I'm way too scared to even start. I need help

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Hi all nurses! I have a quick question and seeking advice. If anyone has gone through the same experience, please share with me, it'll help me feel better in that I'm not alone and things can turn around. 

Long story short: I graduated nursing school in 2016, I didn't get approved to take the NCLEX until 2017, which I thankfully passed on first attempt. I was working as a CNA at the time at a SNF which they were offering me a job there as an LPN and I stupidly and regretfully turned down because I "wanted to explore other options besides SNF" since I had only been working in geriatrics and thats all I had known. In late 2018 I got a job at a clinic as an LPN, only lasted a few months until like mid 2019.

In 2020 corona hit and I just stayed home all year without working. I am embarrassed to say I haven't worked since 2019 and haven't put my nursing skill to practice since I was in nursing school. I made a dumb mistake in leaving the SNF to "explore other opportunities" (I feel dumb). At the clinic, I was only answering phone calls and barely had any patient interaction in person, if I did, I didn't use any of the typical nursing skills we learn in NS. 

Anyway, my question is: I feel scared, incompetent, now going back to looking for a job because its been 5 years since I graduated NS and haven't really been a nurse in that time. Im not sure if its a sign I shouldn't be a nurse because this ride is taking too long and something always comes up, like every year practically. How do I go back to nursing after 5 years? How do I get over my fears of not knowing what I'm doing? And to add to my reasons why I'm scared, with coronavirus I feel like im not competent to work with covid patients because I haven't even began working as a nurse, so how do I even posses the skills to treat someone in this pandemic.

I need to start working soon. Im only getting older and feel like im just throwing my life away staying home. I need to move forward in life (ugh sorry, so much I want to say)

Any advice? How do I get back to nursing after 5 years?

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Specializes in Mental health, substance abuse, geriatrics, PCU.

You'd be wise to look for an LPN refresher course in the state that you live in. This will help get you back in the game.

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Try reaching out to your old SNF. If whoever is hiring remembers you, then you have an advantage there. The only way to get over the feelings of fear and incompetence it to just get enough work experience to feel confident and competent. There really are no shortcuts. 

Apply to many places and when you land the job, realize that in nursing, most of what we know is from on the job training. 

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Specializes in Psychiatry, Community, Nurse Manager, hospice.

It's  been 1 and a half years, not 5 years. Your time in the clinic counts. That was nursing. It's a different kind of job than SNF but it's still a nursing job.

Stop calling yourself dumb for wanting to try something other than SNF. There was nothing wrong with that decision. Even if you found out that you don't like working in a clinic or you weren't ready, it was still a worthwhile experience for you and it was still nurse work.

I think you need to be somewhere where you can have support and guidance. SNF would be a good place. Anywhere you have an RN supervisor on site with you and won't be alone with patients or in a management type role would also be good. You're probably not ready to triage patients by yourself. 

I'm not sure what it's like where you live right now, but where I live nursing jobs are very plentiful. I don't think you'll have a problem getting a job. Just choose one where you will be supported so you can gain confidence.

And really do stop putting  yourself down and start thinking of yourself as having a license to learn.

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Specializes in Specializes in L/D, newborn, GYN, LTC, Dialysis.

I don't think you are dumb. You came for advice and got a lot of good words. I wish you the best.

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On 2/24/2021 at 6:24 AM, FolksBtrippin said:

It's  been 1 and a half years, not 5 years. Your time in the clinic counts. That was nursing. It's a different kind of job than SNF but it's still a nursing job.

Stop calling yourself dumb for wanting to try something other than SNF. There was nothing wrong with that decision. Even if you found out that you don't like working in a clinic or you weren't ready, it was still a worthwhile experience for you and it was still nurse work.

I think you need to be somewhere where you can have support and guidance. SNF would be a good place. Anywhere you have an RN supervisor on site with you and won't be alone with patients or in a management type role would also be good. You're probably not ready to triage patients by yourself. 

I'm not sure what it's like where you live right now, but where I live nursing jobs are very plentiful. I don't think you'll have a problem getting a job. Just choose one where you will be supported so you can gain confidence.

And really do stop putting  yourself down and start thinking of yourself as having a license to learn.

Hi and thank you for your words. Yes, although technically it's been over a year since I held the title of nurse, I feel like its been 5 since I graduated and did nursing hands on. I guess the reason why I say "I'm dumb" for not taking the SNF job is because I decided to take the clinic job instead which after working there for about 9 months, I was fired. The SNF job would have been guaranteed, they WANTED me there. I really feel like crying right now because getting fired has made me feel so unmotivated, discouraged, and somewhat depressed. This was my career and I felt I had worked hard to get into the nursing program. But I do need to work soon, its really hard to think about going back to work, but I need to.

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Specializes in Psychiatry, Community, Nurse Manager, hospice.
On 3/3/2021 at 1:06 AM, PrettyNerd said:

Hi and thank you for your words. Yes, although technically it's been over a year since I held the title of nurse, I feel like its been 5 since I graduated and did nursing hands on. I guess the reason why I say "I'm dumb" for not taking the SNF job is because I decided to take the clinic job instead which after working there for about 9 months, I was fired. The SNF job would have been guaranteed, they WANTED me there. I really feel like crying right now because getting fired has made me feel so unmotivated, discouraged, and somewhat depressed. This was my career and I felt I had worked hard to get into the nursing program. But I do need to work soon, its really hard to think about going back to work, but I need to.

