I passed... (long detailed story)

[Nuieve]

5 months of 10-12 hours/day of studying, thousands of test questions, countless hours of worrying.... It's all behind now. These past months were like a blur to me, I don't remember them, I had no life, was studying every single free minute, the only thing I was thinking about was the NCLEX. I only spent like 2 hours/day for fun, late at night, after 11 pm to watch a couple of my TV shows on DVD. I got so addicted to having the book on my knees, that it really feels weird now when I look at it, I still want to grab it and read it, it became such an integral part of my everyday life that I feel some kind of emptiness now that I don't need to use it.

I read Saunders Comprehensive 3Ed cover to cover maybe 10 times during this time, I feel like I know it by heart, I remember each disease as where on the page it is located... but I still don;t know all the symptoms, all the interventions and little facts about them. I did well over 10 000 questions - from the book itself, Kaplan, Springhouse, Delmar, NSCBN course... The last week I've been doing Kaplan I got my scores in between 70-79, it seemed very easy. I did study the day before the test against all advices, although I was so anxious that all I could do was review my meds and short notes (I would write down small easy to forget facts while reading the book and answering questions, for example, short descriptions of rare procedures and diseases, some small facts like normal height/weight for kids of all ages, major symptoms of certain diseases, connection between certain symptoms and possible causes etc.). Meds was my major concern. All I managed to do was just learn most common meds names in Saunders book as to what type they belong and that was all. I only was able to remember a few side effects of few meds except for those that are intensification of their therapeutic use (for example, benzodiazepines make calm you down, so logically if you take too much of them you'll get superdrowsy, lethargic, and so on), I didn't know if you should take each with food or not, drug interactions etc and other important facts... I just couldn't get them into my head no matter how hard I tried. My nightmare scenario was (after hearing many people complain about insane number of meds questions on the test) that after each successful question on the test I would be given a med q, get it wrong and my level would never go up. Other than that I felt pretty much confident, I hoped that I would not get too many med questions.

I was mentally ok and relaxed till the day before exam. On Friday I woke up with my adrenalin pumpin, I had increased HR and BP pressure all day, HA too. So I checked my notes, meds (tried to learn a few, but failed, only realized that I can't even remember those I knew the day before). I was prepared that I wouldn't be able to eat anything, so I bought my fav food, hoping it would get me through this time - a bunch of pizzas, this was the only thing that I was capable of eating on Friday and Saturday (the day of exam). I slept ok through the last night. I woke up, ate my pizza (just a bit, couldn't stomach more), grabbed my ATT (I had 5 more copies in my car) and drove to the test center. I was driving really slow through the empty streets and singing improvised songs about what a beautiful day that was and how scared I felt the whole way there, the sun was shining bright, I was kind of dreamy and it all felt surreal. The center was only about 15 min away from home, so I got there pretty fast. I walked in, had my photo and fingerprints taken, ID checked, then they asked me to come in, I had my fingerprint checked again I think, they asked me what computer number I would like 1 or 2. I felt 1 would be bad for me and a strong urge to pick 2, so I asked for 2. What happened next I vaguely remember. I do remember that while sitting there I was mildly anxious. I heard many people stating that it was no big deal, the questions were similar to Kaplan or even Saunders... well, they weren't for me! I never quite understood what people meant when they said "nothing could prepare me for it" untill I actually started doing the test. I think I got most of the questions of "nothing can prepare you for it" type. Of those that were more or less easy I got few diabetes q, 3 herbs (ironically, I forgot about my plan to review herbs few days about exam, and I knew I'd get them). 2 qs were about the same herb, and I knew it, one I just forgot (even though I read about it many times before). I kept getting "priority", "best intervention", "initial intervention" questions... but again, what worried me was that I almost never got more than 2 of these in a row. I thought because I got a simple q after a priority one I must had answered it wrong and was put back a level below. I did get about 10 meds questions, but surprisingly these were the ones I more or less remembered, except for one, which offered me two side effects which of course I didn't know, so I hadto guess. Before question 30 or so I wasn't worrying much, I knew the last 30 or so would be crucial, so when I started getting simple questions after priority/initial/best ones after about q30 I thought I was answering them all wrong. I was afraid I needed to constantly answer at least 2-3 of them in a row right to keep me above the passing level, but couldn't do anything about it and kept getting normal q after 1 or 2 priority ones. Every time I'd get a simple q (like teaching, which I think just an easy way to word simple questions) I'd panick, my HR would go up, and every time I'd get any with the word "priority, best or initial" written in bold, I would relax and make a sigh of relief. I knew I got the last two questions right, and they were priority (even though very easy). By the time I got to 70, I was thinking "please shut down at 75!! please shut down!!! pleeaase!!!" and before hitting the "next" button after checking the answer on 75th question, I took a deep breath and... the screen went gray. Phewwww! Yay!!! What a relief! This very moment I knew I did it. I completed the survey, got out, got my fingerprint scan again, grabbed my possessions and left.

I felt even more dreamy driving home thinking "could this mean I won't have to open my Saunders book anymore?". I couldn't even imagine it. How so? Am i finally free? How could it be? It's what life is all about after all - to read Saunders book cover-to-cover forever, isn't it? I came home thinking about few questions that I might have got wrong. I had an urge to look into the book, but I resisted. Yesterday, I was going to sleep and I was bargaining, I promised to I don't know whom, that I won't deliberately look into the books for the answers if I get "pass", which would make my answers possibly right (magically) and my chances of passing would be higher. And I did get "pass" this morning, and I won't look for the answers as promised, even though it might seem stupid.

I don't feel anything right now. I haven't digested my success yet. And I know it will take a long while before I finally accept the fact that I DID IT!!!

[fultzymom]

:smiley_aa:yelclap::w00t:

:balloons:CONGRATULATIONS!!!:balloons:

[NEsoon2beRN]

:balloons::smiley_aa:yelclap:

u did it!

[Nuieve]

Thanks!!!

[azor]

Such an amazing experience and narrations.Congrats.I am soo happy for you that all your worries is now bebind you with that two letter initials [RN]by your name.HURRRRAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Azor

[michaRN, RN]

wow!what a relief?isn't?good for you...Congratulations!!!!

[Silverdragon102, BSN]

congratulations :balloons:

[chipay2brn]

:balloons:congratulations, new rn:balloons:

[Tweety, BSN, RN]

Congratulations!

[pagandeva2000, LPN]

I remember communicating with you when we were discussing the mistakes that the Saunders resources had; I am so happy that this is behind you, now!! You beat the demon and now, the real work begins. Good luck in your new career and I hope to continue seeing your posts!

[Nuieve]

I remember communicating with you when we were discussing the mistakes that the Saunders resources had; I am so happy that this is behind you, now!! You beat the demon and now, the real work begins. Good luck in your new career and I hope to continue seeing your posts!

Yes, I smashed the demon to pieces And I'm not going from here, I love this place and can't even think about leaving it!!!:1luvu:

[pagandeva2000, LPN]

Yes, I smashed the demon to pieces And I'm not going from here, I love this place and can't even think about leaving it!!!:1luvu:

:pumpiron: You GO, CHAMP!!!!!!!:balloons::balloons: