So I work for a home health agency and I've been doing this for a few weeks. I see two clients, 9-1 and 1:15-4. One is hoarder, keeps her house dark at all times, kitchen infested with ants, dolls everywhere, trash is emptied on the daily. She is a nice lady when she's in a good mood. My second client, a lady that I have only met with twice. She's particular about how she wants things done and her house is nice and tidy. We got along pretty well, I thought. She told me I was going to make a good nurse one day and that I was patient. Today, I arrived 2 minutes early to my second client's house. It was my second time meeting with her. I called her to tell her I arrived, like I did on the first day. She was mad that I was late, I explained to her that I had a client before her and am given 15 minutes for commute. She kept on fussing over it, saying that no one had told her anything, even though I did tell her on the first day that I see a lady before her... She was agitated that I called her instead of knock on the door. "Normal people knock on the door. Why would anyone call when they can knock on the door?" "Okay," I said, "Next time I will knock on the door." "Well go on, knock on the door." "You mean, right now, as we are on the phone?"
Seriously?
She gave me attitude as she let me in. Went on and on about how other people knock. I became annoyed very fast. I started in the bathroom and worked my way to the kitchen. I remember her husband telling me that's what their CNA of 4 years would do. They had a routine. Her kitchen is brightly lit up with natural lighting. She insisted I turned the light on so I can see what I was doing. I said it was alright and I would prefer to have the light off. She flipped the switch on. I told her again I could see just fine and flipped it off. She flips it back on. Okay, whatever. She watches me mop and sweep from the other room, the whole time. After I finish I go into the backyard to dump the water, hose the mop, set it out to dry, took the bucket bath in. She said I needed to mop the bathroom. Annoyed that she didn't say a word as she watched do all of that, I asked her if I could just clean the floor with a rag with a cleaning agent. She said she would like it mopped and that it has always been mopped and that she told me from day one it needed to be done. Which I honestly don't recall. I was flustered. I told her I will next time, and that I need to get started on other things. She says nothing for a while, sits down, and says, "I don't know how you're gonna make it." I ignore it and go to the bathroom to set up for her bath. She got mad that I didn't take the trash out first thing before I did anything. Like I said, she is particular about things. The whole time I was there, she kept on fussing and complaining about how I don't do anything right, I don't understand or speak english, I'm the worst CNA she's ever had, etc. Okay, lady. I am not a child, I am a good worker, and I am fast. I have a bad temper sometimes and I try to keep cool when I'm at work, but when she was speaking to me like that, the whole entire time I was there, I had to give her a piece of my mind, too. But I was not mean. I would just said she didn't need to talk to me like that and I was here to help her, she just needs to explain things once instead of going on and on about things (like knocking on the door), and that she didn't need to be mean to me. She said she wasn't mean and everyone loves her, because she is a good Christian. Okay.. After a while, it became kind of humorous that she would follow me around and insult me. I would just agree with her and say "Yeah, I'm the worst CNA ever. You got really unlucky there." "Yep, I don't know how to speak english." "I'll never make it in life." She tells me to be quiet and that if I were her kid she'd beat the **** out of me. This whole time I'm just cleaning. I ignore her again. She tells me she doesn't want me there. She called the agency to complain about me while I was in the same room, told them I didn't know anything, I don't do anything, I'm the worst, etc. I go into the guest room and start cleaning there. Off of the phone now, she says more stuff about not wanting me there, complaining about me, to me, some more. I step into another room and called the agency myself and told them she really didn't want me there, and they said it was okay for me to go. I use her telephone to clock out and she's yelling at me telling me to get off of her phone. That entire hour was a nightmare.
I came home and was never more happy to be greeted by my awesome, loving corgi. Maybe I should just look into working with animals, I thought.
I'm not sure what to think right now. I know I will have to deal with some pretty difficult people. Other than being a smart aleck as I was being insulted, I don't know how I could have handled the situation differently. I really don't. I can't just take all of her insults as I am on my knees scrubbing her toilet. I understand that clients will get annoyed and impatient with CNA's they haven't worked with before. Before I started working as a CNA I knew there would be times where I would be discouraged from pursuing a career in nursing. But I wanted to get my experience for nursing school. So far I just feel like a maid. I wanted to avoid LTC because of the running around, not having time to do stuff for patients, and the lack of interaction with them, and just the drama with co-workers. I know nursing is a difficult job, but in a different way. What I really want to do is neonatal or peds. I'm really hoping that along the way I don't get more and more discouraged from my goal. I'm not sure if I have a question, or really know what to do, or how to feel right now. I guess I'm just ranting.
I disagree...nursing is the only profession that seems to accept doormat treatment.
The client in the original post would have been kicked off the airplane if she was verbally abusing the American Airlines pilot. She would have been asked to leave the doctors office if she was berating her primary care physician. She would have been escorted out of the bank by security if she attempted to stand there and badmouth the bank teller.
Sorry, but other professions have a zero-tolerance policy to abusive clients. The nursing profession needs to get with the program and set these people straight.
Quoting because I so agree.
I think we all know some people are dealing with terrible disease processes or circumstances that can make them difficult to work with, but a lot of these people would be totally normal and nice outside of those situations. They are reacting to the stress of what is happening and that is totally understandable.
But I think this ^ is more about the people who just seem to get enjoyment out of making others miserable. Why are nurses and care aids expected to allow this?
I notice a lot of folks are believing that the CNA flipped the lights on...I got that the patient was the only one flipping lights. The CNA stated that she could see, the pt insisted, then changed her mind and flipped them back off.
Wrong. You've got it completely backwards.
This is what the OP said, "She flipped the switch on. I told her again I could see just fine and flipped it off. She flips it back on."
I find this response sad. Very sad. I hope you end your days with perfect grace and not a hint of dementia, otherwise you will likely encounter this same attitude from your caregivers.
Dementia is one thing, and that can't be helped.
The OP was venting about a person she works hard to care for- and whom mistreats her. So was I.
As I'm sitting here. I am feeling the exact same way. I'm with a dementia patient who is living alone in an independent living apartment community. Her children hire home health aides for med reminders, assist with personal care, assist with walks around the building, meal prep and light house keeping.
I am being verbally abused and accused of crazy things after 10:30am (when she seems to stop being nice and begins to be agitated). Normally I can handle attitude and jus YES them and OK them but I actually feel like crying today because she is making it so personal.
Now, this client has dementia it's not her fault and she is NOT in the right environment. It's not safe and she is left all alone overnight. I actually feel bad for her but she is so agitated and I'm here all alone with no back up or support.
I really think this is the hardest job I've ever had. I start nursing school soon and let me tell you I really doubted everything earlier today but I know as soon as I get him it will pass and I will keep on trucking.
Hang in there, I think we need to start looking out side of home health, I know I feel better around of team of co-workers instead of being thrown to the wolves with little support.
I guess I am missing your point. Bc she works hard for the person they couldn't possibly have medical issues? Isn't that usually why people need help?
We all know that some people have mental/dementia issues that cause them to treat others poorly.
But- some people are just not nice people, and would not be nice if they were the healthiest people in the world.
It is tiresome to read the same thing over and over every time someone vents about a pt mistreating them- "but they're sick, it's their illness, it's not their fault, have some empathy, yada yada."
Some people are just mean, and caregivers need to relieve stress and vent about it.
It does not mean that we do not give these pts our best.
I know I still do, but for these types of pts, one's best is never good enough. Some people use their illness/status to abuse others, and some always make excuses for them.
I am weary of this, as I'm sure many others are.
Please don't reserve all of your empathy and understanding for mean pts, save a little for their caregivers, too.
First off I feel your pain. I also did home health care. In our agency calling the client is a no-no. We only communicate with them through the office. Secondly, if I were you I would just refuse to go back to her house. You shouldn't be treated like that. Usually, when we have difficult clients our nurses and office staff will talk to them. You should definitely communicate with the staff at your company. If her bahaivor continues than maybe you aren't a good fit for her. It sounds like you're mostly doing housekeeping and not actual CNA cares so I don't see how you're the "worse CNA ever" lol.
Did I mis-read? Wasn't this an elderly patient? In CNA school we were taught many important things. We learned about dementia, alzheimer's disease, depression... all things that can cause a person to behave this way. Sometimes people can go many years undiagnosed even when being cared for by professionals. Even if none of these are an issue, I always try to put myself in the patient's shoes. I am a fiercely independent person. It is a struggle of mine to allow people to help me with personal things, even my husband. I can get touchy if he does the laundry for me one day. I have to work on that, and have been. Obviously, he loves me and is trying to help, but I really like doing those things myself. Not only is it relaxing, but it gives me a personal sense of accomplishment. I like doing it. Now fast forward 50, 60 or maybe 70 years... suddenly I am no longer capable of doing these things that I once took so much pride in doing... I am no longer able to be "useful" by my own definition of the word... this could be devastating.
