Is this upsetting to anyone else?

[Gompers]

Good Morning America had a feature about a "miracle" baby that just went home from the hospital. She was 15 ounces and is now TWO YEARS OLD and finally going home. She is trached, vented, and appears to be severely developmentally delayed. The thing that bothers me is that they're very excited to show this baby at home and the mom is talking about how WRONG the doctors were that told her the baby would never live, etc. They're calling her a miracle and going on and on about how wonderful it is.

I just don't think this is the kind of thing I'd call a miracle. I mean, it does give a more realistic view about what saving a micropreemie means sometimes compared to those true miracle babies that were 300 grams and are now doing absolutely fine. But something about this news story just really really bothers me.

Anyone else???

http://video.aol.com/video/tiny-baby-comes-home/1901089

(If the video doesn't come up, type "miracle baby" in the search box and it'll be the first video - don't know why the link doesn't always work...)

[lovemyjob]

I am not trying to sound crass, as every death is sad for someone.

But death is not always a tragedy.

I think a few generations back, our society was more used to death in general and it was not such a scary thing. Now it seems we are saving people we should allow to go gracefully because we are afraid of dealing with their death. I think this is true for all ages, not just preemies.

Just because we can, does it mean we should?

What a great point.

[dawngloves, BSN, RN]

This is true for some cultures even. They weep when a child is born and rejoice death.

[evaruth]

After watching this video I said to myself " this mom might never know how to live a normal life again". Having a child with severe disabilities turns your life around completly. You have to worry who will take care of the child at night when the nurse isn't able to go, or what to do when something happens, I hope not, but there are sooo many things she probably has not thought of. It is very difficult to take care of a child with such disabilities when you don't have people to help you. Many of these parents depend on the home nurse and find themselves stressed when left alone. I don't know what to say about this but I guess in some odd way everything has a purpose.

[Elvish, BSN, DNP, RN, NP]

ACK! I just now watched the video!!!

I'm happy that Mom is happy, but this little girl is NOT healthy. She's 2 doing what a 3- or 4-month old should be. Those cheeks screamed "STEROIDS!" not "healthy & fat." As some others have said, what will Mom be saying when she's 60 and still changing diapers? Cute baby? Yes. Sick baby? Yes.

I also have a problem with mom saying that "if you have enough faith...." Does that mean people whose 15oz babies die didn't have enough?

[wensday, MSN, RN, APN, NP]

That is very sad.

The doctors and nurses said 'never' because they didn't want this baby to maybe grow up into a child and an adult that needs constant care, that may not be able to articulate pain and feeling. That mum is in serious denial about her growing up and telling her story.

[ldh, BSN, RN]

I just watched the (first) video myself....

I wonder what was going through the mind of the nurse throughout that interview. She didn't get a chance to say much.....

[Becca608]

In my med-surg clinical, I encountered a 26 year-old woman that looked like something from a Nazi concentration encampment. She had bones where I had no idea that the human body could have bones. She had not spoken for years and the only reliability on what she was communicating came through her mother. This exhausted woman gave everything to her daughter and was glad to do it.

The first time I saw her, a classmate was caring for her and I poked my head in and then ran as fast as I could for the employee lounge so I could cry. Where was there justice in all of this? Where was God? I could not care for her...I could never be an accomplice to continuing life where there was no life...and of course, I was assigned to this patient the following week.

My instructor had me put a sign on the door to speak to her, not just her mom. I found a life-sized stuffed animal dog that was washable that she could hold so her elbow bones did not rub together. The young lady became more alert when the doctors called her by name. She became agitated when they tried to take away the stuffed animal. Her mom talked for hours about her daughter's struggle for life. When her mom had to leave, I stayed with and massaged her bony prominences with Aqua-Phor as I told her about my aging hound and my sick mother.

Over days, I learned to watch her eyes. They were fearful when certain MDs entered the room, dancing when others came. Joy reflected when she heard the voice of a certain floor nurse or her mom. Happiness when she looked into the glass eyes of the puppy I had brought her and interest when I spoke of my own old hound.

What did I learn from the experience? A week after I first saw this young woman and ran away wondering about the cruelty that kept her alive, I could only see the miracle of love that kept her going. That emanciated body was only an earthly reminder of the soul that it housed and that the soul there was intelligent, cognizant and experienced everything that I was able to feel.

Most importantly, I learned to NEVER JUDGE a mother's capacity to love or the ability of her child to love back.

Its very easy for us to watch the clip in the media knowing what we know as nurses and judge that woman and make predictions, but we will never know the miracles that will occur to others by observing her devotion to her child or the miracles that will occur by that childs joy in life.

We are advocates for our patients. Not critics.

peace to all, jediwitch

[LilPeanut, MSN, RN, NP]

Sometimes being an advocate for our patients though means that we do not prolong their pain so they can die a slow and agonizing death.

[Lisa17]

Well I know a person who has a handicapped son who is completely dependant on her. She is always more than happt to go out of her way to take care of him. She doesn't care if she can't go out as long as she has him. Nobody understands until they have someone in their lives that constantly need you. Yeah she has to worry about who is going to ake care of him when she's gone but she's also happy to have him. To have someone who loves her.

[ayla2004, ASN, RN]

i have no experience of premature babies but the same medical tehnology that keeps older people alive if aggressively treated despite diminishing quality of life(and i k now who an i to say what is quality of life) but part of medicine/nursing is to not do harm

[RainDreamer, BSN, RN]

Well I know a person who has a handicapped son who is completely dependant on her. She is always more than happt to go out of her way to take care of him. She doesn't care if she can't go out as long as she has him. Nobody understands until they have someone in their lives that constantly need you. Yeah she has to worry about who is going to ake care of him when she's gone but she's also happy to have him. To have someone who loves her.

This is JMO, and I'll probably get flamed for this, but that is so incredibly selfish of her.

That child has to live a life totally dependent on someone else. Is that fair to that child? No. All because she wants someone to love her?

That's good that she doesn't care if she can't go out and that she is happy to have him ..... but she needs to think about him and what is best for him, because it's not all about her.

[BittyBabyGrower, MSN, RN]

I tend to side with RD....it comes to a point, as a parent, that you have to put the child's needs and comfort above what you want. That poor child has to be totally independent on her, and that is great that she wants to devote her life to that child, but is that child even capable of knowing what love is, is he/she able to give back love, how do you know that he/she isn't in discomfort all the time. As a parent myself, I don't think I could do that. Also, who is going to care for that child down the road, most likely not someone who takes as good of care of him/her as she does, most likely will end up in a home/institution. And to me, that is so sad.

Sometimes you have to put someone else before you.