I see a difference. Is it a coincidence?

Corvette Guy · Oct 27, 2005

Howdy Gents!
I've worked in the gov't for 15 years and have decided to head into nursing. It was a decision that was a few years in the making. My wife has a few more years in the gov't than I do (she's an engineer) and thanks to her income, we can afford to send me to school for my BSN. I made this decision even though I've read many, many, many posts that talk about nurses eating their young. I absolutely hate that expression by the way! That said, I haven't seen the same number of complaints being generated by the men. Most seem more satisfied in their nursing careers than the women.
My question is, do you guys FREQUENTLY have similar problems with fellow nurses? I mean, we all have run-ins with co-workers every now and then. Hell, EVERY office setting or job environment will have that. But it just seems 10x worse in the nursing environment.
I've had fleeting thoughts about dropping nursing and going into a different career (Financial advisor maybe), but I've never run in fear before from anything I've wanted to do, so why start now? Right? I figure if I can walk off of Parris Island with a smile on my face and the Eagle, Globe and Anchor on my uniform, I can do anything.
SFi

OORAH Jarhead! :wink2:

I was 6334/6314 from 1980-1988 [F-4 Phantom Aircraft Elect Tech/Com Nav Tech]. Did more, or less the same as a civilian for a few years, then went to college for a second career in the health care field; Associate Applied Science in Surgical Technology '95, Assoc. Applied Science in Nursing '98, Bachelor Science in Nursing '04. Oh yea, back in the military after 15 yrs, direct commission 1LT USAR Nurse Corps 2003.

Anyway, what was the question? :lol2:

teeituptom, BSN, RN · Oct 27, 2005

Howdy Gents!
I've worked in the gov't for 15 years and have decided to head into nursing. It was a decision that was a few years in the making. My wife has a few more years in the gov't than I do (she's an engineer) and thanks to her income, we can afford to send me to school for my BSN. I made this decision even though I've read many, many, many posts that talk about nurses eating their young. I absolutely hate that expression by the way! That said, I haven't seen the same number of complaints being generated by the men. Most seem more satisfied in their nursing careers than the women.
My question is, do you guys FREQUENTLY have similar problems with fellow nurses? I mean, we all have run-ins with co-workers every now and then. Hell, EVERY office setting or job environment will have that. But it just seems 10x worse in the nursing environment.
I've had fleeting thoughts about dropping nursing and going into a different career (Financial advisor maybe), but I've never run in fear before from anything I've wanted to do, so why start now? Right? I figure if I can walk off of Parris Island with a smile on my face and the Eagle, Globe and Anchor on my uniform, I can do anything.
SFi

So what are you worried about

Thunderwolf, MSN, RN · Oct 27, 2005

Howdy Gents!
I've read many, many, many posts that talk about nurses eating their young. I absolutely hate that expression by the way! That said, I haven't seen the same number of complaints being generated by the men. Most seem more satisfied in their nursing careers than the women.
My question is, do you guys FREQUENTLY have similar problems with fellow nurses? I mean, we all have run-ins with co-workers every now and then. Hell, EVERY office setting or job environment will have that. But it just seems 10x worse in the nursing environment.
SFi

I've cut down a little on his post. I think what he is asking is...is it really that bad...even for the guys in the nursing trenches..do we eat our own young as well?...or are we the ones being eaten? I think that is what he is asking.

rogramjet · Oct 28, 2005

We still have run-ins with nurses, especially older ones who feel we don't belong, but it doesn't happen very often. I think we just don't let ourselves get eaten as easily as the ladies. We are more apt to stick up for ourselves. The whole trick for any nurse is to not let yourself get eaten. If someone barks at me, I bark back, which is why I will never make it to management, which is fine with me.

Tweety, BSN, RN · Oct 28, 2005

Nursing is a high stress environment and wherever people are involved there's going to be conflict in such an environment.

The reason you don't hear as many males make complaints, is simply there are not many males in nursing.

