Is this a strange way of viewing your co-workers?

ricardafrancis · Sep 13, 2011

To Wish_me_luck: Sweetheart, it sounds like you have an extremely big heart and with a big heart often comes wearing it on our sleeve. There are many mean, competitive, spiteful and down-right b*tchy nurses out there, but there are also some beautiful souls. If a co-worker ever acts like he/she hates you then you need to find your voice and stand up for yourself. If you confront a disrespectful coworker and he/she continues to harrass you then take it up with your manager. You have rights, and the person who is treating you inappropriately is being unprofessional and creating an atmosphere of hostility. This in turn undermines your ability to do your job the best you can.

Unfortunately it's frequently the compassionate ones who are misunderstood and viewed as either weak or unintelligent because we're too kind to use a loud, firm voice that may offend someone. They type A personalities try to walk all over us. But, let me tell you what I've learned in my old age: When others treat you as unintelligent, simply because you're not overly domineering, stand tall, look them in they eye, speak firmly and know your stuff. That's how you get respect. And don't EVER let anyone tell you that compassion is not important!! Your compassion is a gift from GOD. The nurses who are super multi-taskers or genius Mensa members have their gifts and you have yours -both are equally valid and thank GOD there are many areas of nursing that require different types of gifts.

Right now the nursing industry is going through a transformation. The educators are trying to attract people who want to be competent, high-powered, well paid career-oriented, professional men and women into the field -which is a good thing. There is nothing wrong with wanting to go into Nursing for the money if you have that type of personality. However, some of us just want to give. That is valid also. There are many people who can treat a patient competently and in a professional manner, but don't have the ability to be compassionate. They can make excellent nurses, but are suited for certain areas of Nursing. However, we who feel "called" to the profession because we have a deep ability to love may be suited for other areas of nursing. And remember, your patients may appreciate a competent, super-intelligent, amazing multi-tasking nurse, but they can also sense genuine, sincere LOVE -it heals them to their core and they will tell you just how beautiful you are. You can't fake that.

In plain English - be kind to your coworkers, even the ones doing it for the money, stand up for yourself, and use your prescious gift of compassion in an area where it can be fully utilized and appreciated.

Love and Blessings!

SoundofMusic · Sep 13, 2011

We have a nurse at our unit, a older male nurse -- who isn't the most popular person on the unit. He's a bit disorganized, sort of tough to follow in terms of not always having his charting done, not having tied up loose ends, etc. In fact, he drives many of the hard charging, younger, sharpie little nurse types nuts as he just seems to followthe beat of his own drum .. .. But he's been on the unit a long, long time.

However, I've NEVER seen a nurse so loved by patients in my career. Many of the older patients, especially the male ones, ask for this nurse -- and boast and request him to come back to care for them ...they KNOW he is THERE for them ...devotes himself to them in his own caring and gentle way, and REALLY, REALLY takes time w/ the patients. I've asked them what they like about him, and they will say -- "He's just professional, knows his stuff ...and knows how to do things RIGHT. It's a beautiful sight to see. In my opinion, he is a true nurse and the kind I can only hope to have if I ever get sick.

I appreciate the sharp and competent nurses as well, but it's these special "angel" types of nurses that the patients really do love. Hopefully everyone can strive to be a combination of BOTH, and still get paid well enough to cover your expenses w/ a bit left over. :)

aznurse1 · Sep 13, 2011

When I applied to nursing school in 1983, three written character references, one had to be from a priest or pastor, and a personality screening test were required. I was interviewed for admission by the director and the faculty.
Today, all one needs is a decent GPA in the prereqs.
There are way too many cold hearted, cocky, irresponsible and unethical people who manage to get a nursing license. My profession is not professional anymore because no one is really screening who can get into a nursing program. Now we have "lateral violence" which is just a euphemism for ignorant low class behavior. Nursing education in this country is a joke.

More nursing abuse, just saying...........................

Fribblet · Sep 14, 2011

We have a nurse at our unit, a older male nurse -- who isn't the most popular person on the unit. He's a bit disorganized, sort of tough to follow in terms of not always having his charting done, not having tied up loose ends, etc. In fact, he drives many of the hard charging, younger, sharpie little nurse types nuts as he just seems to followthe beat of his own drum .. .. But he's been on the unit a long, long time.
However, I've NEVER seen a nurse so loved by patients in my career. Many of the older patients, especially the male ones, ask for this nurse -- and boast and request him to come back to care for them ...they KNOW he is THERE for them ...devotes himself to them in his own caring and gentle way, and REALLY, REALLY takes time w/ the patients. I've asked them what they like about him, and they will say -- "He's just professional, knows his stuff ...and knows how to do things RIGHT. It's a beautiful sight to see. In my opinion, he is a true nurse and the kind I can only hope to have if I ever get sick.
I appreciate the sharp and competent nurses as well, but it's these special "angel" types of nurses that the patients really do love. Hopefully everyone can strive to be a combination of BOTH, and still get paid well enough to cover your expenses w/ a bit left over. :)

As an aside, some of the nurses that our patients consistently LOVE, I wouldn't let touch my dog. They're good people, but terrible nurses. Seriously, their care is dangerous, but their patients feel cared for. So, the moral of that story is compassion is only worth so much, but that's not to say its value is minimal.

xtxrn, ASN, RN · Sep 14, 2011

Just thought of a former co-worker (a charge nurse) who gave a lot of people grief. Very snarky and even had one nurse stocking up on bottles of Maalox to calm her stomach down before the snarky one showed up (she worked the next shift- and raked through report with a fine toothed comb). BUT, she was one of the best nurses I'd ever worked with. She was smart, quick to pick up on changes, did the q2h turning herself (and got ticked if a nurse, or the rare CNA we had, did it- she wanted to KNOW they'd been turned per her standards- which were impeccable). She also gave ALL of the prn pain meds. Period. She used that time to do more assessing.

Deep down, this nurse had a heart for the patients that was second to none (for whatever reasons). She gave the absolute best care, and was respected by anybody who had a clue, even though few liked her. I got along fine with her- once I knew what she wanted done, and she knew I gave good care.

There was one brief issue that came up, and it opened up some indication of significant pain in her life (don't remember now, and wouldn't post it anyway). She'd been hurt, and became guarded. I'm not saying there aren't nurses (or whatever) who are just nasty to be around. But there can also be reasons (not necessarily excuses) why someone comes across as so cranky and judgmental. :twocents:

Fribblet · Sep 14, 2011

Just thought of a former co-worker (a charge nurse) who gave a lot of people grief. Very snarky and even had one nurse stocking up on bottles of Maalox to calm her stomach down before the snarky one showed up (she worked the next shift- and raked through report with a fine toothed comb). BUT, she was one of the best nurses I'd ever worked with. She was smart, quick to pick up on changes, did the q2h turning herself (and got ticked if a nurse, or the rare CNA we had, did it- she wanted to KNOW they'd been turned per her standards- which were impeccable). She also gave ALL of the prn pain meds. Period. She used that time to do more assessing.
Deep down, this nurse had a heart for the patients that was second to none (for whatever reasons). She gave the absolute best care, and was respected by anybody who had a clue, even though few liked her. I got along fine with her- once I knew what she wanted done, and she knew I gave good care.
There was one brief issue that came up, and it opened up some indication of significant pain in her life (don't remember now, and wouldn't post it anyway). She'd been hurt, and became guarded. I'm not saying there aren't nurses (or whatever) who are just nasty to be around. But there can also be reasons (not necessarily excuses) why someone comes across as so cranky and judgmental.

This is a profession that often expects sappy, touchy-feely, openly emotional, hand holding, crying in public types. Those who are cool, calm, and professional are often labeled rude, unfeeling, uncompassionate and uncaring. Ironically, the full-of-compassion nurses can be brutally judgmental with these types.

I'll take the nurse you described ANY day. That's the kind of nurse that would put me (as a patient) at ease. I could relax with the knowledge that I had a lion of an advocate caring for me and focus on getting better. It's also the kind of nurse who would challenge and inspire me to improve my own practice. :) If I had more coworkers like that, I might have more hope for nursing.

Intelligent introverted nurses unite!!

Ps- I LOVE snarky people.

xtxrn, ASN, RN · Sep 14, 2011

This is a profession that often expects sappy, touchy-feely, openly emotional, hand holding, crying in public types. Those who are cool, calm, and professional are often labeled rude, unfeeling, uncompassionate and uncaring. Ironically, the full-of-compassion nurses can be brutally judgmental with these types.
I'll take the nurse you described ANY day. That's the kind of nurse that would put me (as a patient) at ease. I could relax with the knowledge that I had a lion of an advocate caring for me and focus on getting better. It's also the kind of nurse who would challenge and inspire me to improve my own practice. :) If I had more coworkers like that, I might have more hope for nursing.
Intelligent introverted nurses unite!!
Ps- I LOVE snarky people.

Yeah- she was good :)

ProgressiveActivist, BSN, RN · Sep 14, 2011

Exactly what does getting a reference from a priest or pastor have to do with being a kind and compassionate nurse?
In my experience, some of the most compassionate nurses that I have dealt with, are not Christian. As such they probably would have been excluded from that school.
Anyone can fake a personality test easily. And many "low class" people have much warmer hearts and are far more ethical than the "high class" individuals.
I will take a nurse "that got into it for the money" any day. If money motivates them to work hard, educate themselves to become the best nurse ever, behave and dress professionally and show great care to their patients, fill the hospital with them. Many nurses that get in "for the satisfaction of helping others", are often the first ones disallusioned when pts are ungrateful, unpleasant, demanding and noncompliant. They are the ones that 1 year in, get the "is that all there is" reality shock more so than the ones that accept nursing as a professional job, not a sacrifice to a calling.

My point is that ANYONE with a pulse and a decent GPA can become a registered professional nurse. No background check. IV drug addict? No problem. Schizophrenic or sociopathic? Criminal record? No problem. At least a hundred more nurses on disciplinary action every month in my state for drug diversion. I am not impressed with the young nurses whose primary concerns are texting and ordering food to be delivered and then they wonder why grandma is lying on the floor bleeding. I blame the very lax system of nursing education and their inability to weed out individuals who are not suited to give a rats ass about anyone other than themselves.

Altra, BSN, RN · Sep 14, 2011

My point is that ANYONE with a pulse and a decent GPA can become a registered professional nurse. No background check. IV drug addict? No problem. Schizophrenic or sociopathic? Criminal record? No problem. At least a hundred more nurses on disciplinary action every month in my state for drug diversion. I am not impressed with the young nurses whose primary concerns are texting and ordering food to be delivered and then they wonder why grandma is lying on the floor bleeding. I blame the very lax system of nursing education and their inability to weed out individuals who are not suited to give a rats ass about anyone other than themselves.

No background check? No criminal record check?

Let me know what state you're in ... so that I can avoid it. It's quite different here in my state and other states.

Drug abuse/diversion is a huge problem in every social, economic and occupational strata in our society. (you know that, from being a nurse, right?) If Joe Blow, computer tech or Jane Doe, bank teller show up at work impaired, the matter is dealt with privately. But if Altra, RN gets caught diverting or is found to have a substance abuse problem ... I am subject to disciplinary action by a governmental regulatory agency, whose proceedings are a matter of public record.

shoegalRN, RN · Sep 14, 2011

I am going to be real honest here.

I am one of those nurses who puts on an act, and a good one at that. I work in the ER in an level one trauma center in the urban core of my city, that is county ran, and I see it all.

It's really hard to WANT to be nice to a woman who came into my ER on a Sunday night who wanted nothing more but to get "rid" of her 20 month old child. Why? Simply because she didnt want to be a mother anymore.

I still had to smile, be polite, and handle that mother with kid gloves, because otherwise, she would have taken off, and we couldnt let her leave until we had gotten the state involved.

Do you know how hard that was for me? As a mother myself? I had to totally remove myself from that situation emotionally and treat her like I would treat every other patient, while trying to bond with the child, something this mother simply didnt have.

And then I have a frequent flyer ETOH'er who is there every other day to "sober up" and then once he is allowed to sleep for 12 hours, we provide him with a box lunch and a cab ride to the shelter. Yes, I have to be nice to him and smile and treat him like everybody else.

Then there is the GSW victim who is 20 years old, "minding his own business" and these "two dudes" showed up out of nowhere and shot him. His moma is crying her head off, he has about 10 family members in the waiting room acting out, and he refuses to talk to the detectives because after all he don't know who did it, but something tells me it's gonna be handled via street justice and then we'll get that victim in as our next trauma.

Yep, got to smile, be nice and treat him like everyone else.

So, yes, I am the best actress I know.

I consider myself a professional nurse, and compassion is given on a case by case basis as far as I am concerned. However, all my pts will be treated with good nursing care and professionalism.

Fribblet · Sep 14, 2011

My point is that ANYONE with a pulse and a decent GPA can become a registered professional nurse. No background check. IV drug addict? No problem. Schizophrenic or sociopathic? Criminal record? No problem. At least a hundred more nurses on disciplinary action every month in my state for drug diversion. I am not impressed with the young nurses whose primary concerns are texting and ordering food to be delivered and then they wonder why grandma is lying on the floor bleeding. I blame the very lax system of nursing education and their inability to weed out individuals who are not suited to give a rats ass about anyone other than themselves.

Really?

You really think schools who need hospitals to do clincals at, the BON, and employers don't do background checks?

Ruby Vee, BSN · Sep 14, 2011

this is a profession that often expects sappy, touchy-feely, openly emotional, hand holding, crying in public types. those who are cool, calm, and professional are often labeled rude, unfeeling, uncompassionate and uncaring. ironically, the full-of-compassion nurses can be brutally judgmental with these types.

you've got that right . . . certain nurses i work with get all kinds of letters from families praising their wonderful care. but those families don't know that those nurses nearly let pop pop or mom mom die because they were too busy being touchy-feeling and compassionate to notice the s-t changes or the 500cc of blood in the chest tube cannister.