I need to switch preceptors

Jenni811, RN · Jul 25, 2011

the way i see it as, this is the REAL world now. This isn't nursing school, your not a student so you don't get to shadow. The first day you didn't shadow but you made up for it the second day. The third day you should have gotten your hands in there. Not saying take a full patient load, but definitely not "Shadow."

I remember when i got hired, they basically put you in a "bracket" to see where you fall and how long your orientation should be and what they should expect to see from you each week. It's kind of a list you follow. i fell in Bracket 2 (out of 4) Bracket 1 was where most people fell. Bracket 2 i fell in because i had experience as a CNA on the same floor i got hired as an RN. also did my Summer intern there. Anyway, because i fell in bracket 2 on my first day i was required to take my own patients. My preceptor was NOT there to baby me. we had 4 patients, my preceptor let me pick 1 or 2 as "mine to run the show" I challenged myself and took 2. I took the easiest of the 2 because i was still a new grad, it was still my first day.

Even in bracket 1 (which im guessing you would fall in) it is "shadow" only ONE day.

I'm not being mean but preceptors are NOT there to baby you. they are there to push you to your fullest.

My preceptor when i was an intern kinda "babied me" because she knew i was still a student and i was there to learn, not to become a staff RN that would be on my own in a eight weeks. my preceptor, now my "mentor", does the complete opposite of baby me. So you need to get out of that "student nurse" mind frame. Usually managers stick with the same preceptors, they are seasoned nurses they know what to do and they are prepared to get YOU ready to be on the floor.

personally, to me it sounds like you have a great preceptor who is trying to push you but still cares for your learning pace by asking what you want to do and what you feel comfortable with.

just my personal opinion on this

Jenni811, RN · Jul 25, 2011

and..to add, please keep in mind that every new nurse feels overwhelmed. I'm a registered nurse but technically a "nurse resident" since i'm still in the 1 year nurse residency program our hospital offers. Basically just means that not only are we on the floor, but we also meet with other nurse residents once a month and talk about our experiences/suggestions for each other. I describe it basically a support group for new grads!

I'm still assigned a Mentor, who was my preceptor when i started. I don't work the same as her always but it is just a person i can go to if i have issues, problems, questions whatever i need i can go to her.

so despite this being SUPER overwhelming right now, it will get better this i promise you!!! You will get it. I didn't read your entire post, just kinda skimmed but your preceptor sounds like someone who just wants to push you. If you feel your getting pushed to fast, let him/her know. Preceptors are great people, but they are not mind readers. it WILL COME! i just think you are a little overwhelemed right now

nohika · Jul 25, 2011

Thanks everyone, already woke up crying knowing that I have to work with her again. My manager replied to my email and said we can meet as soon as she gets back but in the mean time to contact the other woman filling in if my concerns are immediate, which they are. I am calling the other woman soon, when I can pull myself together, and ask to schedule a private meeting with her for maybe even today. I just feel I cant go in today, I feel like I'd rather die than go in and work with her again, I feel like I would feel so happy if I just said I quit (even though shed be happy about that but I dont even care). I feel slow, stupid, and incompetent around her. I make a bunch of mistakes and just feel Ill never get this if I stay with her. I would love to work with the other nurse I had but Ill take anyone else, ANYONE at this point. put me on a different shift even, I dont care just get me the hell out of there. This whole experience of starting work is scary already for a new grad like me and its the "cherry on top" *sarcasm* that I have to work with someone like this...I just know that whatever happens, I am not working with her for the whole period of training...hopefully by this week after speaking with the supervisor on hand, something can be worked out or I seriously feel like calling in sick if they need me to stay with her for a little longer before someone else is given to me. I already had doubts about nursing and they increase ten fold with every day I have to do this with this girl....thank you for you kind words and support, please pray that this meeting today goes well and that it can be fixed within the week or even today.

I agree with a lot of the other posts - you're a brand new nurse, you're going to be terrified, cry, whatever. I think you're projecting your own anxieties onto the preceptor - I also don't think she's as horrible as you make her out to be. She isn't dumping a full load onto you - she's giving you a couple patients and is there as a resource person. Btw, there's a couple things I don't like about this post...I know you're upset and all, but being mean and nasty and referring to your more-experienced preceptor as a "girl" probably isn't the best way to show respect. Which you should, even if you think she's the worst person on Earth - she has more experience than you and is also a living, breathing human being, which in general (not always) deserves your respect.

I also agree that you shouldn't need to shadow more than a day or two. You don't want to really learn her way of doing things - you want to learn your /own/, since they will work best for you. Shadowing is for students. You're a nurse now. If you have questions, ask. :) Best of luck.

