Keeping It All Up!

RNperdiem, RN · Mar 10, 2008

Have you lived in the same place these past 15 years? Has "stuff" accumulated quietly over those years to the point of clutter? If so, it becomes impossible for a house to stay organized or seem clean. Gaining "stuff" is a bit like gaining weight- it comes on gradually over the years. One day the drawers don't close and the house looks untidy. It is easier to lose stuff than it is to lose weight however.

Motivation is hard to come by, but start area by area and get rid of stuff that does not earn it's keep.

My mom is currently going through her house and clearing out clutter. I asked her if she still needed the instruction manual to the electric knife that was dated 1967!

ebear, BSN, RN · Mar 10, 2008

Proud2b1,

There is so much required of nurses today! A lot has changed over the past 20 yrs. Patient acuity, computerized technology, clueless non-nursing management, etc. It's no wonder nurses are exhausted!!

There is also a lot required of students (and parents) in the school systems. Sometimes it's all a mom can do just to keep her sanity.

You are NOT having a "mid life crisis". I would imagine that you are a very conscientious mom and employee. It's such a juggling act. Hang in there--it's all worth the effort.

ebear

Armygirl7 · Mar 10, 2008

"any advice is welcomed,but please dont be to cruel!! i dont seem to be depressed!

...could this be the "mid life crises taking over me"?:bugeyes:"

no! you don't seem depressed you seem to be 40!!!

this stuff has worked for me and you can take it or leave it:

if you're in a relationship, raising kids, and working f/t or even p/t, you simply cannot do it all - so you have to let it be ok that some days all you can manage is a load of laundry. in fact, congrats :yeah: on gettin' that done!

if you don't already exercise then start a disciplined exercise program.

you may think you have no time or energy for this but paradoxically - the more you exercise the more energy you have. consistency is most important. a 1/2 hour walk every day around the neighborhood is a good start - just try to do it at least every other day. walk fast! get your heart pumping.

make a list of bigger projects that you'd like to get accomplished. (massive kitchen clean-up? wardrobe editing? that scary hall closet?? etc.) and pick a date on the calendar to start that job. start early in the morning. delegate any small portions of the big job that you can. follow through until job is completed. massive amounts of energy flood your way when you finish a job.

strive to do one of these jobs a year. ha! yes, a year!! don't set yourself up for failure by having crazy expectations of what you can do at this very busy time in life. the a #1 most important thing you should be doing is exercising, eating well (but yes smaller portions once you hit forty it sucks!!! :uhoh3: ) and doing that homework with the kiddies. the relationships in your life are what matter time wise - do you really think you'll look back as a granny and regret a messy house? it would be so sad to sacrfiice too much time to cleaning that could be spent walking, talking, playing with loved ones.

also, if you like the tube -- kill your television. just do it. go cold turkey. massive amounts of time, original thoughts, new brain cells, and energy show up when the tv is not on.

lastly - never ever compare your home/standards/body with anyone else. you will invite only dispiriting feelings - either smug (well, i ain't that messy, chubby, lazy!) or defeated (well, i'll never be that tidy, thin, energetic!!). just be yourself - don't be hard on yourself. pretend you're one of your kids - what advice would you expect them to follow if they came to you with this malaise you are feeling?

good luck!! hang in there!! you are so not alone!!!!! :lol2:

RN1989 · Mar 10, 2008

It is simply too hard to give 100+% at work and then come home and try to do the same thing.

All those women's libbers back in the day never realized that there would be few men and children that would take over household duties while they set all the women on the working track. I guess they thought that once women started working outside the home that they would be able to afford maids, cooks, and drivers for the kids.....There are men and children that help out their wives but they don't even take over half of all the things that a women does to run a household. In fact, they aren't even aware of all the things that it takes to run a household, particularly one with children in it.

Don't beat yourself up. Pick the most important taks and leave the rest. You cannot do it all. If you cannot delegate tasks then pick the ones that MUST be done and do the others as time and energy permits. Just because you would like to have a spotless house on a daily basis does not mean that you HAVE to have a spotless house. Learn to prioritize at home just like at work.

