I'm getting terminated from my first nursing job

[Nurseadam]

I have violated a hospital policy, not in patient care or a hippa violation, but I've made a mistake of hooking up with a coworker in the parking lot after work. This ended up to the manager, and we had a meeting with HR, and now I'm on a leave. They claimed it was a sexual act on the company premises and there is witnesses.

I'm devastated, i feel completely retarded and that shouldn't have even happen, but people make mistakes, I'm a hard worker, and now awaiting their decision, there's 90% i'm getting fired because of this.

The thing i'm worried about is what's going to happen if i applied to other jobs, would this affect me at all? is it confidential or what is going to happen?

if anyone has an insight on this will be much appreciated

I apologize, i didn't know where to post this, i'm just stressed out and beating myself everyday for this mistake.

[iluvivt, BSN, RN]

Some lively comments here. I tend to be a bit more understanding in situations like this and though while it may have not been the best decison I can understand it because I am human. I am certain that part of the excitement of the situation was the fact that it was in the parking lot and was somewhat risky and was fun before you got caught. As a matter of fact I am certain that if I had seen that in my hospital parking lot I would not have reported it.

Great advice from MBrickle! What is your calculated quess about what your employer will do based upon what they have done in the past with nurses put on leave? I personally would not jump the gun and quit as they just may keep you and you can overcome this and move on and continue to provide good nursing care to your patients.

Please let us know the outcome. It will all work out and hang in there. Many others have done things like this in their past and have just not been caught!

[Patti_RN]

I'll return to the OP's questions, without judgment.

Most employers will not share the exact reasons for termination when a new, prospective employer requests a reference. Many people believe there is a law that forbids this, but it's more the threat that the employee will sue for defamation that prevents employers from sharing the details or reasons an employee left or was terminated. So, officially, your employer will state, "Mr. Smith was employed here in the capacity of an RN from August, 2012 to January 2013." That will be the extent of what they state in writing or by email--but, if the manager where you are applying calls her friend, the manager where you were dismissed, the 'off the record' details may be given. So, you're taking a risk if you claim to have left voluntarily and they find out otherwise. They will likely assume you've been terminated (even if they don't know the details) because you are applying for jobs while not currently employed (few people quit a job before securing a new one).

It's very likely the next move is termination after suspending you. Employers are careful to dot their i's and cross their t's before firing an employee. They don't want to be in a position where they are forced to rehire, pay unemployment, or lose a lawsuit. This is the reason people are first suspended then days or weeks later they are terminated. You might choose to resign as you could legitimately state on future applications that you quit, rather than have to say you were fired. (But, again, the truth has a way of coming out--honesty is virtually always the best policy.)

I have no idea how long you've had this job--you state it's your first job--but if you were there less than 6 months or even a year, you may simply choose to ignore this on your resume. One of my duties is hiring employees; I might be reluctant to hire someone who was terminated for what you did, but I'd also be hesitant to hire an applicant who graduated a year ago and has no nursing experience. Either way, your options aren't great. Unfortunately for those with less-than-perfect records, there is a lot of competition for very few Nursing Jobs. Employers can afford to be selective; with all things being equal between two applicants except one had a lapse in judgment and the other didn't, guess who will get the job?

My best advice is to resign, put your resume together (considering whether you think admitting to this is better or worse than having no work experience) and cross your fingers. I cannot predict how other employers will react; hiring managers are people, and people are individuals with very different standards and values. What one person believes is a youthful mistake, another will think is a terrible lapse of judgment (and not be willing to risk hiring someone who might make other bad decisions).

Your career may not recover from this (especially with the surplus of able and experienced nurses seeking jobs). I'm not trying to be harsh, but I read many of the replies to your original post and suspect you might have what employers call 'attitude problems'. You do accept responsibility for your actions--which is very admirable and mature, but some of your other comments come off as hostile and argumentative. It could be that you're stressed over this situation, which is understandable. But, for your sake, try to tone it down a notch or two. You'll be more employable and more respected by your colleagues and managers if you don't take the offensive when you don't agree with what others have said. Good luck.

[eatmysoxRN, ASN, RN]

I'll admit I'd probably seriously consider hooking up with some of the medical residents... They are gorgeous.

However, I would never do so on hospital property. It wouldn't be worth it.

Anyhow, I'm sure you've understood by now that you've made a mistake. I'd suggest you resign and move on. Put it on your resume. It's still valuable experience.

~ No One Can Make You Feel Inferior Without Your Consent -Eleanor Roosevelt ~

[coffeegirl7]

Being in Nursing Leadership, I am always suspicious when I interview a nurse who is currently not employed because they resigned with no other job lined up. Yes you may get fired, but most HR departments will only reveal that you did work there for X number of months/years. Find another job ASAP, and in your interviews, explain that you have decided to move on because of a personal relationship with a co-worker. They can't ask more-and you don't need to offer more. You could be leaving because a relationship developed and you have decided it would be better to take it out of the workplace. Then go on about what you love in Emergency Nursing and what their facility has to offer/reasons you are interested in working for them. Just my suggestion-but I wouldn't hire you if you resigned with no job to go to, especially being a new nurse with less than a year of experience.

