Late for Practicum

[Guest 441704]

Unfortunately, I was late to clinical with my nurse practitioner preceptor by thirty minutes. I forgot to call. The reason I was late was due to a family death. I know it was unprofessional. How do you recover from this faux pas? She told me if I was late again, I would need to find a new preceptor. I understand why she did this. I am asking how to recover and prove to my preceptor that I am a professional, hardworking individual who made an honest mistake. 

[JKL33]

4 minutes ago, Zyprexa_Ho said:

Not necessarily. We know they were 30 minutes late, but we don't know when the death happened. If the death happened 5 hours before the start of practicum then they could have notified their preceptor 3+ hours in advance. 

Obviously. Maybe the loved one died the week before, too, and the OP is a complete scammer who tried to use that as an excuse for being late for clinical one day. Maybe. But that type of behavior tends to declare itself clearly over time and doesn't require judgment when someone is there, on a single occasion, saying "sorry I'm late...my [loved on] just died."

The discussion thus far has not had any disclaimers from people who would feel differently if the loved one keeled over while the OP was walking out the door (on time) though, so it seems that some people's beliefs wouldn't change based on the circumstances no matter what they were.

[londonflo]

3 hours ago, JKL33 said:

The discussion thus far has not had any disclaimers from people who would feel differently if the loved one keeled over while the OP was walking out the door (on time)

Information such as in your quote would have of course changed the outcome of the situation and of course, the OP would be more than 30 minutes late, not arriving at all. 

5 hours ago, JKL33 said:

The question is whether it's the first thought that comes to mind when a family member has died.

We do not know when the family member died and if they died right before the OP was getting in the car, of course a delayed response would be called for.

23 hours ago, JKL33 said:

There is nothing unprofessional about being late related to a family death. It might be argued that you could have called when you were on your way, but even that is sometimes just asking a lot from people during very difficult circumstances.

Calling would have been the professional action. No argument there and it is not asking a lot. Unable to make a phone call? Too striken with grief but gets behind the wheel of a car?

3 hours ago, JKL33 said:

The OP left for the rotation site 30 minutes later than they otherwise would have.

Indeed time for a call was possible

3 hours ago, JKL33 said:

A student being 30 minutes late after a death seems different to me than a professional calling a workplace that they are fully a part of, in a role where they are providing direction to others on a daily basis and helping run the show.

Commitments are commitments -- 

5 hours ago, JKL33 said:

Dangling?? If she's a professional then she didn't miss a beat and was already in her first patient room. And can *perfectly well* go on with her day whether the OP shows up or not. That's the situation, those are the FACTS. You're being really dramatic here.

When a student signs on for an educational experience that I agreed upon, I want to give them the whole experience. I would have waited for them until it would  impact my schedule and impact others.  Respect works both ways. I see no respect from the student. What I read is all about their stress and worry.

23 hours ago, Ginlee said:

I did tell her why I was late was due to a family death. Not calling, no matter what, even if I had been in a wreck is unprofessional and will get me kicked out of my program and out of practicum. I know I made a mistake, and now I have to worry that I will get booted from my program and practicum setting. It causes me to be very stressed.

Who said anything about a wreck? The  drama is here.

[JKL33]

I actually think you have switched over to just being straight-up disrespectful (of the situation) at this point. You do not appear to me to be responding from a position of any empathy whatsoever. If you don't believe this story (and I'm not saying you don't, I'm saying if, by chance, you don't), that's one thing. But if you really do believe that in times of significant stress someone is supposed to perform your preferred steps in ABC order, and if they don't that is worthy of being threatened and treated like a piece of crap, I have nothing more to say. 

[londonflo]

9 hours ago, JKL33 said:

I actually think you have switched over to just being straight-up disrespectful (of the situation) at this point.

No This is not me. I provide a great deal of empathy.

 

9 hours ago, JKL33 said:

But if you really do believe that in times of significant stress someone is supposed to perform your preferred steps in ABC order,

I did not say there was step A, step B and step C to follow. Only one action was necessary. I do wonder, if this was a death that was close and significant to her at that time, why she would think that it would be a time that fruitful learning would occur. When is anyone without a cell phone nearby or in their profession. 

 

9 hours ago, JKL33 said:

if they don't that is worthy of being threatened and treated like a piece of crap

There are consequence to actions, although we do not know if the preceptor would follow through. 

On this board and throughout our profession, we are always remarking why we are 'professionals', Professionals accept responsibilities and show courtesy to other professionals. I think this was a tough lesson to learn here but I think learning has occurred...this is serious business. People are relying on you.

[CommunityRNBSN, BSN, RN]

She was actually asking how to move forward. 
 

I think you move forward with a brief, honest apology (sounds like you already did that), and then by being extra reliable and dependable. You made a poor impression but that can be overcome. You don’t have to obsess about your one late day, just focus on being on time and prepared from here on. I bet it will blow over. 

[MentalKlarity, BSN, NP]

I read this kind of amazed that there are people that think a student needs to have "calling my clinical site" as a first though when a family member suddenly dies. 

A clinical site should not be "relying" on the student such that there is a major issue if a student is 30 minutes late for an extreme emergency. If a student I am precepting is late because a family member dies, or they were in a wreck, or their dog was severely ill and had to be rushed to the vet I wouldn't expect a call until the emergency settles down. We shouldn't expect employees in any profession to put their work before their family or health, especially for something as minor as a 30 min delay.

If even after telling the preceptor the cause of the emergency was a death they were unmoved, I'd look for a new preceptor myself.

[DowntheRiver]

I need more info:

- Have you been late before, or was this the first time?

- Have you previously clashed or had an issue with this preceptor or clinical site?

[Kooky Korky, BSN, RN]

On 2/7/2021 at 12:05 PM, londonflo said:

No it is not the first thought. But as time progresses, one thinks about 'what should I do?'. Surely the OP's time allowed for a call as cell phones are always with us, in my observations. The health care business is like any other business that depends on its participants. One of our faculty member's husband died shortly before a scheduled clinical practicum. It only took a quick phone call to me to alert me she was not coming. Plans were made for her students. Sadness for her was our reaction, but we were able to divert her thoughts from the job to her grief. Additionally we were able to give her many more days of mourning, having know to reschedule her job assignments that week and the next.

Frankly, when my mother died, my father had to call his work to sayhe needed the week off (in the days of dial phones). It did in no way inconvenience him or us. Rather it was another matter taken care off.

I know you hate the whole business side of health care. But saying everything required of a nurse is a sign of martyrdom is not the reality.

I know you will hate what I am going to say: I am retired after a full health care career making a salary that does not compare with the salary today (even figuring in inflation). I worked hard but I always had a job, worked OT to make a house payment and for extras. I turned to my husband yesterday  and said 'this is the house (paid for)  that my work in healthcare built.'. I am grateful for the opportunity to work and save $$$. I earned it and the health care system paid me. Quid pro Quo. 

What was your husband's reply?

[Kooky Korky, BSN, RN]

OP, you probably should have called off and not gone in that day.  Or, once you got there, you could have reasonably said that you just needed to not be there that day.  That would have been very understandable.

If the relationship with the preceptor seems unfixable, try to find a new preceptor and put this rather dark-sounding individual behind you.  You could just say you are having a hard time making the adjustment to the death of your family member and think it's best to sit out for a while.  And that might not be incorrect or deceptive.  Maybe you really need some time off.

Whatever your decision, I hope things go well for you.

[RN2B21, ASN, RN]

On 2/6/2021 at 8:52 PM, JKL33 said:

That is utterly ridiculous.

I'm sorry you are being taught that nurses should be treated this way. I'm sure there are problems with students and their excuses, but unless there is more to the story this is beyond the pale. Yes, call if you get a flat tire. Call if you're held up in traffic due to an accident. Call if you get lost going to the address. Not showing up and not calling is generally unprofessional, yes. But this profession's ethics aren't worth the paper they're written on if we're going to act this way and make people feel so small and worthless as to have to worry about being disparaged for only getting there as fast as possible when a family member has died instead of calling and then getting there as fast as possible.

There is way too much pathology in this profession.

Agree so much with this. As nurses we spend so much time preaching to our patients the importance of empathy but then we can’t even feel some empathy towards our own fellow nurses. It’s a shame that as nurses, we’re made to feel like the lowest humans on earth when we have a life mishap and end up late for a clinical rotation. Nurses HAVE to start cutting their fellow nurses some slack. Sure there’s always one bad apple who will take advantage of that but we can’t let our profession keep being dominated by the complete lack of understanding for one another.