Jenni811, RN · Jul 25, 2011

I agree with a lot of the other posts - you're a brand new nurse, you're going to be terrified, cry, whatever. I think you're projecting your own anxieties onto the preceptor - I also don't think she's as horrible as you make her out to be. She isn't dumping a full load onto you - she's giving you a couple patients and is there as a resource person. Btw, there's a couple things I don't like about this post...I know you're upset and all, but being mean and nasty and referring to your more-experienced preceptor as a "girl" probably isn't the best way to show respect. Which you should, even if you think she's the worst person on Earth - she has more experience than you and is also a living, breathing human being, which in general (not always) deserves your respect.
I also agree that you shouldn't need to shadow more than a day or two. You don't want to really learn her way of doing things - you want to learn your /own/, since they will work best for you. Shadowing is for students. You're a nurse now. If you have questions, ask. :) Best of luck.

Agreed. i don't think your preceptor is attempting to give you a hard time. I think you've just really closed yourself up to her and taking your frustrations/anxiety out on her. If you open up, give her a chance i think it will turn out great. She really does not sound like a "mean" preceptor... a tough one yes. But that is a good thing, you want that.

I really don't feel like you should have gone to your manager about this. it was not an emergency. This is something you could have talked with your preceptor about. "I think we may need to slow this down, i'm feeling a little overwhelmed" is all you have to say. She can't read your mind. How can she fix the problem if you don't give her the chance and instantly go crying to your manager about it??

gigglymo · Jul 25, 2011

You said in your original post that you aren't very confrontational. There's nothing wrong with that - some people just aren't. I DO think that this will probably be the first of many situations in nursing where it will be beneficial to both you AND your preceptor to speak up. If you haven't talked to the manager already, can you try sitting down and talking with your preceptor first? Can you tell her pretty much what you've told us - that you are not comfortable with how your first shifts with her went, what worked on the shifts you WEREN'T with her, and how you think the two of you could work together to make this work? I'm not advocating for sticking with a preceptor whom you really don't click with - but it sounds like you haven't sat down with her and been up-front about what's going on.

llg, PhD, RN · Jul 25, 2011

While I do think that you should be talking with an educator or manager about this -- and about possibly switching preceptors -- I am concerned about the severity of your reaction to something not going perfectly. You don't want to present yourself as someone who can't handle a little stress and as someone who freaks out every time things don't go exactly as you would like it to go. You need to demonstrate that you can roll with a few punches if you want to be seen as a desirable employee.

OK. I agree that your preceptor does not sound the greatest one in the world, but you should not expect to do a lot of shadowing on orientation. "Learning the basics" is what you went to nursing school for. You should be able to do a few basic skills during your first week.

Perhaps the best tack to take now would be to say, "I'm sorry, but we seem to have gotten off on the wrong foot. I wasn't prepared to take 4 patients on my first day and your asking me to do that really threw me off balance. How do we fix that now? How can we move forward now in a more productive way?"

Such an approach will take you much farther than accusations against your preceptor and other statements that show that this bump in the road has debilitated you. Doing things like calling in sick, making wild accusations, crying hysterically, etc. just demonstrate to everyone that you can't handle the job -- and you don't want to do that. What you should want is to "start over" with a preceptor who goes a little slower than your original preceptor did.

You want to be given a 2nd chance. So be sure to act like you deserve it and will be worth a little extra investment.

oklahoma~dreamin · Jul 25, 2011

While I do think that you should be talking with an educator or manager about this -- and about possibly switching preceptors -- I am concerned about the severity of your reaction to something not going perfectly. You don't want to present yourself as someone who can't handle a little stress and as someone who freaks out every time things don't go exactly as you would like it to go. You need to demonstrate that you can roll with a few punches if you want to be seen as a desirable employee.
OK. I agree that your preceptor does not sound the greatest one in the world, but you should not expect to do a lot of shadowing on orientation. "Learning the basics" is what you went to nursing school for. You should be able to do a few basic skills during your first week.
Perhaps the best tack to take now would be to say, "I'm sorry, but we seem to have gotten off on the wrong foot. I wasn't prepared to take 4 patients on my first day and your asking me to do that really threw me off balance. How do we fix that now? How can we move forward now in a more productive way?"
Such an approach will take you much farther than accusations against your preceptor and other statements that show that this bump in the road has debilitated you. Doing things like calling in sick, making wild accusations, crying hysterically, etc. just demonstrate to everyone that you can't handle the job -- and you don't want to do that. What you should want is to "start over" with a preceptor who goes a little slower than your original preceptor did.
You want to be given a 2nd chance. So be sure to act like you deserve it and will be worth a little extra investment.

