Immature coworkers!!

[aye-aye]

I'm a recent nursing school graduate and love my new job!! I wish I could say the same thing about a few of my coworkers. I feel as though they act like I'm an interruption to their day if I ask them a question. They speak curtly to me, but freely laugh and joke amongst themselves throughout the day. Perhaps as quickly as I was called for an interview and got hired should have been a red flag to me! I try my best to be pleasant and I'm even told by the physicians that my patients like me. I just wish my coworkers weren't so rude. I was told they were jealous of my sun and tired of their shade😋 I'm not there wanting to break up or be a part of anyone's clique, but it would be so nice if people would grow up!!

[Rose_Queen, BSN, MSN, RN]

You are new. They don't know you yet. Of course they're going to laugh and joke among themselves- they've already formed that kind of camaraderie. I think you're likely misinterpreting things- they aren't immature; they have an established dynamic. It is up to you to become part of it, and it isn't going to happen instantly or without you making an effort.

[Ruby Vee, BSN]

. I was told they were jealous of my sun and tired of their shadeí ½í¸‹ I'm not there wanting to break up or be a part of anyone's clique, but it would be so nice if people would grow up!!

Ah yes, another newbie who believes that the reason she's not getting along with her co-workers is that all of THEM are immature and besides that they're all jealous of her. Before AN, I wouldn't have believed that anyone old enough to have graduated from nursing school and gotten a job would actually believe this. It's what your mother tells you when your kindergarten friends suddenly exclude you, it's not an actual thing in the work world.

[Wuzzie]

The current culture of new grads starting a job they do not intend to stay with (sometimes not even beyond orientation) before they go on to "bigger and better" things I think is the main culprit behind established nurses not engaging new nurses in anything more than the most professionally superficial of relationships. I am an introvert with good social skills. Anything beyond the superficial is an energy suck for me. To invest that energy in someone I do not know and who will not be around long enough for me to see a return on my investment is not going to happen. It's a trust thing. You have no history with them. Do you yuk it up with perfect strangers and share your life story with just anybody? You are a stranger in their midst and in ours. They are not being rude. They are being cautious. You are putting the negative spin on it and trust me whether you mean to or not you are communicating your negative opinions of them to them.

Then there's the whole precepting issue. Those of us who precept (well, the ones who do it well) put a lot of time and energy into working with new nurses, new grads especially, generally without any sort of compensation for our time and effort only to have the orientee let them know that the job you're training them to do is only a stepping stone to something soooo much better than bedside nursing so not really worthy of their respect or their effort. Rinse and repeat. This gets old very fast.

As far as the jealousy thing, for the love of God that is so laughable I cannot even find words to describe how utterly ridiculous that is. What I AM impressed with is how you have managed to completely torpedo your credibility here with just one post.

Sorry if this came off a bit abrasive but that whole "I'm so special everybody is jealous of me" idea just fires me up. It has no place in the adult working world. That's between you and your mommy.

[Ruby Vee, BSN]

The current culture of new grads starting a job they do not intend to stay with (sometimes not even beyond orientation) before they go on to "bigger and better" things I think is the main culprit behind established nurses not engaging new nurses in anything more than the most professionally superficial of relationships. I am an introvert with good social skills. Anything beyond the superficial is an energy suck for me. To invest that energy in someone I do not know and who will not be around long enough for me to see a return on my investment is not going to happen. It's a trust thing. You have no history with them. Do you yuk it up with perfect strangers and share your life story with just anybody? You are a stranger in their midst and in ours. They are not being rude. They are being cautious. You are putting the negative spin on it and trust me whether you mean to or not you are communicating your negative opinions of them to them.

Then there's the whole precepting issue. Those of us who precept (well, the ones who do it well) put a lot of time and energy into working with new nurses, new grads especially, generally without any sort of compensation for our time and effort only to have the orientee let them know that the job you're training them to do is only a stepping stone to something soooo much better than bedside nursing so not really worthy of their respect or their effort. Rinse and repeat. This gets old very fast.

