Kids Say the Darndest Things

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There is a great thread in one of the general forums about interesting versions of medical terms that we hear from laypeople. Now it's your turn! What are the funniest or craziest phrases you've heard from a student?

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"My poop is squishy!"

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Oh yes...one of my favorites:

"Do you have any waterproof tampons for swim class?"

and

"Can you make my period stop for activities?"

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Specializes in Most all.

Well, hello. I am in the ne corner of Oklahoma. Yes, no electric, water or phone at my house. I was glad to have school finally so we could have water and heat. Last night we went to the fire department to shower (I am a volunteer first responder) While my husband was in the shower a call came in. The 911 dispatcher said it was a 4 year old and a 7 year old who made the call. something about their grandma fell. He could not tell anything else, but was sending us out there. I knew it had to be my school kids, they stayed on the line with 911 until we got there. Sure enough, we were met at the road by two little redheads with no coats in freezing weather. Their house had no electricity. Grandma was down, little responsive, but very little. I knew the kids right away. They are always so happy that their school nurse came to help. I worked with grandma until the paramedics got their. Then I stayed with the kids, trying to keep them calm.

So, here are the two funny parts.

1. While trying to start an IV the paramedic looked up at us and said, "would somebody please turn on the light?" Duh, we have not had electricty since Sunday.

2. To keep the 7 year old occupied, I let him play solitare on my cell phone. Well, being technically a genius, he was soon taking video and then still pictures and randomly sending them to people in my address book.. He said "send" I said "who?" he said, Your brother, and so on. I am wondering what my friends and family are thinking now.

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Specializes in Home Health,MedSurg/ICU/School Nursing.

The other day, I was discussing puberty with a female student. When I asked her if she knew what it meant for a women to have a period, she replied, "it's when a woman goes into heat and the men chase after her". Funny, maybe.... scary too. Certainly made me realize I had my work cut out for me with this lesson!

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Specializes in School Nursing.

As you know, with kids you have to talk on their level........

I hear this all of the time......"I frode up in my mouf"....or belched up some food while at lunch. Of course I have to decide if they really threw up or just belched !!:bugeyes:

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Specializes in home health, hospital, medical office.

ugh..this one about had me gagging!! here is goes..

I had a first grader come in telling me he felt like he was gonna "fro up" so I asked him if he had eaten that morning and his reply was "yep, my sister made me eat a booger at the bus stop!"

I had to get him out of my office quick after that one!!!!:icon_roll

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Specializes in ICU/Cosmetic Sx/Lasers/Education/School/.
ugh..this one about had me gagging!! here is goes..

I had a first grader come in telling me he felt like he was gonna "fro up" so I asked him if he had eaten that morning and his reply was "yep, my sister made me eat a booger at the bus stop!"

I had to get him out of my office quick after that one!!!!:icon_roll

That was a good laugh for me. I probably would have been on the floor laughing with that one.:bugeyes:

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I work as a school nurse in a school district K4 program so I have only 4-5 year olds. A little girl came into the health room after falling on the playground and skinning her knee. When she walked in I said "what happened". She replied," I hurt my leg elbow".:chuckle

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Just had a 5th grader come in from health class where she felt dizzy from "thinking about tampons."

Maybe they need to hold that class till the 6th grade, lol!

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Specializes in ER.
Just had a 5th grader come in from health class where she felt dizzy from "thinking about tampons."

Maybe they need to hold that class till the 6th grade, lol!

They made me dizzy too when I was 12.

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Specializes in Med-Surg, ICU/CCU, Home Health, School.

I love it!

I had a first grader come into my office a few years ago and very seriously ask me if I had any gasoline.

"Gasoline", I repeated. "Yes, you know some gasoline to put on my chapped lips."

"Oh, you mean Vasoline, don't you?", I replied. She nodded in agreement.

I got her Vasoline and proceeded to help her sound out the "V" sound, lol.

I recently had a middle school boy in my office with a complaint of knee pain. He informed me he had "Oswell Slider" syndrome on that knee.

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