If I Murder A Co-worker, How To Hide The Body??

Nurses General Nursing

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So here is the scenario: step-down for by-pass surgery/thorocotomy patients..first time in the unit; 3 patients - one DOS, the other two matching thorocotomy with "issues".

I was assigned to this floor the past two days - I never complain about my assignment from Central Staffing BUT, these ignorant women wouldn't take time to say HI, let alone show me where things were....the paper work is redundant - paper plus computer and the flow sheet doesn't flow, you need an interpretor.

The oldest RN (not in charge) for my 2 nights is what I call a "pot stirrer" - you know, if it's quiet, she will have to start something so she can either be a martyr or a saviour...

One of my patients went bad mid-shift - I got orders for boluses, Dopamine, the usual. She "volunteered" to go over to CVICU across the hall and retrieve Hespan - I stupidly trusted her and asked her to update the charge who was over there for most of the night....

When Charge came around 3 hours later, I pulled her aside and said I would like to update her on my patient....she started yelling "why wasn't I told"... I said, I asked Nurse Ratchet to update you when she went for the Hespan.... she said, '"OH, SHE DIDN'T TELL ME WHAT WAS GOING ON, SHE SAID SHE HAD TO HELP YOU BECAUSE YOU WERE DROWNING"....it took every bit of will power....I straightened things out with her and went about my business.

They sent me back there last night and she started some more crap the minute I left for lunch. The same patient had pain-control issues all day, the daughter was so upset she threatened the day nurse ... I had the woman comfortable or I would never have left for the brief time it took to drop off some stuff on another floor for a friend who wanted to borrow some CCRN prep books.... I return and the ***** is in my room - BOTh my pain patient and my nutty patient (who finally slept) were up and awake....she said she heard my patient moaning.... the roommate said that the nurse came in and woke them both up...now she is nutty but not confused.

I was confronted with her present by the Charge (a different charge) and I explained what I had done, what I had planned, etc.... he later took me aside and apologized and said to the effect she is a schemer.

To cap it off, no one answered the call light in the corner room near mine so I did....the guy wanted a drink - done....I leave the room, the light goes on again, oops, a mistake....I turn it off and as I leave the room, it trips again..... I discover he has turned the control over and laid it on his knee and the knee is just enough to set it off...I fix it and as I leave the room and walk down the hall, I hear the ***** say: " geez, can't she even fix a call light".

Thanks, needed to vent.......

Glad things are working out!

Now, this is what I call teamwork.

:coollook::coollook::coollook:

Isn't there a patient who needs a personal sitter in the room? Or, oh yeah, isn't that her aunt staying down on that other unit? What a nice nurse! Why, she doesn't leave that old woman's side! She sleeps a lot, though...

In plain view? I like that. It will only work until she starts to smell.:coollook:

Specializes in Psych.

Every lab has a autoclave, some are smaller than others, so if your lab has one of the smaller ones you just have to burn them in shifts.

why bother hiding the body? If she's a lazy one, just stick her in a chair and no one will notice that's she's dead for months. Oh yea, put her by a vent. lol:D

Specializes in Oncology/Haemetology/HIV.
You know what they say:

Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies!!:D

Actually for some of us...

"Friends bail you out of jail. Real friends are sitting right beside in the jail cell, saying, Man, that was really cool!"

(spoken as someone that got in a "little"(nonjailed) trouble in NYC and now gets flagged at the airport from then to eternity)

Several Thoughts:

- Leave them in a bed, in an unused part of the facility. What's to say transport didn't drop them off there by accident.

- Ever seen "Sweeny Todd". Non of the staff ever actually have time to eat in that brand new cafeteria, anyway.

- In central Florida, every back yard is near a lake or a sinkhole - take your pick. Not to mention the deserted phosphate mines, that are now radioactive.

- Given that the buzzards in the neighborhood, are eating parts of the roof, well..... - Unfortunately they also regurgitate frequently to feed the young and that COULD be an issue.

- Anyone building a bridge, pouring a road, or a basement, thereabouts?

- Wheelchair them to the nearest jail, dump the body out and notify the media about the latest jail abuse scandel.

- Start whispering about the patient/family member that threatened "X". When "X" doesn't show up for a few days, someone will leak the rumor.

why bother hiding the body? If she's a lazy one, just stick her in a chair and no one will notice that's she's dead for months. Oh yea, put her by a vent. lol:D

And use a lot of room deodorizer. Of course she will have to be dusted off once in a while.

Specializes in ICU, SDU, OR, RR, Ortho, Hospice RN.

Nahhhhhhhh getting close to gardening time again.

Put her out as one of those scarecrows to keep the birdies away from the veggies LOL

Specializes in Tele, Infectious Disease, OHN.

We used to talk about the merits of a bathtub in a field filled with nitric acid....Seriously there are some people who are really good at pushing buttons. Hope she has settled down or changed careers.

Nahhhhhhhh getting close to gardening time again.

Put her out as one of those scarecrows to keep the birdies away from the veggies LOL

Great idea. Put the body to good use.

Specializes in LTAC/ICU/CCU.

brav0 4 u! it s0undz az u handled da situati0n appr0priate n pr0fessionally:} n my experience, nursez like nurse ratchet, lack self-c0nfindence n r ntimidated by nursez such az urself! but i definetly understand ur frustrati0n!

Specializes in NICU.

- Ever seen "Sweeny Todd". Non of the staff ever actually have time to eat in that brand new cafeteria, anyway.

That's what I was thinking. Everyone's always complaining about hospital food, I doubt anyone would notice...

Specializes in most of them.

You would have to find a stretcher and leave her on the elevator. ;)

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