"It's Just a Sprain"

Nurses Humor

Published

Specializes in Psych (25 years), Medical (15 years).

"Guys  always say 'it's just a sprain' because this way they can avoid falling into the clutches of medical care."

"The guy mind does not  believe in medical care. Guys will generally not seek treatment, for themselves or others, except in certain clear-cut situations, such as decapitation. And even then, guys are not going to be 100% certain. "Let's put his head back on with duct tape and see if he can play a couple more innings", is the prevailing attitude.

There is a reason for this. If you are a guy, you have learned, the hard way, that when you get involved in a medical situation, even as a bystander, there is always a chance that a medical professional will suddenly, without warning, put on some rubber gloves and stick his hand up your butt, looking for a  prostate. Most guys have no idea what a 'prostate' is, but they're pretty sure that if they had one up their butt, they'd already know about it."

Dave Barry's Complete Guide to Guys, pgs. 106, 99-100

Humorous, but we've all dealt with others, both personally and professionally, who think along the lines of Mr. Barry, and two come to mind off the top of my head.

Johnny June, a tech I worked with, father believed the same way as Mr. Barry- Johnny's father was "a guy". Johnny told me a story about a bicycle accident he had as a boy where he suffered quite a bad laceration to his forearm.

"I guess I probably needed stitches" Johnny said, "But my dad just wrapped it up with duct tape.". I asked Johnny what became of it. "Oh, it healed, no problem", was his reply.

Now, Johnny's dad was not some yokel- he was a well educated, respected pastor- and Dave Barry would say that he was, merely, "a guy".

The other, or I should say "others", who thought along the lines of being guys was my dad and his coworkers. My dad was a welder at a rock quarry and I remember back in the '60's him telling me that, if need be, they would pull each others' teeth.

"With what?!" I asked, in shock. "With a pair of pliers", my dad answered. "YOU WOULD PULL EACH OTHERS' TEETH WITH A PAIR OF PLIERS?! I repeated unbelieving.

"Well, with the tough ones to pull, we used vice grips"

As the saying goes, "Always use the right tool for the job".

Okay. Share yours.

 

3
Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in ED, Tele, MedSurg, ADN, Outpatient, LTC, Peds.

1-Cut on foot just pee on it as per hubby! Apparently it heals real fast!

2- Pink eye. Find a nursing mom and ask for a few drops of breast milk. I tried it for my two kids and it worked. No idea about the science behind it!

3- loose teeth! String it, keep them shaking it, then use a sudden event like bringing a burning log near their face for a sudden jerk and hey presto tooth in hand! My sister tried that on me! Never went to the dentist till I became an adult!

4
Up Vote Up Vote ×

ROFLMBO  ?

1
Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Travel, Home Health, Med-Surg.

My husbands mother had all kinds of weird remedies for ailments. One I can remember was before we were married he had a boil on his leg. His mother told him to put a coke bottle on it and suck it out/off. I wasn’t a nurse yet but told him I didn’t think it was a goood idea and it would make it worse. Did he listen, of course not. Did it make it worse, of course it did! 

1
Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in retired LTC.

Chapped hands? Pee on them.

Mosquito bites? Little spit on them.

1
Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Hospice, corrections, psychiatry, rehab, LTC.
On 11/10/2021 at 9:59 PM, spotangel said:

3- loose teeth! String it, keep them shaking it, then use a sudden event like bringing a burning log near their face for a sudden jerk and hey presto tooth in hand! My sister tried that on me! Never went to the dentist till I became an adult!

In the late 1950s and early '60s, the conventional wisdom was to tie a string to the tooth, tie the other end to the doorknob of an open door, then slam the door shut.

There was also the practice of urinating on jellyfish stings. Growing up in a coastal area, this idea was widespread. I even remember this being portrayed on an episode of Friends.

When I was young, once I was stung multiple times on the upper arm by a yellow jacket that got up my sleeve. My mother broke open one of her cigarettes and put wet tobacco on the area. This one actually worked.

2
Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Psych, Addictions, SOL (Student of Life).

Not so much a guy response to an injury but a comment on something I observed at the home of a friend who just happened to be male and a nurse. We were out at the barn and his boys were tinkering in the workshop when we heard a loud bang. Upon investiation we found an expended rifle cartridge in a benchmounted vice grip and a small smoinking hole in a bale of hay across the room. "What did you do?" the boys showed him buy securing a new cartridge in the grip and hiting the end smartley with a hammer. "BANG" The dad admired their ingenuity and suggested they stack a second bale of hay infront of the first for "Safety." and with a carry on gesture walked back out to the horse barn. 

Hppy

1
Up Vote Up Vote ×

My uncle always said he was Doctor Isaiah.  He was not a doctor but he sure did know how to take care of lots of everyday health matters using home remedies.

I personally came to realize that saliva works wonders on itching.

Mud or baking soda paste helps insect stings.

Vinegar and water solution helps minor burns.

Warm salt water soaks draw out infection and soreness from teeth, gums, sprains, throats, and more.

Warm olive oil (sweet oil) soothes earaches.

Iodex (black medicine because it is black in color) is petrolatum base + iodine salve) cures a lot and doesn't burn too much usually.

the back of Granny's spoon applied to the spot you bumped prevents swelling.

And chicken soup helps not only psychologically but actually improves respiration during a stuffy nose/cold.

Maybe best of all is that thinking happy thoughts really does chase away sadness.  

Granny taught that a cold cloth for the sore nipples of nursing women worked much better than lanolin.

 

 

1
Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Med/Surg, AG-ACNP DNP Student.

Fishing line for homemade stitches or super glue if we had it for my brother and me.  He also had this blue powder for the cows, don't remember what it was called, but put that on everything.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Med nurse in med-surg., float, HH, and PDN.

If you get a little of your blood on your shirt collar (from shaving) or sleeve, your own spit will dissolve the blood stain (so said Kelly Ripa.)

H202 will take chocolate stains from you white uniform pants when you are unlucky enough to sit on a piece of chocolate. This one I experienced personally, and I would like to thank the person who told me this, so no one thought I had a fecal stain on the seat of my pants! (And shame, shame! What's the idea of leaving a piece of chocolate where someone can sit on it?)

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in retired LTC.

'What's the idea of leaving a piece of chocolate ANYWHERE!'

 

2
Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Med nurse in med-surg., float, HH, and PDN.

Sprain: A spitting brain

(maybe?)

Up Vote Up Vote ×
+ Add a Comment