Hoping to get some support for my story. Please be kind because this involves the death of my mom. My mom had metastatic breast cancer for 3 years and passed away Apr. 2021. She was in the ICU, then admitted to a med/surg floor that also had hospice patients. I was so grateful the doctor agreed to admit her instead of sending her home because she was in a lot of pain. She was receiving IV Morphine. Her Morphine dose started at a low infusion rate. When she started vomiting and having more pain, I asked her nurse if she could have IV Ativan. The nurse agreed and gave her the Ativan by slow push. Immediately my mom fell asleep and was not responding much. I have so many mixed feelings about this. I wanted my mom to be comfortable but I did not expect the Ativan to make her fall asleep so quickly. But she needed the pain/anxiety relief.
So here is my issue. I worked in he NICU for 25 years and we pushed Ativan many times, slowly of course. I have never worked with adults, except with my mom and dad when they were very ill. The other day I was sharing my story about my mom to another nurse and she said "You don't push Ativan!!" She used to work in the ED. I was shocked and confused. I told her I have pushed Ativan many times in the NICU and so did my coworkers. I go back and forth between blaming myself for asking for the Ativan, which at first made me feel like I helped to end my mom's life. I know the cancer is what ended her life, but mentally I keep telling myself if we would have held off on the Ativan we could have talked to her longer. But she suffered for many months before she passed. So I am also glad the Ativan helped her comfort level. To all the nurses out there who work with adults: is it WRONG to push IV Ativan?? I just want to get some clarity. Sometimes it feels like she died yesterday. I am tired of beating myself up about Ativan. She knew she was passing, and I made sure she was clear that our goal was to keep her comfortable. thanks for reading.