Take time for yourself NOW before you get burned out and find out that the fun things in life have been passing you by. You will be a better nurse, a better parent, a better spouse, and a better person if you take care of yourself. Don't let life pass you by because you are too tired to enjoy it. Life is a journey, not a destination.

leslie :-D · Mar 10, 2008

aw, proud2b1.... you didn't know nsg sucks the life out of you??? :mad:

difference being, we have to give it our all at work.

at home, we can and should be more flexible.

over the yrs, i have transformed into an easy-going slob...

meaning, i don't sweat it if i haven't dusted 1 day.

i keep up w/laundry, my bathrooms and kitchen.

both of those rooms have to be cleaned, or i'll go nuts.

it's all about prioritizing.

plus, hubby knows he best help out.

all about balance, my dear.

when you reach that point, you'll look at your messy livingroom and delight in your ever-audible, 'pffffffffft'.:)

leslie

banditrn · Mar 10, 2008

Now listen,I used to be able to keep my home very tidy,while working full time.It seems now 15 years latter and another child,I just cant do it. I have been in a trap for a few years now.I go to work come home do the homework,then what little I need to do like laundry,and then I am off to bed.Everything is un organized and I know it.Why cant I get motivated to do anything,like I used to be?I have also gained 20 pounds over the last 3 years,and I hardly eat.Does anyone out there feel like this,help me with some advice.I am not a lazy person,Im just soooooooooo tired and unmotivated at home.I hate to sound all whiney,but I want to know if anyone has been through this.I have a happy marriage.I did turn 41 just today. Am I just getting all old and ragged or what?
Any advice is welcomed,but please dont be to cruel!! I dont seem to be depressed!
could this be the "mid life crises taking over me"?
Thanks

Proud - do you have any help at home, like a husband? Or older children? If so, delegate some of the chores.

Also consider hiring someone once a week, or every other week to come in and do the comman rooms - in the long run, it saves you some peace of mind.

mrsraisinkain · Mar 10, 2008

I'm sorry I don't really have any advice for you (I'm 27 and struggling with the same problems) but I wanted to say Happy Birthday!!!

leslie :-D · Mar 10, 2008

I'm sorry I don't really have any advice for you (I'm 27 and struggling with the same problems) but I wanted to say Happy Birthday!!!

yes!

and happy, happy birthday, proud2b1!!! :balloons::balloons::balloons::anpom:

leslie

pagandeva2000, LPN · Mar 10, 2008

I hired a cleaning company to do a "clean sweep" a few month ago, making it easier to keep up the house. My home became a disaster while and after I finished nursing school. I still had to ignore the home to acclimate myself to my first year as a nurse and working other jobs. I just couldn't do it anymore and paid a crew of folks to come invade my space. It was expensive, but well worth it to me. By the time they left, my walls were wiped down clean, windows clean, beds had metered corners. Now, I do simple cleaning once a week (okay...every two to three weeks) and I patrol the house like a cop, issuing citations (notes to my husband and son). I am on vacation this week, and will do some cleaning tomorrow and will rest for the duration of my time off. I don't have money to pay this again, and I so enjoy cleaner space that I think better.

Happy Birthday to you. This seems to be a special time for us; yesterday was my 9th year anniversary, but hubby had to work, so we are going out tonight, then coming back to our cleaner home. Enjoy yourself today!

sharlynn · Mar 11, 2008

Check out Flylady.net! You sound like me until I started this program. It's a terrific help and you can even get the kids involved.

suzi-Q · Mar 11, 2008

Hi,

Pangandeva has a good point. Get a little help.

Nutrition advice from another 41 yo. 4 x's a week or more put 1 banana 2 to 3 cups blueberries and 1 cup strawberries in a blender and drink up.

Try juicing your own veggie juices and a little V8 never hurt either. 3 to 4 servings of "hard" veggies a day. 3 to 4 fruits when not doing the blender drink. No white refined carbs, alot less caffiene, no alcohol. Drink lots of fresh cold h2o.

Lean protiens...chicken, fish, turkey.

It stinks getting to this point, and the berry blend, although good (as in yummy), is a little pricey. Your health is worth it. Start out easy w/ maybe just the blender and veggie juices. You WILL feel better.

Eat yogurt every day. I can't stress that enough.

Best wishes.