If I Murder A Co-worker, How To Hide The Body??

Nurses General Nursing

Published

So here is the scenario: step-down for by-pass surgery/thorocotomy patients..first time in the unit; 3 patients - one DOS, the other two matching thorocotomy with "issues".

I was assigned to this floor the past two days - I never complain about my assignment from Central Staffing BUT, these ignorant women wouldn't take time to say HI, let alone show me where things were....the paper work is redundant - paper plus computer and the flow sheet doesn't flow, you need an interpretor.

The oldest RN (not in charge) for my 2 nights is what I call a "pot stirrer" - you know, if it's quiet, she will have to start something so she can either be a martyr or a saviour...

One of my patients went bad mid-shift - I got orders for boluses, Dopamine, the usual. She "volunteered" to go over to CVICU across the hall and retrieve Hespan - I stupidly trusted her and asked her to update the charge who was over there for most of the night....

When Charge came around 3 hours later, I pulled her aside and said I would like to update her on my patient....she started yelling "why wasn't I told"... I said, I asked Nurse Ratchet to update you when she went for the Hespan.... she said, '"OH, SHE DIDN'T TELL ME WHAT WAS GOING ON, SHE SAID SHE HAD TO HELP YOU BECAUSE YOU WERE DROWNING"....it took every bit of will power....I straightened things out with her and went about my business.

They sent me back there last night and she started some more crap the minute I left for lunch. The same patient had pain-control issues all day, the daughter was so upset she threatened the day nurse ... I had the woman comfortable or I would never have left for the brief time it took to drop off some stuff on another floor for a friend who wanted to borrow some CCRN prep books.... I return and the ***** is in my room - BOTh my pain patient and my nutty patient (who finally slept) were up and awake....she said she heard my patient moaning.... the roommate said that the nurse came in and woke them both up...now she is nutty but not confused.

I was confronted with her present by the Charge (a different charge) and I explained what I had done, what I had planned, etc.... he later took me aside and apologized and said to the effect she is a schemer.

To cap it off, no one answered the call light in the corner room near mine so I did....the guy wanted a drink - done....I leave the room, the light goes on again, oops, a mistake....I turn it off and as I leave the room, it trips again..... I discover he has turned the control over and laid it on his knee and the knee is just enough to set it off...I fix it and as I leave the room and walk down the hall, I hear the ***** say: " geez, can't she even fix a call light".

Thanks, needed to vent.......

Well first you wipe down the weapon and leave it there. No weapon no link to you. Make sure it isn't from a knife set or one of your registered weapons or one you have shown others.

Then burn the the entire area to rid it of biological evidence.

Make sure, before you commit the act you make a very long and public show of 'making up' with the person so you have no motive. I'm talking weeks. Eat lunch with them. Joke.

Remember the pepper for the tears.

Another good thing is show someone else the wepon first and have them hold it. Gets the fingerprints on it. Have them fire it as weel if it is a gun. Only works on the same day and close enough to the murder so that they still have gun shot residue. Stay with them so their only alibi is you, but don't testify. Deny their alibi...

Oh wait... this was a joke forum. Nevermind...

Specializes in Hospice.

I agree with End Game RN......sounds like Gator Bait to me....being from the South and all........:yeah:

And I do imagine that you would be thanked profoundly, maybe even get a raise. Seems like it's always hard to get rid of those types of folks.

Hold your head up girl!!

Dianne

Specializes in ER, Med/Surg.

Didn't catch where you were from....but we have these things in Indiana called "sink holes". For the most part, what goes in never comes out.

Specializes in ER,ICU,L+D,OR.

Go the Green way

Compost it

Specializes in most of them.

I am loving this thread. I also lived in Sault-ste-Marie Michigan for many yrs and Michigan has loads of forest and no people in the upper peninsula. If you have a big trunk or a pickup with a big rug it's worth the ride. Lots of bears and coyotes. Lake Superior has a few (lol) bodies in it too as the native americans say.:rolleyes:

Specializes in heart failure and prison.

Misery loves company, I would hobble her like the movie misery or K-chloride.

Go the Green way

Compost it

Now there's an environmentally friendly way.

Specializes in Med surg, Critical Care, LTC.

In a haunted house, once it was mummified that is.

this thread wins. it's by far the best!

I'd "check" the crash cart when she was very close by. "Oh my gosh, it won't discharge, seriously, like no power! Really, here, touch the paddle."

^that mad me laugh out loud :yeah:

Bury her in the backyard!

Specializes in CNA.

sheesh somebody should light that **** on fire. lol.

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