Is it just me...

hikernurse · Jan 3, 2008

Heck, I can't keep all the balls up in the air even at work, never mind in my whole life. When I was going through a particularly difficult period a few years ago, I did a lot of soul-searching. What I realized was that everything didn't need to go well at the same time--things do tend to balance themselves out, though. As long as I'm trying to prioritize things I need to do, I try not to worry about what I'm not doing.

I hope this makes sense; I'm just not sure it's possible to balance everything.

CarolinaMarie 45 · Jan 3, 2008

sadernurse05-

no! not at all... trust me you are not the only one. although i am only 18yrs old and just started nursing school, i am one to have trouble keeping all the balls up in the air as well.

just last month i was going to a private liberal arts school in north carolina - it was my first year of college, i was away from home and my parents, playing college women's lacrosse, making lifelong friends and memories, and gaining real independence. and just after one amazing semester - i found out that my single/divorced mother couldn't afford my $15,000 per semester tutiton... so i was forced to come back home. and before i knew it i was saying 'goodbye' to my education, bestfriends, and my independence. i thought my life was o.v.e.r. not only was i kicked out of school, but i had to move in with my dad, who had his "new" family. my mom, my best friend, just couldn't support me at the time. i was completley heartbroken... it was honestly the hardest thing i have had to cope with.

so i had to deal with it. i had to make the uncomfortable "fit" into my dad house and his "new" family. it was hard. it hasn't even been one month yet, and i'm still trying to find my place in this household, the state of ohio, and even in this world. and as of yesterday - i found out my uncle frogg had a heart attack and is suffering from brain cancer. they don't expect him to live much longer. that's how i got enrolled in nursing school - i felt as though i needed to do something for other people rather than my self.

but anyways- you are not the only one! it's hard enough trying to juggle my education, messed up family, and finding a job- i couldn't imagine trying to be a full-time nurse with a husband, kids, finacial issues to deal with. i salute you! that's why this new year begins i decided to not make any resolutions & just take each day as it comes- doing the best i can each day and not thinking too far ahead.

keep your faith strong! god has his very-complicated & confusing-ways! but in the end you'll understand that everything happens for a reason... “god allows us to experience the low points of life in order to teach us lessons we could not learn in any other way. the way we learn those lessons is not to deny the feelings but to find the meanings underlying them.”

hope this has helped! don't ever give up! god bless!

MIA-RN · Jan 3, 2008

I think that we all have times where just as one thing seems right, two others seem wrong. I've dealt with lots of stuff myself and have learned that just changing one's perspective helps.

Instead of focusing on whats going wrong, I choose to put the emphasis on what's going right. For example: So okay, yeah, my bank balance is really low right now but my husband and I are really having a great time together lately, and the kids haven't killed each other at all during this school holiday.

And maybe my family is arguing and driving me nuts but at least I have enough money to keep the electric on and the house warm this winter.

I know it sounds kind of 'Pollyanna' but learning to accentuate the good parts--or at least use them as a counterbalance to the not-so-good--has really helped me learn to live in an overall more positive outlook----which in turn has helped me realize that there really is a lot more positive than negative in my life.

Its all in the perspective. I use this at work too..."At least only two of my five patients need blood transfusions, and only one of them has C-diff. And its a pain in the rear that there are two who need Hoyers but at least the other three can walk themselves to the bathroom" Really, I am trying not to make light of stress...its just an example of turning the thinking around. Took me some practice, but it works :)

Christie RN2006 · Jan 3, 2008

Ok I'm going to use your ball idea to try to explain what I think... Life is kinda like juggling, its impossible to keep every ball in the air at the same time without having to touch them just like it is impossible for everything in your life to be perfect without some work. Just like while juggling you have to catch the ball and throw it back up in the right direction sometimes you have to "catch" something in your life to set it back in the right direction.

jessiern, BSN, RN · Jan 3, 2008

Well, all my patients I left at work are well, and are dissappointed I'm not back tomorrow. All around a good 3 days.