Also, while it's best to know what you're getting into, try not to let the negativity overwhelm you. The message boards are where people express frustrations and problems, so it seems like that's all nursing is about.

There are serious problems in nursing and it's high stress for both males and females equally. I've been lucky and haven't seen "nurses eating their young", so I'm not thinking that males have it any easier in that department than females.

fergus51 · Oct 28, 2005

I'm a young woman and I don't get eaten at work. Many people come to this place to vent, so I wouldn't be too quick to give up on nursing from reading a bb.

ldymeg · Oct 29, 2005

I see a differance although I don't believe it's intentional on the experienced nurses' part. We're all so overworked, over stressed, and in attempting to get our own assignments complete that sometimes we seem unapproachable, keep our heads "to the task" ect. In our facility, our Nurse Manager insists we experienced nurses "hold the newbie's hands" yet there's not enough money in the budget to allow an extra staff member to float to assist the "newbie". Add to these facts how the acuity has risen. The result? We have to take a higher number of patients while they take the lighter load yet we are still expected to be a resource to the newbies. We have a House Supervisor and Resource nurse, but they are so busy filling beds, doing QA, and putting fires out that the entire nursing staff goes home exhausted!!!

Thunderwolf, MSN, RN · Oct 29, 2005

Also, while it's best to know what you're getting into, try not to let the negativity overwhelm you. The message boards are where people express frustrations and problems, so it seems like that's all nursing is about.

I second that thought.

Corvette Guy · Oct 30, 2005

I've cut down a little on his post. I think what he is asking is...is it really that bad...even for the guys in the nursing trenches..do we eat our own young as well?...or are we the ones being eaten? I think that is what he is asking.

Well, since you put it that way.

IMHO, most male nurses are not passive aggressive, which I prefer. Seems to me most female [NOT ALL] nurses are passive agressive, plus will talk behind your back. Most male nurses will say it like it is, if you know what I mean, to another without talking negatively behind there back. IMHO, being passive agressive for women is an innate trait. Yet, I still enjoy very much working around female nurses, which most are very passionate about there work.

Dayray, RN · Oct 30, 2005

It's hard to genralize, I have worked in places where nurses do eat their own. I've seen both female and male new grads burst into tears under the iron fist of a burned out charge nurse. I've seen places where men are judged more harshly and places where they are able to sqeek by more easly.

A couple reasons I think you have seen less complaints from men about not getting along with their co-workes are.

1. As guys we tend not to want to sound like cry babies, women are encouraged to vent their feeling but when ever i do I hear my dad's voice telling me to suck it up and stop crying. So your less likely to hear or read about bad situations a guy has experanced.

2.The second reason is that our cultural norms allow us to cut people of the opposite gender more slack. There are things that a person of the opposite sex can say and be tottaly unoffensive that would be seen as confrontaional if said by someone of the same sex.

There are allot of things that women can say to me and I wont even give it a second thought yet if another guy said it to me I would be pretty ticked off.

I have some family members that work in the prison system and they say that male guards do better with female inmates and vice versa. there are less assults on guards of the opposite sex and inmates tend to be more compliant.

It's a by product of our cultural gender roles.

GregCP, RN · Nov 7, 2005

Yea, the statement is well known, because its so true. They do eat their young....and it is generalized into these certain aspects: education (new grad), age, and seniority (just got the job). Im a new grad RN, 26, going into a workplace, where Im the newbie. My feelings....Im petrified! All the aspects of being "young" is against me....and I feel like im throwing myself into a pool of hungry sharks! Why this exists...idk. Maybe its because they, too, once gone through the same ordeal, and want to pay back or have their turn for redemption from their own experiences as a newbie.

But being a male nurse, i think the hazzing or initiation wouldnt be as severe as if a new young, new grad, female. Like what others have addressed, the stigma of our gender shows that we handle things differently...in terms of being direct, not afraid to stand up for ourselves, and being firm. Whereas, if female, people wouldnt be afraid to do a tap dance around her.