In desperate need of advice...being bullied at work.

Sour Lemon · Apr 2, 2017

Hello fellow nurses!
I am in desperate need of advice. I work at a nursing home, the 3-11 shift. I have five years experience in nursing, however, most of my experience has been in Hospice care. I began my new job three months ago. At that time, the DON was leaving, and so was the ADNS. The administrator was escorted out two weeks into my working there. I suppose I should have taken that as a sign. In any case, I have been working the 3-11 shift and often times, the 7-3 shift will leave work for me to do (the nurse giving me report will say (oh I didn't get to a dressing change, I need you to do it, etc...). I have also been floating sides, so I have to relearn new people pretty much each time (how they take their meds, what their treatments are, etc.) Apparently it bothered one of my coworkers, because she lost her mind on me the other day (in front of everyone), to the point where I had to go into the break room and cry. She was vicious.
When I reported this to the new DON (who used to do my shift and would also leave late all the time due to the shear amount of work) she said "that's her, she's a bully"..."she did the same thing to me." Now, others are beginning to do the same. When I walked into work on Thursday, one of the other nurses said to me "You need to make sure you get out of work on time." (She was also the one who gave me a dressing change to do.) And then, another nurse said "Get out on time." while she was passing me by.
I should mention a policy change happened at the same time as me getting out late (which, I am not the only nurse to do), which is that nurses are required to sign a paper saying why they are punching out late. Because of the coincidence, all of the nurses I work with believe it was me that caused this policy change. Like I have that much power!
In any case, I was bullied, and it was brought up to the supervisor, and she dismissed it. And now every nurse I work with is on my case. I even had a CNA come up to me and say "I'm glad you're still here", which I'm not exactly sure what that meant or where that came from.
I need this job. I have a seven month old baby that I'm raising alone. What do I do? Please help.

I don't see bullying here ...at least not from what you've said. I don't understand why your coworker "lost her mind" on you, though. You say she was "viscous", but it's unclear what she actually said or did. The fact that your feelings were hurt doesn't necessarily mean she was wrong and you were right.

It sounds like you're in a busy new environment and having issues with time management. If you want to keep this job, I'd start by focusing on that issue. Try not to get too caught up in emotion and personal conflict. It's only going to make things much more difficult. That means not running to the DON every time someone says something that offends you. The DON be sympathetic to a point, but the employee who has been around for a while is probably more valued to her than someone new who may or may not show up tomorrow.

Archerlpvn, LPN, LVN · Apr 2, 2017

Find a way to tell those other nurses in professional way, to shove it, leave you alone and mind their own business. Prodessionally of course. If you don't stand up for yourself they'll keep saying what they want, and you'll be the only one crying again. Sad but true..

TheCommuter, BSN, RN · Apr 2, 2017

If you don't stand up for yourself they'll keep saying what they want, and you'll be the only one crying again. Sad but true..

You hit the nail on the head with this comment.

Some people are never picked on at work. Meanwhile, others are constant workplace victims who get 'bullied' and targeted. This is not by accident.

People know who they can pick on and who they cannot mess around with. Here's a clue: those who do not respond to yelling or bad behavior in a defensive way usually end up as targets. People go for the weakest link because it makes things easier.

whiteorchid81 · Apr 2, 2017

Don't let people walk all over you. If you don't stand up for yourself now then it will never get better. Learn to put people in their places. Esp if the nurses are not your supervisors and feel they have a right to tell you to finish work on time. Next time you have to fill out a form as to why you stayed late then make sure you note that the previous shift didnt do the dressing change and put the responsibility on you. Esp when that same nurse feels it within her rights to tell you to leave on time when she couldn't even manage her own shift. I'm not usually one to throw a coworker under the bus, but when I'm being told to finish on time by the very same person who relies on me to finish what she couldn't do then I won't hesitate to put her in her place.

As for the coworker who lost their mind, how did she lose her mind? Did she yell? Throw a tantrum? Made a comment? I suggest if that ever happens again then cut her off and tell her if she has any problems with you then she can show a little professionalism and pull you aside to discuss the issue.