As far as the jealousy thing, for the love of God that is so laughable I cannot even find words to describe how utterly ridiculous that is. What I AM impressed with is how you have managed to completely torpedo your credibility here with just one post.

Sorry if this came off a bit abrasive but that whole "I'm so special everybody is jealous of me" idea just fires me up. It has no place in the adult working world. That's between you and your mommy.

And you have successfully listed a whole list of reasons the OP may be having difficulty getting along with her colleagues.

When everyone you meet is "immature" or otherwise not up to your standards of friendliness or professionalism or whatever, it's not them, it's you. To quote Raylon Givens on "Justified", "If you meet one person who's an *******, you've met an *******. If everyone you meet is an *******, then YOU are the *******."

The precepting issue -- very accurate description. It gets old precepting newbies you know aren't going to stay, and it is difficult enough to precept them without adding friendship into the mix. Why would I want to be friends with someone I know doesn't respect my job, the job I'm training them for or me? The only way to prove that you're going to stay around is to actually stay around. So why would anyone invest their emotional energy in a newbie who will only leave at their earliest possible opportunity.

As for abrasive -- maybe just a little, but look who's talking. That whole jealousy idea fires me up, too.

******* stands for a crude word meaning "anal sphincter".

[applesxoranges, BSN, RN]

Eh, generally there is a culture issue if they are struggling to keep newbies

[chare]

Eh, generally there is a culture issue if they are struggling to keep newbies

How did you come to this conclusion? The OP doesn't comment anywhere on retention, her only comment was in regards to how quickly she was called for an interview.

…Perhaps as quickly as I was called for an interview and got hired should have been a red flag to me! I try my best to be pleasant and I'm even told by the physicians that my patients like me…

Further, per the OP, this doesn't involve the entire staff.

I'm a recent nursing school graduate and love my new job!! I wish I could say the same thing about a few of my coworkers…

Further, if you read the OP, there is no indication that this is a toxic unit, rather, as the OP herself wrote, the rest of the staff seem to enjoy working with each other.

…They speak curtly to me, but freely laugh and joke amongst themselves throughout the day…

Rather than suggesting that the staff grow up,” perhaps she is the one who needs to grow.

…I'm not there wanting to break up or be a part of anyone's clique, but it would be so nice if people would grow up!!

[SmilingBluEyes]

Hmmm. They are all immature? How did you come to that conclusion???? Their culture and relationships are established. They know each other; they don't know you. It's up to you to show actual interest in them and try to fit in. So many new grads come and go; they may want to know you are there to stay before they get too attached. Nowhere you go, will they roll out a red carpet and treat you like a special snowflake. Yes, being polite is necessary, and they should be---- but beyond that, it's up to YOU to make anything happen.

And trust me, hon, NO ONE is jealous of you. You are not that special. I had to laugh at that little remark.

[FlorenceNtheMachine]

Posts like these can get pretty negative fast. I'll try to be as positive as I can.

You feel on the outside, because you are. You are new and feel awkward. I'm very shy initially and really bloom once I get to know my situation. Get to know them, and put some time in. In a few months, you won't be the new guy or gal anymore.

It seems like an ego preservation thing, "I won't like them so it doesn't bother me when they don't like me."

Hang in there!! It's tough being new.

[lindseylpn]

I try to be nice to everyone and lend a hand to anyone in need but, I don't really make an effort to get to know someone until I think they're going to stay. The way some people job hop, you may work a few shifts with someone and never see them again.

I've been on the other end too though. I'm shy and quiet at first and I once started a job where everyone else had worked together for years. Even though everyone was nice, I wasn't included in lunch dates, general chitchat or inside jokes etc. It makes you feel kind of lonely but, I do realize it wasn't intentional.

Give it some time, you won't be new forever. Just do your job well and try to be part of the group. I know you're thinking they're "jealous" or intentionally ostracizing you but, in reality they probably aren't giving you much thought at all. They've probably seen people come and go for years and until you prove yourself and make them realize that you might actually be sticking around, then they might try and make an effort to get to know you.

[Wuzzie]

Posts like these can get pretty negative fast.

Especially when they start out as a whole pile of negative.