I am not going to judge the situation, you have your conscience to live with.

[coffeegirl7]

By the way, did they review the code of conduct HR policy with you?

What you did is not ok, but if there is no policy that states anything about personal conduct on hospital property, you might have a legal leg to stand on to avoid termination. And if neither of you were clocked in at the time, it was your own time.

[britishnomore]

I would suggest you review some grammar basics. I would review comma usage, run on sentences and the capitalization of proper nouns. It would, for the love of God, lend credibility to your opinions.

You are right of course about that, but I also think that your point was unnecessary. The lack of capitalizing I's shows complete laziness.

[Jolie, BSN]

Wouldn't the "not eligible to rehire" hurt my chances of getting a job at any new facility?

Yes, it will. I am a hiring manager. If I receive this information from a reference, I figure that they know the candidate. I do not. If they won't hire the candidate based upon their knowledge of him, why should I take a chance?

Unless the candidate has "run interference" by addressing a potential issue before I check the reference, this is the point where the application goes into the "NO" pile.

Another thought...not to "pile on" but to explain why this behavior is such an issue from a Human Resources standpoint. I manage a group of about 35 people. I could not care less who dates whom, who has sex with whom, or any other detail of their personal lives. It is none of my business, and I go to great lengths to AVOID the grape-vine and gossip because I don't want to know.

But when something happens right under a manager's nose, she can no longer keep blinders on. Managing a group of workers is a challenge from many perspectives. The biggest challenge is not related to skills, knowledge, work performance, or even attendance. It is relationships between co-workers, especially with a female-dominated work team. Guys would snicker, and quickly move on. Women do not respond the same way. An incident like this disrupts the work environment for a long time, and the person's continued presence on the unit will be viewed as a harbinger of problems to come, unless the manager is convinced otherwise.

Does that make sense?

[msteeleart]

You couldn't wait until you got home or got to his/her place. Sounds like you are lacking impulse control.

[enuf_already]

If you're looking for a direct answer to your question- I would resign. Even if they took you back. I have a feeling you'd find your place of employment a very hostile and unplesant place to work at that point. Gossip spreads pretty fast.

It's not much of a comfort but your "transgression" could be so much worse. I mean I'm not sure what might look worse to a potential employer- what you did, or doing something else like neglect of a patient. I guess to me the latter. If an application asks why you left this job...well I don't know. You could put "personal" and if the potiental employer inquired further, you could just be straightforward, and say you are sorry it happened, you understand the poor light it might shine on you, but you assure them that it's not in your nature to do something with such little regard for policy. (And that's not an extra jab at you, it just sounds good).

In the mean time if you have co-workers who you feel can speak to your true character, you might need to do some pleading. Stuff happens, yes. Like the rest of the people on this forum I'm not sure why the parking lot and not somewhere off campus would have sufficed. I'm also curious as to who would have ratted you out- who would have known it was you? Were they in for a peek show or something?! I hope this all passes and you are able to move on, and for the other one involved as well.

I don't know that anyone would have needed to "rat out" the OP if his facility is like mine. There are security cameras everywhere. Security has to investigate and report any unusual findings on the property. All they need is a license plate number to figure out who a car belongs to. It pays to remember your employer may be watching you even when you don't realize it.

[prep8611]

I hope she was at least hot... Is she getting fired also?

[elkpark]

nurses are human too, so stop judging people. I am a patient advocate in the nursing setting, but when i clock off, i do whatever i want, it's no ones business, but i misjudged this and made a huge mistake.

I'm not going to bother piling on the judgment (I see plenty of people beat me to it :)), but just wanted to point out that this statement is not necessarily true for those of us in licensed professions/occupations. By virtue of our licensure, we are voluntarily agreeing to be held to a higher standard than the general public, and what we do outside of work can be someone else's business, our employer's or the BON's business. Most state BONs still have some kind of "moral turpitude" clause in the licensure regulations (that you have to be ethically and morally fit to be a nurse and it's never really clear what, exactly, that means), and most employers have strict rules about what employees can and can't do on their property, regardless of whether they are "on the clock" or not.

Best wishes.

[SNB1014, RN]

Op, that sucks. Sorry, hope you enjoyed it.

I didn't read the whole thread, but a kiss/pg make out shouldn't be a big.deal. plenty of people meet their soon to be spouses at work.

If you were getting b@nged then yeah, that's bad.

But my question is are you the female? What is supposedly happening to the other member of your tryst? I would hope everyone is equally to blame. Were they your superior?