Incompetent

Nurses General Nursing

Published

I don't know why I am so incompetent when I leave the hospital. At work I'm one of the "go-to-people". I do not feel scared or incapable and when I know I am not trained to handle a situation I know how to get the help I need. At work people come to me for advice and I feel confident in giving it to them. However whenever anything happens with my son I'm a nervous wreck. My son is almost 3 and thankfully has only been injured twice, neither time seriously. But this weekend he stuck his hand in the car door as he was closing it. I am just thankful my husband was home to take care of him while I basically stood in the corner shaking like a leaf. As soon as we determined that his main concern was his train he left in the car I got this wave of nausea and had to sit down. I have never had anything like this happen to me at work. I know its different when its your family but I have never been this incompetent at anything before. :confused: Is this normal?

Specializes in Med/Surg.

Ugh I'm so glad to hear this is not just me. :) I was starting to wonder if there was something really wrong when I'm dry heaving in the bathroom because I'm so sick to my stomach and my husband and son are totally over it playing in the other room.

Specializes in ER.
I don't know why I am so incompetent when I leave the hospital. At work I'm one of the "go-to-people". I do not feel scared or incapable and when I know I am not trained to handle a situation I know how to get the help I need. At work people come to me for advice and I feel confident in giving it to them. However whenever anything happens with my son I'm a nervous wreck. My son is almost 3 and thankfully has only been injured twice, neither time seriously. But this weekend he stuck his hand in the car door as he was closing it. I am just thankful my husband was home to take care of him while I basically stood in the corner shaking like a leaf. As soon as we determined that his main concern was his train he left in the car I got this wave of nausea and had to sit down. I have never had anything like this happen to me at work. I know its different when its your family but I have never been this incompetent at anything before. :confused: Is this normal?

incompetent is not the right word. You're a mom and you're not a nurse (if you're a nurse or CNA at work) first and foremost at home. You're a mom and your child is paramount to you, so naturally it's difficult to separate yourself and think with objectivity. Tell yourself and ask him, if you can, when he gets hurt, "what hurts?" Is there blood squirting? Is there a bone or limb hanging? But most of all, is he breathing. If he's breathing, then you take a deep breath so you don't freak him out and then proceed. You'll be ok, hang in there.

Specializes in Critical Care, ED, Cath lab, CTPAC,Trauma.
I don't know why I am so incompetent when I leave the hospital. At work I'm one of the "go-to-people". I do not feel scared or incapable and when I know I am not trained to handle a situation I know how to get the help I need. At work people come to me for advice and I feel confident in giving it to them. However whenever anything happens with my son I'm a nervous wreck. My son is almost 3 and thankfully has only been injured twice, neither time seriously. But this weekend he stuck his hand in the car door as he was closing it. I am just thankful my husband was home to take care of him while I basically stood in the corner shaking like a leaf. As soon as we determined that his main concern was his train he left in the car I got this wave of nausea and had to sit down. I have never had anything like this happen to me at work. I know its different when its your family but I have never been this incompetent at anything before. :confused: Is this normal?

Absolutely, postitively, normal !!!!!!!!! :up: One of my favorite stories was when I was 9 months pregnant with my son and my daughter,who was 10 months old! (I know nursing isn't birth control) in a shopping cart carefully draped to protect her from any bugs!!!!!!:o When she decided to throw a fit! She threw her face into the handle of the shopping cart popped her lip and bloodied her nose:eek:.........I became an absolute wreck.......I started sobbing uncontrollably on the verge of hysterics. I shooK from head to toe when the entire store came rushing to our aide and some one came up to me and offered to call an ambulance for me or my child when I had to collect myself andadmit that I was a trauma flight nurse and a drink of water, a small kleenex, or a cool cloth would probably help!!!! One of the bystanders commented "find out where she works and remind me not to go there" :rolleyes: I was mortified. Who knew that the sight of my own kids blood would be my ungluing!!!! ;)I have gotten better over the years but when it comes to my babies..........all bets are off!

Specializes in Trauma Surgery, Nursing Management.

