Jealous that I have no life

Nursing Students General Students

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I am in my first semester of nursing school and I spend most of my time studying. I don't really have much of a life outside of school and work other than hanging out with my fiance. My fiance has been going out with his friends and family on weekend though while I am left home to catch up on all the work I have to do. My fiance had to pick up a 3rd job to support us while I am in school this semester since my job cut my hours significantly. He is at home when I am at work/school and vice versa so we never really get to see each other since he keeps hanging out with his friends and family. He tries to get me to go with him, but I am literally drowning in work so I just can't go. I am so jealous that he keeps going out and wont ever stay home with me. I hate having no life, and sometimes I just wish that when I had no life he would have no life too. I know that's wrong, but I am so overworked with school that I just cant help but wish he would just stay in with me. Anyone else married/engaged and have the same problem as me while in school? Any advice? Am I wrong for wishing he would just stay home with me?

I am honestly not resentful. I am truly just a little jealous. He works his ass off at 3 jobs so we can pay our bills so he totally deserves to go out and spend some time with friends. After hearing some of the stories about classmates significant others I do consider myself quite lucky to have such a supportive person in my life. I just do get jealous and I was wondering who else has gone through this and what they did to cope.

Also to clarify I do not have NO life at all. I do spend time with friends maybe once every other week, but for the post part I spend all my time working and doing school.

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Specializes in Trauma, Orthopedics.
I REALLY don't understand these posts, I had almost a full time job through nursing school with heavy extracurriculars and I STILL had time to party on the weekends regularly.

I think a lot of you guys psyche yourselves out or makes the work seem more difficult than it is. All you have to do is work/study smart. From what I remember the 1st semester was pretty much a joke (basic CNA stuff) and a geriatrics clinical. I paid attention during lectures, did the silly assignments, dosage tests and looked over the powerpoints. If you are reading the chapter you are wasting your time in 9% of situations. Most nursing schools teach the same because the NCLEX is the standard.

It's not that hard but you are forcing yourself to have a perception that it is...

I lived the frat life and still have my RN.....it's completely possible. Hell I would even say nursing was one of the less demanding majors compared to a lot of the other life sucking hard science ones. THOSE will give you no life.

I was going to post the exact same thing. I'm in my 3rd out of 4 semesters in an accelerated program and ive had PLENTY of time for friends and my boyfriend...not as much as before school but I can definitely at LEAST have date night once a week and get As and Bs on my tests. RELAX.... you're doing it wrong.

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Wow that was incredibly rude and judgmental. It's really none of your business, but I did not dump any of my friends for him we have the same group of friends. Actually one of the reasons this is hard for me is because he gets to spend time with all of our mutual friends and I cannot. I have plenty of friends, most of them work in healthcare and are totally understanding of my situation. I also have school friends, but sitting in the library till 1 am talking about nursing is not really my idea of a night out.

I see my fiance maybe one day a week and it sucks I DO NOT ever expect him to drop everything and spend all his time with me. Thank you for the unwarranted and unneeded "advice".

You have repeatedly said "his friends." I deduced that that meant he had a group of friends and they weren't your friends. You never mentioned "our friends" or "my friends."

You need to take a breath and next weekend go out with your friends. Or invite a nursing school classmate out and make it a goal not to talk about nursing.

I had plenty of time for fun as an undergrad. And I graduated summa cum laude so clearly I'm not an idiot. It is okay to say "I'm sick of this crap tonight, I need a drink or two!"

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Specializes in Psych, Case Management, Care Coordination.

I THOUGHT the first semester was hard until I got to the second...oh how wrong I was. Third just started and it is kicking my butt. I work 40+ hours a week, but fortunately I currently get the bulk of my hours on the weekend...a 24 hour shift and a 14 hour shift every weekend. So, I REALLY have no social life. But I don't care. The social life isn't what is important to me. Working to support my family plus going to school so I can get a better job to support my family is what is important. What I do miss is reading for fun and having time for my art, and seeing my Dad.

It's easy to be jealous of the freedom your BF has on the weekends or whenever...just adjust your attitude a little...nursing school is temporary...you can live it up with him and your friends when your done! :)

BTW, good luck!

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While I can understand being jealous of his social life, he's picking up another job to support you. Thats a pretty big compromise, you can't expect him to stay in with you every night on top of that and still have a happy relationship. The more you make him sacrifice the bigger potential there is for him to resent you. The guy I've been dating off and on for a while now was so miserable when he started PA school it took all the energy I had not to let him drag me down with him. Ugh. I get it - grad school is really, really hard. But the relationship became so one sided and its really hard supporting someone that much and getting zero in return.

