I just can't... this is too much. Too unfair. Too stinkin' WRONG !!!
Remember me telling you all about our neat patient who just got married a little over a week ago? Who's dad was our patient, too.. the "rooster man"? This young man who had come soooooo far.. from ornery to kind, funny, thoughtful, and sweet? Who surprised us all with his sheepish announcement about getting married ?
He came in for tx. this am as always... but he had gotten a bad respiratory infection along with 80% of our other patients the very next day after his wedding.. he brought in photos, and the next day his sweet wife came in and introduced herself, and we all fell in love with her.
But then all our patients got this "flu" (???) or wicked respiratory infection... we made everyone wear masks, ourselves include last week.. they were all hacking and coughing, chills, fever.. the works. One of our little ladies was hospitalized with pneumonia, many are still sick.. lung sounds are all horrible.
But -------- was one of the sickest. He went to two different docs.. was put on keflex.. no help... went back this week, did cxr, they decided bronchitis.. changed the abx, gave him phenergan as he'd not been able to keep ANYTHING down all week.. asked to be taken off the machine early twice as he could stand no more, he was so sick...
today was the first day he actuallysmiled and said he felt just a little better, but his color was still ashen. We urged him to get his butt up to urgent care this weekend if he did not improve or got worse. He said he would. He then wished us Happy New Year and a good weekend, and out the door he went. That was the last we would ever see of him... alive. EVER.
Shortly after lunch we got a phone call from the ER.. said they had one of our patients up there.. he had arrested.. but didn't make it.. came in DOA. Respiratory arrest.
We had to take turns leaving the floor to process the shock and grief.. we all cryed most of the afternoon. I just can't believe this.
The man never even had a honeymoon .. he got sick the very next day and was sick all through the holidays... he's not been married but a little over a week, for crying out loud !!! His poor wife is in Tenn. getting her things to move up here, so she awasn't even able to be with him as he drew his last breath !!! They have to call her there and tell her the horrible news !
Apparently (as we heard later) he went home and started having difficulty breathing... he called his mother thinking it might be good for her to stop by when she could.. but she doesn't drive or have a car. She must have had to wait and call another family member to leave work or something, but it was nearly two hours before she got over there... only to find him dead there in his little house.
You guys.. this hurts so bad. I'm still so in shock.
I really didn't even want to sit down at the computer tonight as I feared writing this would make it "real".. I'd have to accept it if it was "real".
But real it is. I can't deny it. I must accept it. But I still cannot believe it.
This will be one hard memorial service to attend... and we wouldn't think of not going. But to have to see his wife now... and all his sisters who loved him so much.. their "baby brother"...
his poor Momma who must be writhing in guilt and selfhatred right now... and at the very same place we said goodbye to his "ol' man", the "Rooster Man" only a couple years ago...
