I'm 48 and in nursing school. I quit college many years ago to raise my children and I don't regret delaying my plans for the sake of the children I brought into the world. Whether you have another child is your choice, but to have one and let someone else raise it because you're busy with school and then work seems unfair to the baby.
I know I have to think about how I could just hand over a 5 or 6 month old to
someone. I have reliable friends who are good parents who I would pay or trust.
But it seems like it's my child, I should take care of it. But the other thing is the
wait list here is so long, so I might be waiting for two years anyways... and then
the baby would be 2 by that time my son who is 4.5 now, started going to school from 9-3 and he loved it and his teachers, he was already potty trained
by then. Seriously the only reason I want another one is because I feel like one
is a diservice to him, like he is disadvantaged without having a sibling. My only
other option is to wait until I am done, or I guess.... 9 months left. My husband
says he will be helpful but I don't believe him. I'm going to try him out because
I have class this semester 4 weeknights from 6:45- 10 and weekends one or
two days , it varies. I've met alot of kids who are singles and they seem really
happy and well adjusted. I don't understand why i keep getting people saying
to me.. yeah it's so much better with a sibling... From what I see , close together they fights and far apart they fight!
I would wait for another one. Your child will not suffer great harm waiting for a brother or sister. And you are still young enough to have another one when YOU want to have it. YOU are the one who is carrying it, after all, and it sounds like you will be the one who will be primary caregiver, so I think there's nothing wrong with telling them all that it's a great idea and all, but it needs to wait until you are ready.
I've met alot of kids who are singles and they seem really
happy and well adjusted. I don't understand why i keep getting people saying
to me.. yeah it's so much better with a sibling... From what I see , close together they fights and far apart they fight!
There is nothing at all wrong with single children. Although I came from a large family, my husband was an only child. I asked him once if he regretted not having siblings. He said, "what's to regret? I got both my parents all to myself, and they loved me and spoiled me rotten".
And yes, siblings fight. You will have absolutely no guarantee that any of your children will even LIKE each other, let alone get along. We had 7 in our family, and some of us are bonded, and others just aren't.
It's your decision, and only you can decide what is best for you and your family, but IMHO, I would wait. I wouldn't have a baby if you're serious about going to nursing school. Why make things hard for yourself and your husband? You're only 28. If you go to nursing school, it'll take two more years, and maybe after you graduate and get a stable job, then you can start planning another baby. If you say you're tired at barely 9:00 p.m., I can't imagine how you would feel with a newborn and homework/studying. Just carefully think this through, and ask yourself: is your hubby REALLY going to help out if you do everything? Is there any way you can cut your hours at work? Maybe that would help. Having a baby is also expensive, as you already know. Keep that in mind too. Like I said, it's up to you, and I wish you luck in whatever you decide!
There is nothing at all wrong with single children. Although I came from a large family, my husband was an only child. I asked him once if he regretted not having siblings. He said, "what's to regret? I got both my parents all to myself, and they loved me and spoiled me rotten".
And yes, siblings fight. You will have absolutely no guarantee that any of your children will even LIKE each other, let alone get along. We had 7 in our family, and some of us are bonded, and others just aren't.
When I tell some people that same thing (about siblings not always being bosom buddies) they tell me that rarely happens. Yeah right!
I know more sisters/brothers who aren't close than who are. They love each other of course, but they aren't as tight as their parents wanted them to be I'm sure. I'm not going to pass any judgement on why people have kids, but to bring another human being into the world to be a playdate...well, to each their own. (I'm not referring to anyone in this thread, just typing out loud).
You're not sure you want this baby right now, so don't do it. I've only been in nursing school for 2 weeks. Already, 2 girls dropped out because they have small children and couldn't take the pressure. Also, the actual class schedule is only half of the time you'll be spending on the program. You have to practice, practice, practice in the nursing lab on the hundreds of skills you're required to learn. And, the reading and studying never stops. I was debating on taking a part-time job, but after just seeing the syllabus, I knew there was no way.
Your husband doesn't understand the time constraints you will be facing. Also, you will not be able to spend that precious time with your little one that all mother's crave.
Please don't procreate irresponsibly. There are too many idiots doing that already. You need to put lots more thought into this one. Nursing school is unlike ANYTHING you've ever done before. The pre-requisites are nothing compared to the actual program. Good luck!
I hear this all the time: "My husband doesn't help with the kids but I want to have more anyway." And then they whine because they're more overworked than before. :vlin:
Doesn't make sense to me, but then again, I never had any huge urge to have kids.
You have to do what is right for your family. No one call tell you what to do on this issue; however, you asked for advice so here it is. The actual time at school, in class or clinicals is easy. It's honestly not that much time spent; however, it's the time spent out of class that's a hard. There aren't enough hours in the day to finish everything that needs to be done. Something always gets left undone. I can study for 8-10 hours (a rarety) and never be done. Not only do you have to study, you have to go to your clinical site outside of class time to pick a patient for the next day's clinical.
My husband is 100% supportive. I told him before I started that if we were going to do this he didn't get to cry, complain, or b---- about anything during the semester. He cooks, he cleans, he does homework with the kids, he gives baths, he reads bedtime stories, he does laundry. I pitch in where I can. He takes the kids to school 2 days a week, I'm able to do 3 days a week. He picks them up 3 days a week, I'm able to do 2. It's a crazy, hectic schedule, but we make it work. And so far so good. As supportive as he is, I've seen the look on his face already that says "oh crap, what have we done?". :) He hasn't said anything though, which is why he's still alive. :) What I'm trying to say is that even though you plan for how things are going go, most of the time it doesn't work out that way. My hubby works nights and my youngest has already been sick and had to stay home. He had to work all night and then stay up all day to be home with her. We had an ice day last week and I got to stay home but because my kids were home too, I got nothing done. I had to stay up until after midnight and then get up at 5 a.m. for clinical. You have to expect the unexpected. We've had to plan our entire life around nursing school, but it's something we were both willing to do. It's absolutely doable, but it's a lot with a family. I purposefully waited until both kids were in school before I started NS. That was my choice, I'm not saying it's the right one. It's a sacrifice for the whole family.
I know women who have small children and are making it work. It's tough, but it can be done. I guess I would say if you don't have to, don't. I don't know how old your son is, but my kids are 3 months shy of being 4 years apart. It was a blessing for our family. They play together and are super close. The older one helps with the younger's homework. My oldest is very independent which frees me up to help the younger one. It works well.
SN4HisGlory
12 Posts
I'm 48 and in nursing school. I quit college many years ago to raise my children and I don't regret delaying my plans for the sake of the children I brought into the world. Whether you have another child is your choice, but to have one and let someone else raise it because you're busy with school and then work seems unfair to the baby.