Getting fired is a tough blow to your confidence. It might help if you understand or face why you were fired so that you can make sure it doesn't happen again. 

What was the reason you were fired?

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On 3/4/2021 at 6:25 AM, FolksBtrippin said:

Getting fired is a tough blow to your confidence. It might help if you understand or face why you were fired so that you can make sure it doesn't happen again. 

What was the reason you were fired?

To be honest, they wrote some things on paper to make me look bad and have a reason to fire me, although I never heard anything negative from patients or coworkers except for the "supervisor " which apparently didn't like me because according to other people she was insecure and thought I was there to take her job. She was the only other LPN there and then I came along. Some of those thing they wrote down was "lack of confidence" and apparently that was their big issue. They also said I wasn't completing my work although I was getting more work done than the other LPN, and she would sometimes give me some of her work because she was too lazy to do so herself. So there's the "reasons"... sorry it still angers me.

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I would first go back to where they wanted you.  Hopefully the same people will be there and they will be willing to help you succeed.

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I am a nurse practitioner, and it is funny how relatable this is.  I opted not to renew my contract at a primary care office last year to stay home with my children who where doing online school.  Now I'm going back to work part-time in hospital medicine, and I'm terrified.

Just try to remember that you have the basic education you need to do any nursing job appropriate to an LPN.  With every single position you ever work in, you have to learn to do that job.  You have only had one position that did not work out.  The people you worked for as a CNA thought you were wonderful!

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Hi nurses. I am coming on to here extremely frustrated and I am extremely embarrassed of myself. Last post I mentioned how I am trying to get back into nursing after 5 years. I am on my phone so I am not sure how to post that link. Anyway, I have been looking for jobs and nothing seems to be to my liking or appropriate for me. I am extremely ashamed of myself for being 31 and jobless and on top of that, not knowing what I want to do. In my last post I mentioned how I regret leaving my last CNA job because they were already offering me an lpn job there. I was stupid and wanted to "explore other opportunities " which only lead to me getting fired and being jobless for over a year an a half.

I need a job asap! Like I need a job a year and a half ago. I am so embarrassed to see other girls younger than me and newer to nursing and they are so brave to immediately get a job at a SNF or hospital or wherever. I deactivated my social media since 2016 because I was seeing my classmates move on and get good nursing jobs while I was over here just waiting to test for the NCLEX. I miss my high school friends and would like social media back but I promised myself not to get social media until I was happy with myself because it was making me depressed.That was 5 years ago and I'm still not a nurse. I am still embarrassed to put myself out there when I  feel depressed knowing people are stronger than me and im just here afraid I'm gonna make a mistake, afraid I'm gonna be fired again, afraid I won't have an income anymore. Im literally crying right now because I hate myself! I need money STAT!! I'm so frustrated in myself because I'm only getting older and im not a nurse. Thats what I went to school for and I don't want my education to go to waste. I don't know what to do. How do I get out of my head? I want to be able to talk to people about my career and not have to hide from people because I'm embarrassed of myself. I feel like I need therapy. I literally have no friends. And I wanted to come on here to vent and maybe someone can tell me what to do. Im so tired of living in my head.

Im too afraid to start my nursing career. It's been 5 years since I graduated. Does this mean I'm not meant to be a nurse? What do I do? Why am I so afraid to apply to a nursing position? Am I not smart enough? Am I too slow for nursing? Why do I overthink this?

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Specializes in Rehab/Nurse Manager.

You remind me of myself quite a bit.  I completely understand how depressing it can be to see others pursue things you’d like or have experiences you want.  You were smart to deactivate your social media because it is so easy to compare oneself to others.  I’m close to your age, 30, and frustrated with my own position in life, so I can relate to much of what you posted.  Anyway, back to you.  It seems like you have anxiety, which I think is holding you back.  With that said, I think there are a few things to look into.  Have you actually taken the NCLEX? It’s hard to tell from your post. If not, I think that’s the first step.  It can be a nerve wracking experience, but there are many prep programs available to help you study.  I liked the Kaplan program.  However, if you’ve been out of school for 5 years, you may need to take a refresher course of some type in order to take the NCLEX (which may in the short-term slow you down but actually might be beneficial because you’d be surprised how quickly you forget a lot of the information presented in nursing school if you don’t actively use it).  That would be the first step.  Next, once you pass, think about where you’d feel the most comfortable.  Which clinical did you enjoy the most? That may give a hint as to what jobs to go after.  I personally would recommend a job with some routine to get you back into nursing.  A clinic job may be nice, however, you may find it doesn’t offer you variety.  That might be okay if stability is what you are looking for.   I found the SNF to be a good place for a new nurse: routine assignment and yet, you’ll get experience with patients that may become medically unstable.  As someone with anxiety myself, I found hospital nursing too stressful myself: too unpredictable and many staff were not supportive.  You may have a different experience though depending on if you can find a supportive work environment.  With that said, the only way to get a nursing position is to send applications out.   Interviews can be stressful, but there are many places wanting nurses that I believe you would find a job eventually. 
 

Good luck to you.  Feel free to PM me if you want to talk more

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