Go do something besides hang out with your fiance or study. You need to eat at some point, go get dinner with your friends. Just try to make time for things you love to do. You'll be less jealous of your boyfriends life if you have one of your own.

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Specializes in public health, women's health, reproductive health.

Honestly? My first thought when I read this was, "Suck it up, Buttercup." I don't understand these posts complaining about having no life. What was your expectation before you started nursing school? You're in your first semester and you are already whining about it and getting jealous? Well, you have the option of quitting nursing school and hanging out with your boyfriend and friends all you want to. How about that? No? Ok.

It's temporary! You will "have a life" again soon enough. In the mean time you've been given some suggestions here that are worthy of some serious consideration. I will say that my first semester of nursing school was very demanding and I spent hours and hours a day studying. Second semester is not quite as hard even through there is more content. I think a got smarter about what and how to study. You will too. And remember, like has been said by others, sometimes you need to put the books down and take a break. Doesn't mean you should slack off entirely. But you need to give yourself time doing other things besides studying. Schedule it all out if that helps. You can actually time everything out in a given day so that you get in enough study time AND you get to spend time with your friends.

Best wishes to you in upcoming semesters. I'm imagining you really wanted to get into nursing school and were very happy that you did. Keep remembering that as school progresses.

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Specializes in Psych ICU, addictions.

I can understand your frustration...however, considering that he's picked up three jobs in order to make nursing school possible for you, I think you can cut him some slack when it comes to his free time. Nursing school will end soon enough and you will have your own life back.

Choose your battles wisely. IMO, fighting this one isn't worth it in the long run.

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I am amazed the he has more free time than you working 3 jobs. Some people have lots of energy.

Try to let any resentment over this go. When you graduate, you will face this as a nurse when you have to work the nights, weekends and holidays and your friends get the day off. Sometimes you will be too tired after a long day at work to feel much like going out.

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Specializes in Anesthesia, ICU, PCU.

A person vents that they are overwhelmed by something and seeks advice from others. Multiple people respond "it's not as hard as you're making it" and "I thought it was easy," and actually believe they are giving sound, applicable advice with this obvious self-praising nonsense? "Skill in perceiving, understanding, and managing emotions" - the lack of emotional intelligence in some of the contributors here astounds me, unless you are of course actively trying to dissuade her from joining the nursing profession. I truly hope this mentality doesn't pervade the nursing philosophy of your institution. Smh...

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Please don't feel too badly. You're man is working to get you through school and hopefully you can give him a break once you graduate.

I'd suggest talking to him about setting aside some time for you, like someone else mentioned, try to get a date night going, just the two of you. If he isn't one of those "guy time=absolutely no girlfriends/fiancées/wives", then try to take an hour or two out of your studying time on the weekends and meet up with him and his buddies for a beer and lunch or a game of darts or pool at the bar. Then come back home and get back to it. He loves you, I'm sure that he'd enjoy you making an appearance, especially if he doesn't get to spend much time with you. This is what I do most weekends. Once I get out of work on Sunday, I'll meet up with my boyfriend and his friends and watch football for an hour or so, then head home to study. Most of the time, an hour is enough time when he's out drinking with his friends before I find myself itching to do something else (not much of a bar fly or drinker myself).

You can spare that hour or two, I promise. How anyone can weekend warrior study for 6 hours at a time blows my mind. I do not suffer from any form of ADD, but I can't handle more than two hours at a time and still be productive.

Nursing school is time consuming, no doubt! But the time really does fly and soon you'll be finished and be able to get your life where you want it to be.

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@ TU RN

I didn't read through EVERY post so maybe someone threw out an unwarranted comment, but the few I read saying "I thought it was easy" stated things like learn how and what to study better and to not work herself up too much. Yes that's not a blueprint to surviving nursing school, but it's ideas to get her brainstorming on how to be better (if that's what she wants).

Those sharing that nursing school was easy for them aren't doing it in a demeaning manner from what I read, and by them telling their experience give the OP a chance to ask what made it easier for them, or to realize she could be doing something differently to be more efficient and start thinking about alternative study methods.

Just because everyone doesn't baby her telling her comforting words about how rainbows and sunshine are just around the corner doesn't make them wrong, and it doesn't make you right.

-- Some people vent just to be heard, it's not that they want the cure to their problems.

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Specializes in ICU.

I'm sorry but the fact that he is supportive of you being in school and has picked up a third job should be more than enough to be grateful for. Take it from me there is nothing worse than when your better half is not supportive at all. I am now a single mom going back to school with a boy who is very involved in extra curricular activities. I still manage to make time for a life for myself. I may go out a couple of times a month with my girlfriends. Several of my friends are also in school with families and we support each other. You will go crazy if you don't have time for other people.

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