Now, I am not saying that we should be doormats, by any means. But the way I see it? These people are not just "unhappy" and mean. They come closer to death every single day. Some of them are unable to handle this in a totally stable manner. Hell, most of us (not all) freak out when we start seeing lines around our eyes or grey in our hair... forget about being unable to drive a car any longer, or mop a floor bc our bodies are beginning to fail. Understanding. That is crucial to this field. Period.
I was grabbed by the throat and lifted off the floor and slammed into a wall by a very large patient once. This was an alzheimer's patient. He was usually very gentle and docile. However, after using the toilet, I had to clean him up... usually not a problem. But this one time he flipped out bc he didn't understand what was going on all of a sudden. All he knew was some little girl was sticking her hand on his bare butt. So he reacted as many being assaulted would do... Was I scared? Hell yes! I kicked the wall and screeched. Help came and from then on, peri care was only done as a team just incase. Was I angry? No. Not. One. Bit. Why? Understanding. Compassion. And.. sense of humor. A few weeks later I watched a charge nurse get kicked across a room by a 100+ very frail man on a toilet bc he didn't want her in there while he used the toilet... she was squating in front of him trying to talk to him soothingly and he just launched her. A few minutes later we were in the office laughing (with this nurse) about how she just got drop kicked by an old man. :) This man was one of my favorite patients.
This isn't about being walked on. It is about being understanding and compassionate. We are not going to teach these people anything new about their outlook on life or their attitudes. That isn't our job anyway.
But what would you have done if you were all alone in that patient's home and he grabbed you by the throat? It's a much different feeling, to feel secure when you are in a facility with help.
Have you ever worked in Home Health? THEY are in their home and it's a totally different situation. WE are alone with limited resources and limited information and spend a solid block of time with one person who will not comply, refuses care, unsafe conditions for patient and caregiver and sometimes horrible verbal or physical abuse for HOURS.
It doesn't hurt less because they are sick. Some days it's incredibly hard, I spent 5 months with a nasty mean woman with CHF and I was fine. Then all sudden this dementia patient is getting to me and actually made me cry. I don't cry easily. It's how personal she is making everything that is getting under my skin.
The point is abuse is hard no matter who you are. Yes the OP may need to tame her temper but that doesn't change that people have limit on how much abuse they can take.
We are told that we do whatever they need. Home health is NOT covered by insurance so these people pay out of pocket for us. I have been told, "they are going to get their money's worth"and have me do things that I really shouldn't be doing. They have all the power in the situation and some (in their right mind) take it too far.
Specializes in Critical Care Transport, Cardiac ICU, Rapid.
to person above: yes as caregivers we not only take both mental and physical abuse very often. It's up to us as the care providers to keep a steadfast face during these times of distress and keep our calm. There are always going to be nice people we provide care to as there are always going to be those that just seem and actually treat us as the worst. You can't expect to change how one will treat you but you can always choose how to treat others
Specializes in Oncology; medical specialty website.
I disagree...nursing is the only profession that seems to accept doormat treatment.
The client in the original post would have been kicked off the airplane if she was verbally abusing the American Airlines pilot. She would have been asked to leave the doctors office if she was berating her primary care physician. She would have been escorted out of the bank by security if she attempted to stand there and badmouth the bank teller.
Sorry, but other professions have a zero-tolerance policy to abusive clients. The nursing profession needs to get with the program and set these people straight.
I've seen doctors get the same treatment from nasty patients, particularly if the patient wants an Rx for narcs and the doc says "No."
Someone mentioned something about my native tongue. I'm an Asian American raised here in the states. I don't have an accent. That comment (from my patient) was rude, arrogant, and unnecessary. That was when I stopped apologizing.
That's also when anti-discrimination law would probably have enabled you to leave immediately with no liability on your part.
OK, that changes things a bit. Rudeness is one thing; racism is another issue entirely.
By law, you absolutely do not have to tolerate that type of harassment. If you have't joined a union yet, find and join one now. (National Nurses United is a good start.) It's well worth the fee to have the support needed to file an EEO grievance in the event that your agency disrespects your right to work in a non-discriminatory environment. You have rights, and the unions exist to do all the work needed to protect those rights so that you don't have to do it yourself.
Nurse Leigh
1,149 Posts
Quoting because I so agree.
I think we all know some people are dealing with terrible disease processes or circumstances that can make them difficult to work with, but a lot of these people would be totally normal and nice outside of those situations. They are reacting to the stress of what is happening and that is totally understandable.
But I think this ^ is more about the people who just seem to get enjoyment out of making others miserable. Why are nurses and care aids expected to allow this?