exactly? We always have nauseated people that want their phenegren--uhhh, we don't carry that med here

sontimeter--I've always wondered where that pronunciation came from....does anyone know?

[Baloney Amputation, BSN, LPN, RN]

Considering prostrate is a word, I guess I see where people might get confused...maybe. However, the people who refer to a prostate as a prostrate probably don't use the word prostrate in everyday English anyway in its correct meaning.

[kerric511]

Anywho, I love this post. A few I didn't see mentioned:

Valen-TIMES: No its Valentines! even though its only ONE day, there is not TIME in it.

Ambalance: No, its AmbUlance.

Li-BERRY: Again, NO! Its Library, y'know full of books as opposed to berries?

Oxy-Cotton: CONTIN! OxyconTIN, Aspirin has Cotton in it!

I totally hear you guys on the Sontimeter ... That one drives me nuts!

[srjones]

How about lets play a game of chest instead of chess!

[PostOpPrincess, BSN, RN]

That's a very interesting thing to get annoyed by....I've never really noticed....honestly...