I was slapped by a doctor!

justme1972 · Jun 25, 2008

My only question is this:

I would have gone STRAIGHT to the nurse at the highest level that was on charge and said very, very clearly: Either that physician is asked to leave or I am calling the police...which is it going to be.

Why didn't you do that?

When a doctor gets physically violent, that is where I draw the line.

Do you think the hospital would have extended you the same courtesy...heck no they wouldn't.

Don't minimize what is clearly an ASSAULT!!!!

woody62, RN · Jun 25, 2008

Unfortunately, both as students and as staff members we are schooled to accept abuse, be it from another staff member for a patient. I understand why you did not file a police report. But I doubt that this physician will end his bad behavior. His hitting you is only another step in an on going pattern of physical abuse that he has been allowed to get away with, with very few negative consequences.

Woody:yeah:

jessiern, BSN, RN · Jun 25, 2008

My only question is this:
I would have gone STRAIGHT to the nurse at the highest level that was on charge and said very, very clearly: Either that physician is asked to leave or I am calling the police...which is it going to be.
Why didn't you do that?

Because she, like you would probably have been, was in shock by the situation. It is so easy for all of us to say what they would have done placed in the same situation-but until we are there, we don't really know.

I don't mean to personally single you out, yours is just the most recent post with the message of "If I were you...". Let's cut her a little slack, and remember that she is the nurse that has to live with the consequences of the decision she makes. She has to do what let's her sleep at night.

Just like a few weeks ago when I posted about my problems with management, I was told time and time again to quit. I just don't see that as an option, unless things get much worse. I value the people I work with too much. She may feel the same way, and fear losing her position-a very real concern in my opinion if she pushes this. The hospital is not going to appreciate her going to the police with this-whether she is in the right or not. She has to make that decision, not us.

:redpinkheSo basically, let's support her. Don't try to make her feel "wimpy" if she doesn't do what we think she should. :redpinkhe

s_david_a · Jun 25, 2008

Hold your head up high after this--the most important thing you can do for yourself and for other nurses is keep your dignity--no jerk who doesn't know how to control himself can take that away!

I really hope you pursue this as far as you can, not just for your sake, but even for his sake, and especially for the nurses and doctors he has worked with... You have been put in a difficult position where you can make a significant difference in peoples lives by not hiding in shame... This man was rude, assaultive, demeaning, and toxic to a work environment. OF COURSE he said he was just kidding--he's a smug jerk! That's what smug jerks do. They abuse and then act like the victim is the problem. Don't be a victim--be the dignified professional **WHO YOU ARE** and don't allow him to get away with this!

:yeah:You're doing great! Stand your ground personally no matter what happens corporately or legally--no one deserves to be treated that way. And, you've shown a lot of strength to overcome your anxieties as the newby and face this for what it is... Keep us up-to-date!

We're all behind you! :up:

kharing · Jun 25, 2008

CluelessRN81, you handled everything perfectly!!!

I think you handled yourself well - regardless of the final outcome. Whether the man is fired or sent to counseling....it isn't your issue. Learn your craft and put this whole thing behind you - I would consider the whole messy ordeal over.

Congratulations!

SharonH, RN · Jun 25, 2008

Ease back guys! This girl is a new nurse, probably worried about her job, etc. I am sure she would appreciate any advice you can give her, but making her feel worse isn't going to help anything.

We're frustrated, okay? No one is out to make her feel bad but poor nurse-physician relationships is a serious issue that affects nurse morale and patient safety and most of us are just sick to death of abusive behavior. It's one thing to deal with attitudes and verbal abuse but here someone has so clearly stepped over the line and to think that he is going to get away with it is just infuriating. I hate to see someone allow themselves to be victimized and yes, it does affect the rest of us because when physicians are allowed to get away with it once it emboldens the rest of them.

And for those who think that some of us don't know what we would have done in that situation, I can tell you this: I don't tolerate physical abuse from anyone, never have never will. Not from the man in my life, not from friends or strangers and certainly not on the job. So when I write that there would have been serious repercussions on my part, you can be assured that is what I meant.