^^^ :yeah: :yeah: :yeah: ^^^

Sorry to butt in here, I'm not even a nursing student, yet, but to the OP, can I ask how old you are? But I guess it doesn't matter. Just curious if this is your first "real job". I really mean no offense, so please don't misunderstand, but I feel you may have some growin up to do, which will only come with time and experience. JMHO. :cool:

MrsHijinx08 · Jul 25, 2011

It gets better. I promise, it does. I am fresh off of my orientation (going into my third week on my own), and I still feel overwhelmed and stressed, but it gets better with every shift that I work.

I think you should immediately contact whoever is standing in for your manager, and voice your concerns to her. It's not doing you any good to be with the original preceptor if it causes you this much stress and upset.

I do have to be honest though, and tell you that I think "shadowing" for longer than a day is a little excessive. I was hired on for night shift at my facility and during my orientation I did 2 weeks on the day shift and 4 weeks on nights with a preceptor. The very first day I was on they floor (with my day shift preceptor) I shadowed, and it was a great way to familiarize myself with the unit and their procedures. The second day I took two patients of my own, with the understanding that my preceptor was available to answer any questions that I might have or to assist me with anything I might not had experience with. There was also a broadcast over our unit phone system (we use Voceras), that there was a new orientee and if anything interesting or out of the ordinary were to arise to contact myself or my preceptor so that I could be a part of it (I did about a million IV starts, inserted foleys and NGs, etc.), in order to gain familiarity with these procedures while I had somebody with me.

The second week I moved up to taking three patients, the third week I took four, and so on. . . By the fifth week, I was managing an assignment of six patients with minimal help from my preceptor, and the last week was really just getting more comfortable with my own routine and figuring out what worked best for me.

Just hang in there, and good luck!

RNChristy · Jul 25, 2011

Anytime that I precepted new nurses (which were quite a few), we always gave them a few shifts to '"shadow" and assist with any skills; that is, starting IVs, NG tubes, Foleys, passing meds. During this time, my preceptees got to learn the routine of being on the floor. We did not ever throw them to the wolves, but made sure that they succeeded. Every new nurse that I precepted was ready for the time when it came and felt comfortable when orientation was over. I agree that if OP has not sat down with her preceptor and had an open discussion about her being overwhelmed, you do need to do that. If this has happened, then going to the manager to discuss a new preceptor would be a correct measure.

Christy, RN

nola1202 · Jul 25, 2011

I think the right preceptor can make you or break you when you are brand new to nursing or a specialty area. I never had the courage to ask for a different preceptor and just tried to hang in there and learn. As a new grad we were assigned to preceptors but our schedules never really matched despite being assured they would. (days off, meetings, overtime etc) This was a Godsend to me because some of the other nurses were much more relaxed and easy to learn from. I hope you find the preceptor that fits your personality and learning style. If not, chalk it up to experience andjust keep going, someday you can precept someone the way you wanted to be precepted.

bluebird123 · Jul 26, 2011

Hey there,

Ok I am new graduate nurse (just passed my boards...yippie!) I felt compelled to respond to this post. In my last semester of nursing school, during our "role transition" or senior preceptorship as some places call it, I dealt with a preceptor much like the one you have described.

I felt like there was nothing I could do right by her. I asked for input/suggestions after each shift....and after each shift I felt like the only criticism she gave me was negative. I wasn't going fast enough...I should be "running the show" by myself...as student...new to a very busy labor and delivery floor....it was safe to say I was terrified. So much so that I felt like you...I felt like I was screwing up little things...things that I KNEW how to do. I just felt like with her breathing over my shoulder at times I would freak out and get it all wrong. I did end up meeting with my instructor from school and tried to find a common ground with her.

I also requested to work with a few different nurses on that floor for a few shifts as I found our relationship not so beneficial to my learning. And a few nights...at 5 am...much to my disappointment in myself...I broke down crying. I was just SPENT. I felt like I was truly giving my all and it was never good enough. The other nurses on the unit said I was doing a fabulous job and to "just hang in there". During one particular bad night (after I had broke down crying) she said I was getting so upset because she thought she had...in her words "called my bluff"...no idea what she meant there. To be perfectly honest I thought that was a very unprofessional thing of her to say.

