If anyone reads this...

Nurses Relations

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I am a new grad nurse and I guess this is T -3 months until I am a McDonald's employee. I do not know why I feel set-up to fail right now. I read a lot of these posts and take it... personally. Like a time that I initiated CPR in a nursing home, but did not follow BLS guidlines because I assumed my coworkers were BLS certified as well... now I am the "bad guy". Like a time there was a tiered pain med plan ordered, which I determinately followed, but when I called for the charge RN -- instead of being messaged how I can improve I FEEL labeled as a "bad guy". Like the time I intentionally botched a job interview where I worked because 9+ nurses were simultaneously on "light duty" and multiple quits and management restructuring and I think of my self as a "bad guy" somehow. Like a time I didn't complete a trauma certification because I was scared again because of management restructuring and pessimistic talk and again I think of myself as a "bad guy". Like a time I soft-quit a charge position because isolation gear was not stocked and I saw a very unusual wasp a week before an employee told me he has a history of TB and I feel like a "bad guy". Like a time I LOOKED like a "bad guy" because I refused to sign blank medical documents. Like all the times I give jobs my best effort, and I DONT FEEL LIKE A "BAD GUY" I AM NOT ASHAMED, DO NOT FEEL GUILTY, AND EXPERIENCE NO PAIN RELATED TO MY TREATMENT AS A NURSE AT THIS TIME. This is an anoymous website and I have no anger at this time. I am hurt I am not in pain.

0 Votes
Specializes in OR, Nursing Professional Development.

You say you have no anger and are not in pain, but it certainly sounds like you do or there's something else going on. Taking anonymous posts on the internet personally is not healthy. Perhaps sitting down with a counselor to talk out your feelings would help?

11 Votes
Specializes in Stepdown . Telemetry.

Why do you feel like you are labeled “the bad guy” for sooo many incidents? That would mean the that all the people involved in those examples are out to get u. If its just a single person singling u out that is different, because that does happen...

but if u are feeling like everyone is against u, sorry to say it may be u. Some self reflection may be in order...

5 Votes
Specializes in Pediatrics, Pediatric Float, PICU, NICU.

Self reflection is a wonderful thing. Not just because often times we find that we have some fault in all of it, but ultimately because we realize the only thing we can control is ourselves.

4 Votes

Ok, guys thank you I guess. But given the scenarios that I mentioned, would you have done something differently?

Like would you work at a facility that did not have any isolation PPE provided in the facility? Maybe your answer is yes, but I do not think that every nurses' answer would be yes. Also, would you feel comfortable signing blank forms, irrelevant of what type of document you were signing? I can imagine you saying, "dear a better response would have been 'this is a blank document, please fill it out and then I will sign'". I agree and already realize that would be a better reponse, but would you agree that in communication, some messaged is always implied? Is it ever appropriate to leave a job when the reason is that you do not feel supported by the team? I do not feel like that is ever appropriate or helpful, but that is still how I fell whether that is right or not.

And what is a better way to communcate that some actions/inactions do not help me to feel valued or appreciated as a team member? Rose Queen, I do appreciate that you recognize that I am in emotional distress and need some type of talk therapy/ counseling. I will take this opportunity to share with you that I frequently have met with counselors, and overall they have all recommended that social support is much more valuable than speaking with someone who is strictly in communcation with me as an outside professional. That is why I am here at this forum speaking with all of you in the necessary and helpful profession of nursing.

0 Votes

And kaylee, I do not feel like a bad guy. I feel like I have been in scenarios that patients could have recieved better treatment. But at the end of the day, I am still just one member of a team.

0 Votes
Specializes in Community health.

I will second the idea that you need to talk all of this out, in person, with a therapist or counselor. They will be able to help you sort out all of these many experiences and you can form a plan for how to handle such things going forward. Best of luck.

0 Votes
Specializes in Psych, Corrections, Med-Surg, Ambulatory.

I think part of the problem is you keep getting jobs in crappy facilities - it's hard to weed through them when you're starting out. Then there is the added challenge of sorting legitimate feedback vs just having crap dumped on you. That is a new grad challenge made more complicated by working in poorly run facilities with high turnover and much finger-pointing. And even in a decent facility, it's not unusual to spend the first year or so feeling like the chronic bad guy. It gets better as you develop competence and confidence.

I do agree that you sound angst-ridden enough to talk to a counselor. Unfortunately, those may need weeding through as well. It seems like a pathetic cop out to tell you that you just need more socialization.

Worst case scenario: what if you do actually end up working at McDonald's for awhile? It wouldn't be the worst thing. But it likely won't come to that. Keep your head down and keep plugging along. And maintain your high principles. Eventually the sun breaks through the clouds and you're in a better position to make your next move. Hang in there.

1 Votes

Thank you for the response, TriciaJ.

1 Votes
On 1/21/2020 at 9:55 AM, FloForLyfe said:

Like would you work at a facility that did not have any isolation PPE provided in the facility?

No.

On 1/21/2020 at 9:55 AM, FloForLyfe said:

Also, would you feel comfortable signing blank forms, irrelevant of what type of document you were signing?

Absolutely not.

On 1/21/2020 at 9:55 AM, FloForLyfe said:

Is it ever appropriate to leave a job when the reason is that you do not feel supported by the team?

Of course.

On 1/21/2020 at 9:55 AM, FloForLyfe said:

And what is a better way to communcate that some actions/inactions do not help me to feel valued or appreciated as a team member?

Don't rely upon employers to make you feel personally valued. When you rely on employers for such things, you're one business decision away from being devastated, all day, every day. Cultivate mutually-caring and mutually-invested personal relationships instead. Employer relationships are not personal relationships. Pick a different bar by which to judge your employer. A good one is "safe" and another good one is "generally fair/ethical" If they are not safe and/or not generally fair and ethical, they are not a good employer.

3 Votes

Also, either with a professional or starting on your own, begin to shore up your own self-esteem.

You have to start thinking about things differently, including the way you think about yourself. Doing something like signing a form with your signature in your capacity as a professional simply because someone told you to or tried to intimidate you into doing it suggests that you don't even feel good enough about yourself to protect yourself from harm/danger. I am sorry to hear that if it is true.

I hope you will begin to see that you have inherent value as a human being. You have to realize and accept that most of the people you are dealing with don't have anything up on you. They are just humans trying to get through life, too, sometimes not taking very ethical or pleasant routes. Don't wait until you are in despair to stand up for yourself. Now you are despairing and so are willing to work at McD's--your mindset always should be that you would rather do X (work at McD's) than some terribly wrong thing, and that you would rather do X than accept the very poor treatment you are currently being dealt. Right now you're in the frame of mind where you believe that if you were to think strong like that, then you are simply fated to end up working at X. But I'm telling you the secret is that when you have the right mindset you will get screwed with a LOT less, and therefore it will be much less likely that you'll have to actually worry about working at X.

To some extent the way people treat us is related to the way we tell them they can treat us and the way we allow them to.

2 Votes

I hope you know that I was being snarkey when I said I would work be working at McDonald's soon. Thank you JKL33.

I am really appreciative of the responses in general.

I have copied and pasted a reply to a private message I recieved to demonstrate that your feedback is helping me shift my mindset:

"I think [administration cares] about nurses sticking around only if they have the right attitude, and not having melt-downs over [and resurgent feelings from] a bad memory?!?!" (referring to my current job)

"Administration's job is to attend to nursing/staffing needs. Nurses' job is to help the patient feel safe. Radiology does radiology and I know nothing about that."

1 Votes
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