Ruby Vee, BSN · Apr 4, 2017

I don't see bullying here ...at least not from what you've said. I don't understand why your coworker "lost her mind" on you, though. You say she was "viscous", but it's unclear what she actually said or did. The fact that your feelings were hurt doesn't necessarily mean she was wrong and you were right.
It sounds like you're in a busy new environment and having issues with time management. If you want to keep this job, I'd start by focusing on that issue. Try not to get too caught up in emotion and personal conflict. It's only going to make things much more difficult. That means not running to the DON every time someone says something that offends you. The DON be sympathetic to a point, but the employee who has been around for a while is probably more valued to her than someone new who may or may not show up tomorrow.

Nor did I see any bullying in the original post. Negative feedback and hurt feelings do not equal bullying. Anyone who is new in a job will make mistakes, we all make mistakes. Of course someone should tell you about it . . . and you should hear them out and extract the nugget of truth from the conversation, whether or not you like the delivery. Or would you prefer that everyone run to the DON every time you do something incorrectly?

babynurse4u · Apr 11, 2017

I think maybe there is a larger issue here, if the entire administrative team has turned over. It sounds maybe like inappropriate behaviors have been an issue in the past (ie the late days) and perhaps this new team is trying to "clean things up" and follow policy or create policies to address concerns. This usually does not go over well when established staff are suddenly being held to policies that were previously ignored or not enforced, or non-existent. Many times staff will see how far they can push a new employee and you need to establish boundaries. They will usually respect someone who stands up for themselves-it doesn't matter if they like you or not, but they need to treat you as a respected fellow employee. In the end, patient care is what matters. Have confidence in your abilities and project that confidence in a pleasant but firm manner.

marylou5 · Apr 16, 2017

It's no one's business, but Administration, why you are not getting out on time!

I would not give those people the time of day. Say nothing... stare... or smile..or say, "I'll work on that for you"...Whatever you are comfortable with.

Document why you are late and don't deal in 'coworker names'..just the facts.. 1PM dsg not done as ordered, 2PM IV not started as ordered..started at 3:15 etc etc. Administration will get the message!!

Walk away from anyone who is unprofessional and confronts you in patient areas.

Never allow that, ever! "I'm busy right now. This is not the time or place. I''ll discuss this with you later."

People treat you the way you let them..Are you oversensitive...Are you doing less than the others...Are you on your cell phone...Are you slow because you are new and need to speed it up? Only you know the answers!!

caffeinatednurse, BSN, RN · Apr 29, 2017

I see two issues here:

1. Nurses who are not completing tasks during their shift, and delegating them to you.

2. Nurses making what time you clock out part of their business.

Both are easy to fix. The next time the 7-3 nurse tries to tell you that they couldn't get to that dressing change, look him/her straight in the eye and say, "I need you to complete that before you leave. I have my own work to complete during this shift." You have to learn how to stand up for yourself in a professional way, otherwise your job will be made more difficulty by your co-workers - not just your fellow nurses, but doctors, managers, anybody that can and will push your limits. It is unfortunately the nature of nursing - I don't say that to discourage you, but to encourage you to get a thick skin now vs. later.

Address your coworker's comments about what time you clock out the same way. I had this problem on my shift for a little while, too, until I told my coworkers that what time I clocked out was between me and my manager. There is a polite and professional way to tell someone to mind their own business - it may take a little while to build that skill, but once you have it, you need to use it.

allnurses Guide · Apr 29, 2017

Find a way to tell those other nurses in professional way, to shove it, leave you alone and mind their own business. Prodessionally of course. If you don't stand up for yourself they'll keep saying what they want, and you'll be the only one crying again. Sad but true..

When it comes to minding one's own business my motto is Be lake a stealth bomber - fly in do the job- fly out - don't involve yourself in facility, politics, drama or gossip. Life is too short to let work ruin your life.

Hppy

BackInTheSaddle, BSN, RN · May 1, 2017

One of the biggest disappointments in nursing for me is the lack of professionalism. Your experience is all too familiar and many of us can recite similar stories. The requirement for more education for nurses doesn't seem to be helping the professionalism issue. My grandmother who would be 103 if she was still alive, spoke of the same thing. So, with the general deterioration of society, it is no surprise that more nurses are just meaner than before. I have seen this every time I go to work & it is worse now than when I first started working as a nurse.

Start preparing for another role in nursing such as case management or legal nurse consulting. I love taking care of patients and I love medicine so I am in NP school. I just hope I can hang in there until I am through with school.