Is LOA the right answer?I

[chellelynn25]

I'm not asking for medical advice. Just the opinions of other nurses if any of them would be willing to offer them.

A few months ago I posted a thread about how my boyfriend had been seriously ill and ended up in the ICU. He and I have since broken up. We had been having some issues before his illness but were trying to work on them. Well to make a long story short, he had been cheating and doing so for an extended period of time, including when he he was ill in the ICU. Anyways. I am currently working rehab its not my first love but I do enjoy my patients and where I work. But the past 6 months have really messed with my head. The break up, my grandfather recently passed away, my grandmother is fighting small cell lung cancer, etc. Trust me the amount of craziness in my life right now is ridiculous. I feel like with everything that has happened and is still happening that I am not doing my job effectively. My mind wonders quite frequently and as of lately I'm becoming distracted rather easily. I cant seem to remember things either, tonight I stood in front of the pixus because I could not remember my password. None of this fortunately as effected any of my patients. But I fear for them. I don't feel as tho I am incompetent but as tho my mind is just not in the right place to give them the time and attention that deserve. I know that it is begginning to show. Tonight the shift supervsior asked me if there was anything that I needed to talk about. She said that she had noticed that I had not been myself in some time. I didnt know what to say to her a million things ran thru my mind but I just muttered no I'm fine really. So I guess what I am wondering is that I should consider taking a leave of absence. To gather myself physically and emotionally. I know that I am not the nurse that I am capable of being right now. I do not want to jeaporadize anyones life because I am in funk. As anyone been in a simliar situation. Any inisght is greatly appreciated.

[LORIJEAN14]

It sounds like you have a lot of stressors in your life and maybe a little bit of personal time is exactly what you need to take care of you and your family. Have you considered changing over to part time, or better yet, work per diem for a little while where you can make your own schedule to accomdate your family needs.

[NeoNurseTX, RN]

I've been through a LOT of stress and life changes the past 1.5 years (including a personal hospitalization), but I am part time and live right near family so that got me through it. I do somewhat understand how you feel though and it's NOT a good feeling.

[MrChicagoRN, RN]

You really need to sit down and hash it out with a competent advisor.

Does your employer have an Employee Assistance Program?

If so, its free and confidential.

[Been there,done that, ASN, RN]

Would you qualify for a LOA? You have some big issues going on but... It could just give you more time to worry.

See a counselor to work through this.

DO NOT confide in the supervisor. It would be sabotaging yourself!! Trust me,Been There Done That.

[applewhitern, BSN, RN]

I agree, don't tell your co-workers or supervisor anything. Take a leave of absence, get your head together, and consider seeing your doctor for signs of depression. Actually, you could ask your doctor to sign the LOA when you see him. Not to diagnose, of course, because I am not a doctor, but you need to see your physician because stressors can trigger medical conditions, like thyroid problems, etc. There is no reason why anyone should know your business; the reason for a LOA is between you and your doctor.

[roser13, ASN, RN]

I think it depends upon how you would spend your LOA. Having large amounts of unstructured time could very well be detrimental to your mental health.

If you have a plan that includes counselling, some R&R, and other structure, I think it might be a good thing. Otherwise, I would continue to work and schedule visits to an EAP counsellor and/or your primary care provider.

[tiredbeatupRN]

First, congrats to you for having insight and seriously examining your issues now. I agree with the poster who said not to go to confide in your "superiors" at your job.

Contact EAP or get set up with a county social worker ASAP!

Until then, use a small notepad to keep info handy while at work to save yourself time and stress. For some of us, this type of illness can cause difficulty with memory as well as other important functions while at work. Something small enough to carry in your pocket and NEVER leave it lying around where someone else could pick it up and have access to the info inside. Us it to refer to commonly called MD phone numbers, extension phone numbers, personal phone numbers, log in IDs, etc. Put the passwords in a different area of the notebook and do not label them as such! Hopefully you don't have so many passwords that could cause more confusion and stress.

If your supervisor has approached you and commented about a noticeable change in you, it's possible she is about to go to the DON to discuss those changes. It's probably best to contact EAP right away to start the process of LOA before you get called to the DON's office!

Of course, I am offering advice based on my own experience. I am not qualified to off medical/legal advice; therefore, I am not doing that. =o)

Good luck and please keep reaching out to us here!

[dprevish]

Employee assistance seems like the best way to go but I wouldn't take a leave of absence because all you will have time to do is dwell on what's going on. Too much self focus doesn't solve your problems in my opinion...it only sinks you further into them. I need to stay busy and focus on others. I always say it's okay to throw yourself a pity party every now and then, but after a short while focus on others and your problems seem smaller. Exercise to reduce your stress, make notes to help you remember all you need to do so nothing falls through the crack and say some prayers for strength. Some days we just don't feel like doing what we need to do and those are the days we "Fake it until we make it". I'll say a prayer for you myself and hope that things start looking up soon.

Darlene