My house on the other hand lacks a clean dish, my husband has to resort to "tighty-whites" (they are uncomfortable he claims), and the cats and dogs have cheerios in the bowl till I can make it to the store. Oh yeah, my favorite plant is DEAD :uhoh21:

And I haven't seen my mommy in 4 days :scrying:

Is that a good answer?

grace90, LPN, LVN · Jan 3, 2008

Me, neither. I can't seem to keep up with all my kids' school activities, assignments, etc. I can't even keep up with the dishes. I don't know if this would be better if I worked days instead of nights, but I'm tired all the time because on my days off I have to be up during the day and sleep at night. Ugh!!

kukukajoo, LPN · Jan 4, 2008

I think I have come to understand that this is just life. It happens to EVERYONE, but how everyone handles all the curveballs is different.

I have had the same problems but have been able to make some progress. I know my finances are pretty much screwed until I graduate in May, but I have to be very frugal to not sink. I can't change my income by much until I grad, unless I quit and that aint happening!

But here is what has helped me find some balance. I stopped looking at EVERYTHING all at once in a sort of ways. I wrote down everything I wante to change, and then also wrote down a wish list of things I wanted and also stuff like savings plan, budget, etc.

Once it was all in front of me, I began to see a clearer picture and would begin to concentrate on one aspect more thouroughly than the others. I chose one week to do a budget and gave myself time to implement it, then chose another to begin a housekeeping routine.

Having the lists helped me see where things needed help, and made me keep them fresh in my mind and do little tiny things towards these goals. Breaking things down made them seem less daunting and easier to change slowly. KNowing I could not change everything at once was a help and kept me from being super mom for a few weeks then dropping from sheer exhaustion and being right back where I started.

I also learned to take time for ME. To just sit and rest, a bubble bath, anything just for me every single day, no matter how small it was. This helped me relax and be able to handle the stressors more.

Tweety, BSN, RN · Jan 4, 2008

Basically that's called "life" and "life happens".

I'm feeling you though. The way I look at it is that there's always room to grow and these are "growing experiences"....barf. LOL

TheCommuter, BSN, RN · Jan 4, 2008

I can readily admit my concerns that life might be passing me by. These concerns always become more remarkable and pronounced during dates such as New Year's Day or my birthday. I'd be disappointed if I were to die today, because I have not done all the things I wish to do. Life has been routine for me so far, when I prefer more spontaneity and spice. Also, I've been disorganized and procrastinating when I'm fully aware that the disorganization and procrastination will keep me poorer, messier, and so forth.

pagandeva2000, LPN · Jan 4, 2008

I had to review my life around Thanksgiving. My house was in such a chaos, since leaving school and then adjusting to life as an LPN. It was a wild ride, and I was already a bit crazy at work, and became crazier at home because everything was out of order. I hired a cleaning crew to come and it was like the show "Clean Sweep"...and when they left, there was order in my life again, and a sense of calmness came over me when I was able to identify that I was suffering from exhaustion and anxiety. Went to my doctor, he prescribed me Zoloft and I have been feeling better since.

I had to tell myself that nursing is just my job-it not the only thing that defines me. There are many valuable things for me to work on, now. My home, my family, my spirituality and to make me feel good. By the time the New Year rolled in, I realized that I had already started working on my changes a few months ago.

allthingsbright · Jan 4, 2008

As the New Year starts, I have been thinking about different things in my life, such as family relationships, finances, taking care of myself, my relationship with God and my job as a nurse. It seems I never have all of these things organized at the same time. If my job is going well then I get overdrawn. When finances are better I have family problems, etc. It seems that having the skills of a nurse I should be able to assess, plan, implement and evaluate these things in my life. Am I the only one who cannot keep all the balls up in the air?

oh yeah, i am so unbalanced!! and not in a mental way!

part of it is just graduating, but honestly, my career is on track but everything else is a mess. i am working on it but it is very, very hard!

best wishes and (((HUGS))).