All that being said...I did find a way to end that rotation on a positive note. I finished strong, can pretty much stick an IV in any preggo with horrible veins (or at least give it an honest try a few good times!). It was not a good fit for her and I, but I CAN say I learned a hell of a lot from her. Our teaching/learning styles may not have meshed....but she is a GREAT nurse. I can say I would be lucky to have her by my side at any kind of an emergency situation. She just knows her stuff backwards and forwards. Which is why she probably went into precepting to being with.

I realize your situation is a bit different than mine because at the time I was still a student and was only with her for 7 weeks for my final senior rotation. I am assuming you would be with your preceptor for longer given it is your orientation...if you are at a place that has 6 month or longer "nurse residency" program.

I can only say this...do what is right for you and your learning style. And if that means switching preceptors after you have tried to find a common ground with this nurse than so be it. Try to not burn bridges with this nurse, as nasty as she may seem...she is a wealth of information. Its also awesome to look back and think...ha! I did it!

I had a hard time doing those final 170+ clinical hours with my nurse. But I know now for SURE that I will be one amazing nurse because of the sum of experiences I have had thus far. The good, the bad and the ugly.

Best of luck to you. Remember why you went into nursing to begin with. There will always be nurses, physicians, patients, family members that are hard to get along with, but it's up to you to decide how you let it affect you. You can do this. All the best.

-Jessica

katygw · Jul 26, 2011

Thank you for the replies,

Im sorry to anyone who thought I sounded disrespectful or that I was overreacting with regards to my preceptor..I in no way meant to sound like that...I just felt upset. And I really didnt have a shadow day to those of you saying there should only be one...the first day I was doing skills, procedures, documenting etc., second day the same, and third, and tonight. By "shadow" I guess I meant going around with her and doing the whole assignment TOGETHER, so I could get a feel for how things ran, how she communicated certain things to patients (regarding surgery, etc. because hey, I've never been on a surgical floor before!), etc...THAT I did not get with her which was a bad start. I love getting in there and doing things, like tonight I contacted the surgical PA regarding a post op patient, was terrified of calling providers but it was not bad, I jumped in and did it, and the nurse with me said what to have in front of me, etc. as I did so. The botton line was I just felt that I wasnt meshing with my original preceptor...this has nothing to do with her ability as a nurse and I know in hindsight she was trying to get me out there...but the ways she went about communicating with me about it were the things that upset me..the multiple comments about being slow and how youre behind, how its an easy assignment (which is her saying you shouldnt be stressed right now), and the infamous "why are you breathing like that?" after I sighed which was just...weird., etc...sure I understand if it was the 3rd week when I should be more autonomous and she was saying these things to help me tweak them for my own benefit...but she was just saying them to...I dont even know...scare me? I just thought on the first day and 3rd day that her making remarks like that were just setting me up for a bad experience...a new grad is slow, unsure of his/herself, and uses extra time for things...normal? yes...but I didn't feel like it was ever acceptable with her...and that upset me because it was only the first couple of days. She is a great nurse and has alot of insight and experience and I respect her for that, but I just didnt feel comfortable with her. I didnt feel that I was getting as much out of it as I shouldve been and that's what the most important thing about this whole issue is...because I want to be prepared to care for patients safely.

As for the meeting today it went well. I said how I just wasnt meshing and in no way was it personal, named a few examples that bothered me and said it'd be best if I could work with someone else. They were glad that I had brought it to their attention as soon as I did. One of them said she wouldve been unhappy if I had waited longer since that would ultimately take away from valuable training time and told me it took balls to step up and say something. They also said it was going on in the floor next door so I shouldnt feel that it doesnt happen to anyone else. They put me with who was available today which went well and I am starting to train with someone else later this week.

I know some of you said she meant well and was trying to help me but without a solid day of going with her with her whole assignment for at least one day...it negatively affected the following days...who knows maybe if she had given me a day to acclimate but still participate with her whole assignment for a whole shift I wouldnt feel uncomfortable about taking on 3 patients so soon (which she gave me...on my third day). And I never got any positive feedback which also upset me...at least a good job on the third night after trying with multiple patients wouldve been nice...Im not saying every little thing needs to be celebrated and told "good job"...but once and a while would be nice...I was just hearing negative and that was contributing to tearing me down on top of everything else going on.

I just had to do what was right for me because on the nights I have not been with her, I feel better about the shifts, I did things independently tonight but had the support I needed...I feel that when you have a good support behind you and you feel comfortable approaching him/her...you will be more prone to WANT to act independently, and that is what I want, what every new grad wants.

edit: I had tried telling her I would like to go with her for a day or half a day, maybe because she made me feel so uncomfortable I didnt say it as clearly but I did try to approach her about the issue..but it didnt change anything.