loricatus · Jun 25, 2008

i don't mean to personally single you out, yours is just the most recent post with the message of "if i were you...". let's cut her a little slack, and remember that she is the nurse that has to live with the consequences of the decision she makes. she has to do what let's her sleep at night.
being new, she is not aware of the politics going on behind her back. that is where we can help. we all know that if he was already suspended with pay, administration is going to try and make this go away & he will be back. for her to be able to live with the consequences of her decision, she needs to well informed, first
just like a few weeks ago when i posted about my problems with management, i was told time and time again to quit. i just don't see that as an option, unless things get much worse. i value the people i work with too much. she may feel the same way, and fear losing her position-a very real concern in my opinion if she pushes this. the hospital is not going to appreciate her going to the police with this-whether she is in the right or not. she has to make that decision, not us.
hate to say this, but most likely her position is in jeopardy no matter what she does. no, i take that back, if she makes this public, her position is probably more secure. the way management and administration usually handle things like this is to make her disappear for cause [contrived] after a period of making her feel safe and secure. she is a liability for them just by being a victim. nd, i will bet that this is not the first time this is happened. it is probably an ongoing problem that needs to be stopped.
:redpinkheso basically, let's support her. don't try to make her feel "wimpy" if she doesn't do what we think she should. :redpinkhe

i am sorry, but i cannot agree with you on this. no one should allow themselves to be abused (especially physically). this situation reeks of the abuse pattern & the only way to stop it is to take a stand and have her feel within herself that she will never tolerate being abused by anyone.

she has been given the opportunity, through this occurence, to grow emotionally and as a nurse. although she never asked for it to happen to her, it has. now, she has to make a decision that will affect the rest of her adult life (both professionally and personally). her decision will also affect a lot of people unknown to her.

she does need to know that if she does nothing to stop him, when she has the chance, he may hurt others-if he isn't already home taking out his frustration out on his family. she does have a responsibility to help herself and others through this unfortunate situation.

she stands a good chance, if she burries her head in the sand to make it go away, of losing the job she is trying to hold onto. we all know the games administration play and the willingness of most management to protect themselves over the victim. this is why we have a legal system in place to handle situations like this. this is why there are whistleblower laws. trust me, they are counting on her being a whimp. she should surprise them and stand up for herself & maybe she will gain respect from those who are counting on her to do the right thing.

jessiern, BSN, RN · Jun 25, 2008

i am sorry, but i cannot agree with you on this. no one should allow themselves to be abused (especially physically). this situation reeks of the abuse pattern & the only way to stop it is to take a stand and have her feel within herself that she will never tolerate being abused by anyone.
she has been given the opportunity, through this occurence, to grow emotionally and as a nurse. although she never asked for it to happen to her, it has. now, she has to make a decision that will affect the rest of her adult life (both professionally and personally). her decision will also affect a lot of people unknown to her.
she does need to know that if she does nothing to stop him, when she has the chance, he may hurt others-if he isn't already home taking out his frustration out on his family. she does have a responsibility to help herself and others through this unfortunate situation.
she stands a good chance, if she burries her head in the sand to make it go away, of losing the job she is trying to hold onto. we all know the games administration play and the willingness of most management to protect themselves over the victim. this is why we have a legal system in place to handle situations like this. this is why there are whistleblower laws. trust me, they are counting on her being a whimp. she should surprise them and stand up for herself & maybe she will gain respect from those who are counting on her to do the right thing.

i would like to point out that she has stepped forward, and brought this to the attention of the hospital admin. i wasn't suggesting that she "bury her head" and pretend it never happened. and while, yes, i do agree going futher with the situation is needed, we can't force her to do so, nor can we belittle her for not doing so. all we can do is encourage, and support her with whatever she decides. i was simply trying to poing out that some of the posts were quite harsh, and imo she doens't need that at this time.

classicaldreams · Jun 25, 2008

. . . SHE DOES HAVE A RESPONSIBILITY TO HELP HERSELF AND OTHERS THROUGH THIS UNFORTUNATE SITUATION. . . .

She has no responsibility to others here!

It is easy for you to tell her to prosecute to the fullest extent. I find that lacking in responsibility in itself. Her actions will have ramifications. Let her decide for herself.

Classicaldreams

Ima Nurse · Jun 25, 2008

This thread brought me out of a very long lurking period!

I agree with the others who have said that the M.D. most likely did this to the OP because she is a fresh, inexperienced nurse. I don't care where he is from, he IS IN the United States now and hitting other people is not acceptable.

OP, please keep us updated and good luck to you. I'm so sorry this happened to you. Hang in there.

Rnandsoccermom · Jun 25, 2008

Coming in late here.....OP you did the right thing. Every hospital has a policy on touching another employee without their permission. He is in more trouble than you think he is in, this is all required by OSHA. You have the right to feel safe at work according to them.

sissiesmama, ASN, RN · Jun 25, 2008

Ease back guys! This girl is a new nurse, probably worried about her job, etc. I am sure she would appreciate any advice you can give her, but making her feel worse isn't going to help anything.

I agree that the OP is a victim and the actions of the physician are intolerable, but thinking back 17 years, I wouldn't have felt comfortable calling the police either. but now I wouldn't think twice. If I knew then what I know now... Just my opinion.

Anne:twocents: