I am the worst person ever.

[bicuspidball]

I was taking care of a 98 year old man who had a Cholecystostomy tube. While draining the mans chole bag I let one rip. He looked around and said "Ugh what smells so bad?"...Yep you guessed it, I blamed it on the chole bag. I am not proud of what I did.

[KThurmond]

Shoot, working with peds I ALWAYS let them take the fall. Babies and little boys are the more believable culprits. My husband has shamed me for it, but I say it's fair game.

When I was a cashier I had a customer blame it on the baby that was around the corner

[VivaLasViejas, ASN, RN]

I'm a terrible person too. In the months before my gallbladder finally gave up the ghost, I had THE most awful gas problem and it always liked to kick up its heels at the most inopportune times...like at work on a med/surg floor. Fortunately, there was usually an easy patient to blame it on---dementia patients and GIs were perfect---and of course there was the occasional empty room where I could go and drop a few backdoor bouquets. Thank goodness it all resolved when I had my lap chole!

[Karou]

This thread just made my night!!

[martymoose, BSN, RN]

drop a few backdoor bouquets.

never heard that one before LOL

[VivaLasViejas, ASN, RN]

Raising four kids, I employed a boatload of different terms for that particular function: air muffins, breeze biscuits, backdoor bouquets, rump burgers, poots, blowing the butt trumpet, putt-putt---at the time, I just didn't want them to use the word 'fart'. I learned quickly that it did no good to forbid it because it was my go-to word whenever someone made a smell: "Good lord, who farted??!!"

[linzjane88]

I work on L&D. A few years back a particularly spunky crew was working together. It was time for a delivery so the labor nurse was at the bedside , doctor at the perineum, and baby nurse standing at the counter reviewing the chart before delivery. The inner curtain was semi pulled but the door was wide open as another nurse was coming down the hallway and decided it would be funny to point her butt inside the doorway and let *just a tiny fart* in the direction of the baby nurse (because of the curtain only baby nurse had a view of the farter). Well, it wasn't a tiny fart by any stretch. Apparantley everyone paused and mentally started blaming others in the room. Dr. thought it was the baby nurse, Labor nurse thought it was the Dr, and who knows what the poor patient and her husband thought.

[Fancypants09]

I'm a new grad and just got hired onto a surgical unit. Thanks to all you fine nurses, I now know the med room will be my designated place for "backdoor bouquets".

[n8leagr8]

Was not aware that my fellow nurses had such farming skills. Your crop dusting game is clearly on point.

That being said, I have never/would never do such a thing, and you should all be asshamed of yourselves.

[MaudKennedy]

Hum... That doesn't harm anyone I think more disturbing actually nurses are not expected to have the most basic bodily fonctions to the point they're ashamed if that happens.

[sailornurse]

I used to work with a CNA that would always wander by a certain resident's room to drop an air biscuit whenever she needed to. Totally blamed it on "Dorothy" and it was completely believable.

Oh, "Air Biscuit" I love it, can we add this to AN Favorite Phrases? Acute HD, Far says you are in charge of the Fav Phrases. Please?

[EyeheartNursing_RN]

I literally busted out laughing! No shame my friend better out than in.

[shaneb9]

There's nothing wrong with that :) "whoever is without sin cast the first stone".

Well I just threw a stone at you