Published Apr 22, 2016
NurseMedic28
48 Posts
I had an interview the other day. They did not offer me the position. I got some feedback from HR. They said that the interviewers thought I came across as a Know-It-All?
I was confused by this, because I thought that an interview is the time and place to show that your are confident, competent, and assertive (especially for ED). So I'm not really sure how one projects those things without seeming like a Know-It-All?
I may have not given this much weight, but a previous manager mentioned the same thing.
I know I have a ton to learn and that I am new. I ask a lot of questions. They also said that I ask too many questions, and ask questions about things that were already discussed? So a Know-it-All that asks too many questions? Seems contradictory to me. I am a non-confrontational person. I do not enjoy confrontation nor do I go out of my way to step on people's toes.
I thought that managers would want intelligent staff, but sometimes I think I should clam up and play dumb, or downplay my experience, or generally make myself seem smaller. I don't go around spouting random facts or challenging anyone to a trivia contest. I consider myself intelligent, but I honestly do not understand how I am coming across as a Know-It-All. I don't engage in comparison or self deprecation, but I don't think that I'm better than anyone.
How can I come across as confident, competent, and assertive without seeming like a "Know-it-All"? Be sure to intersperse proclamations of humility and gratitude? I am humble and grateful, but I always took managers as the the straight-forward kind who have no time for the superfluous, especially in an interview where you only have 20 minutes together.
Managers, those that hire, and anyone that's ever received similar feedback: I would appreciate advice so I can do better in interviews, and stop giving people an untrue impression of who I am.
emtb2rn, BSN, RN, EMT-B
2,942 Posts
Based on the 2 comments, your user name & previous posts, i'd have to agree that you probably do come off as a know-it-all.
Need to dial down the assuredness a bit and practice interviewing. Video feedback maybe, see what you say & mannerisms.
AlphaM
516 Posts
Are you familiar with the term emotional intelligence? I'm sure you are but honestly, if you are not, look that up. Practice and I hope you are successful in the future. I have no doubt you will find a great job.
Based on the 2 comments, your user name & previous posts, i'd have to agree that you probably do come off as a know-it-all. Need to dial down the assuredness a bit and practice interviewing. Video feedback maybe, see what you say & mannerisms.
Username was from an email handle I made when I was like 14. I just wasn't creative enough to come up with a different handle for AN. I'm not sure which posts you refer to. I have heard of video taping to practice for interviews, so thanks, that might help.
Yes, I have heard of it. I do believe I possess it. I have really great relationships with pretty much all my coworkers and patients open up to me easily. Do you mean practice interviewing?
Yes, I have heard of it. I do believe I possess it. I have really great relationships with pretty much all my coworkers and patients open up to me easily. What do you mean by "practice"? Like practice interviewing?
Oh good! You're ahead of the game then. Yes I meant practice interview skills but also practice "emotional Intelligence" strategies. There's a fine balance between confidence and overconfidence and many managers are finely tuned to that. Practice your assertiveness and humility. It's tough but it can be done. It's not an easy skill to master.
Libby1987
3,726 Posts
I think it might just be your communication style. Maybe you present with a combo of bravado and trying too hard? Which can come across as a sort of grandstanding.
The one reaction I've had, at least to what I'm picturing, is thinking that I do not want to do this guy/gal's orientation because it will be exhausting.
I think videoing is a good idea so you can get some real feedback.
nurse2033, MSN, RN
3 Articles; 2,133 Posts
I find it interesting you that you got dinged for your user name... :) It is telling that you have received the same feedback from multiple sources. In my experience it's probably valid. I did a little research on know-it-all and I recommend you do the same. It's not about knowing, it's about how the other person feels. You can be smart and knowledgeable without making the other person feel stupid. This is where I would focus. Think back about something you might have said that was condescending. Good luck.
llg, PhD, RN
13,469 Posts
Would this be your first job as an RN? Or have you been an ED RN before? If you have no or minimal RN experience, your "confidence" might come across as a lack of respect for the fact that being a nurse is different from being a paramedic and that you may not be receptive to learning how to be a good nurse rather a good paramedic.
BuckyBadgerRN, ASN, RN
3,520 Posts
I'm betting that you're a male? A previous contact said you were a know it all and now so did the hr dept of a lost job. Me thinks you should stop polling strangers on the Internet and really take a hard look at your persona.
LadyFree28, BSN, LPN, RN
8,429 Posts
Here are a few definitions:
Know-it-all | Define Know-it-all at Dictionary.com
Know-it-all - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
I especially love the Wikipedia definition; it promotes the idea of a "know-it all" is purely bravado and ignorance; meaning you THINK you know, but in reality, you DON'T...you know this, but your presentation has shown that you are projecting the exact opposite, and it's a turnoff to prospective managers.
I would research that emotional intelligence a little more closely as well; step back, evaluate; meaning, you may think that you are right, but for once, what would be the OPPOSITE? Would your presentation and delivery turn off you in an alternate way?
You can be direct while being diplomatic; I am a direct person myself, however, sometimes truth can be direct in an emotionally intellectual way; I've learned to be more EI and practice mindfulness; understanding what is present, analyze the situations, and respond appropriately.
Kooky Korky, BSN, RN
5,216 Posts
OP, can you give a couple of examples from the interview that you think might have rubbed the interiewer the wrong way?
Just a thought - write a "thank you" note to the interviewer and try to fit in something about how interested you are in the position, how you hope you did not come across as too eager, too enthused, and how you would really appreciate the opportunity to come learn and grow under the tutelage of such a great leader as the interviewer, since you are only a beginner and so eager to learn - or something like that.
Do NOT say HR told you anything. It's hard to believe, frankly, that HR would have said that. Not saying HR didn't say it, just that HR is usually much more discreet and much more protective of managers than this scenario seems.
How did you get to even speak to anyone in HR to begin with? They are usually so tremendously inaccessible.