Dude, you are NOT incompetent! Don't be so hard on yourself! It is a much different proposition when your baby is the one in pain. I had a similar situation happen not too long ago, and I was immediately stricken, then I was able to put on my clinical hat and use my training to go through the steps to care for my family member. Not easy. I was ok during the emergency. It took about 3 hours for my "delayed emotional reaction" to kick in, and I was hanging over the toilet too! Normal, totally normal. Give yourself a break!

Specializes in Health Information Management.

When it's family, especially children, I think a lot of people react that way. Several years ago, my husband was involved in a life-threatening care accident. His mother is an RN, and she freaked out, crying and screaming when she first saw him. Now, he was in terrible shape and we were taken back for "the talk" about how he might not live through the night and we needed to be prepared for him to have suffered major brain damage if he survived, so it was completely understandable that she was upset to that degree. But I can remember thinking at the time, in my horrified-into-numbness state, "She's a nurse! Why am I the calm one?"

Now that I'm a mom, I understand a little more. When a health emergency involves my son, I'm a wreck. As parents, we want to protect them, and when they're hurting, it shakes us to the core.

Specializes in Med/Surg.

It is TOTALLY different when it's family (and I believe it SHOULD be!).

I work in med surg, and have done so for years. I take care of lap choles darn near every shift I work, but when it was my mom having one (she had gone to the ER with severe pain, so it wasn't a scheduled surgery, they did it on a Sunday), I was very nervous. The surgeon doing hers is also notoriously slow, but I worried like crazy in the waiting room, wondering what was taking him so long. She had orders that she could either go home that same day, or stay overnight. I felt better with her staying overnight even though she was doing beautifully; if it were my patient and I was her nurse, I would have encouraged her to leave, she was doing so well. I stayed the night with her, even (she was on my floor, and my coworkers were great with her!).

SO not the same thing....

I will never attempt any major treatment to any family member, for my sake and theirs :)

Specializes in chemical dependency detox/psych.

This thread is honestly freaking me out a little. :o I was okay for emergencies w/my in-laws, parents, and husband, but now I'm worried that I might turn into a nervous wreck if something happened to my kiddo. When she was about 2 or 3 years old she choked, and I did the heimlich maneuver on her, so I know that I can keep my cool with some stuff, but we haven't had to deal w/major blood, yet. (Thank you, God.) Now I'm just praying that my training will take over like it did with the choking incident, and I can have the mental breakdown afterward. (Which always happens: post-adrenaline rush shakes are the pits.)

Specializes in nursery, L and D.

My 12 y/o son has anaphylatic reactions. Back in June he had an episode. I was so shaky and crazy that I accidental injected his epipen into MY thumb, lol. I was a wreck. I can handle minor things but life threating stuff with my kids is a different story! Let it be a stranger and I will calmly go about resus. Its just different with your kids.

Lol! You are not incompetent - you're a parent, and feeling of incompetance is one of the "perks" of parenting.

Couple of weeks ago, we rushed with our 3 y/o to peds. office with moskito bites, we did not know they were moskito bites as her arms looked really bad and swollen. I thought that I somehow brought something home frome isolation rooms and now my baby is infected. As a parent you always immagine the worst case scenario with your children.:idea:

Specializes in Med Office, Home Health, School Nurse.

My daughter is 20 months old and about two months ago, she fell off a concrete picnic bench at my grandmother's house and bit completely through her bottom lip....there was blood everywhere. I picked her up off the ground and felt my knees go weak. She was screaming and I was completely numb, I couldn't move....I just stared at her little face and tried to think of what to do next. Luckily, my mom grabbed her from me and began cleaning her up so we could see how bad it was. I couldn't even function to clean my baby up! I held her hand while my mom and a friend of mine cleaned her mouth and face up and looked to see how bad it was. I was pale, shaking, and sick to my stomach. Afterwards, she had quit crying and was eating a popsicle, and I was holding her and bawling my eyes out. I felt like a failure as a nurse and a failure as a mother. My little girl had gotten fairly seriously hurt and I couldn't even do a thing for her. It was terrible! She still has two teeth shaped scars below her lower lip.

I could sit all day, watching fainting goat videos and giggling like the village idiot. My husband won't let us get a fainting goat because he's concerned the kids and I would startle it frequently to watch it flop. And he's right. But I still want one.

+ Add a Comment