It's finally happening

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The long awaited moment has arrived. I was contacted today by a board investigator. I won't lie! I am terrified, but also relieved. It's a step forward. I am strong in my program and although my lawyer feels I could probably get away with "charting errors" I have opted to be honest instead. It is better for my recovery. Please wish me luck and send prayers my way. I was waiting for this moment but nothing has prepared me for how frightening it is.

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Best of everything to you, you deserve it. Peace

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Okay my appointment is Friday at 1pm. I've calmed down quite a bit, spoke with my sponsor and am meeting with a fellow nurse in recovery tonight. The investigator wanted to meet today and was very pushy. I told him very politely that I could meet Friday and he could pick the time should he be available. I've been a crying mess and there is no way I'm walking into that meeting without absorbing this a little. I am ready and willing to face the consequences, but not to fall on my own sword because of an emotional outbreak :). I know this is a small step forward and will primarily consist of an interrogation session to be shared with the board, and then more waiting begins, but a step forward is a step forward and I've been holding my breath these past few months. How appropriate that my sponsor and I were talking about emotional sobriety the other day. I feel confident in my sobriety, I've even had some practice this week discussing my sobriety with people outside of my safe little bubble (aka AA and my family). The shame has lifted and humility sits in its place. To quote someone on here (and I can't remember who said it but it has always stuck with me and at my darkest moments I turn to it) "what a fine line between humility and humiliation, gratitude is imbeded within that thin line". I will let you all know how it goes.

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My heart goes out to you, I've lived the pattern of anxiety/fear/stress it can wear ya out. Good for you making the appt. so you could prepare. Good luck with all that, I'll say a little prayer for you. Peace

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Specializes in CRNA, Finally retired.

Twoyearnurse- your post sounds insightful and mature. I'm confident in you ability to get this hearing behind you and get on with your life as a nurse.

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Sending support your way...may I ask how long it has taken for Them to contact you. I am in a holding pattern myself. Peace

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I wish you the best and I know it will play just the way it is suppose to. One question , why did you not opt to go into the AP program to avoid investigation and possible charges? Just wondering.

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Good morning all! I can not express how appreciative I am of your responses! Hey blonde it took them five months to contact me. Others have told me it can take up to 18 months depending on why their work load is. Im in the great state of Alaska so I think their plate is a little less full. Hey nownimclean i didnt know you could go into an AP program and avoid investigation? Maybe you're thinking of another poster?

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AP is an alternative program and its confidential. You forgo any investigative processes by simply admitting guilt and agree to monitoring. Not all states offer these, North Carolina does thankfully!

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Ooh yeah, I'm from Alaska and we don't have that option, it's all out there for the world to see permanently. Dun dun duuuuun! I'm over the embarrassment of it though. Ive met several nurses who are recovering alcoholics/addicts and they fortunately escaped before being reported. I am grateful for the opportunity to be the nurse in my home group who will be able to hug the next nurse who comes in red eyed and terrified. The only thing that sucks is that to get there I have to go though it! Haha(seriously just laughed because I wish I could just skip to the end of the story, but then I'd miss all the adventures in between)

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