I need help for my mom ex Nurse

Asystole RN · Aug 8, 2016

Personally if I was in your position I would advise her to look into a financial planner. Sometimes banks offer their services but you can find an independent professional to go over her finances and give you guys a realistic assessment of where she stands and what she needs to do.

llg, PhD, RN · Aug 8, 2016

First of all, I am certainly sorry to read about your mother's unfortunate situation. You're right, she doesn't deserve to be poor in her retirement years.

To help her, you and your siblings are going to have to work together and get her the help she apparently needs.

1. Recognize that at least some of her problems and legal and financial -- not nursing. Does she have an attorney and/or a financial adviser that you can talk to. If not, you probably need to get at least an attorney. If, as you say, her former employer made mistakes, she may be able to sue them for the money they promised her. Consulting with an attorney will cost money, but hopefully, if you and your siblings all work together, you can raise the necessary money as a group.

2. As I said, if she really did get "shafted" by her employer, you may be able to take legal action. However, if your mother simply didn't save enough money for her retirement, you all may have to work together to see that her basic needs are met. That may mean having each of you contribute something regularly for her well-being. My father and my aunt each had to contribute money each month to support my grandmother in her old age because she simply didn't have enough savings to live on. That happens.

3. First, figure out if there is any way to get her more money (ex-employer, Social Security, etc.) ... and then develop a plan for her to live within those means (which may mean you and your siblings may have to share some of her costs.)

4. Does she have a primary health care provider (PCP)? That person might be able to tell you about resources in your area that might be able to help you with any health care needs -- or case management.

Hopefully, others will chime in with other recommendations. It is very sad when elderly people (and their families) realize that there just isn't enough money in savings to live the lifestyle they dreamed of living in retirement. When that happens, all you can do is re-group and make sure you are getting all the benefits she is entitled to, making the most of them, and then hope that family members will contribute to make up the shortfall.

Good luck to you and your family.

nutella, MSN, RN · Aug 8, 2016

Call elder services and see if they can help with figuring out some resources for example if she qualifies for Medicaid. Elder services is a great resource. The senior center can probably give you the local number to call.

Atl-Murse · Aug 8, 2016

Time for the 4 kids to step up and supplement that 1200. She took care of you time to return the care. If she had a paid for home, reverse mortgage might be an option

I am always care about lawyers and financial planner , they always looking to put their hands in your pocket

sttony · Aug 8, 2016

FIrst off I would like to thank you all for responding , we four are defiantly helping her for sure. The issue that were under is that we do believe that either A were not turning over every rock to see if there is more out there for her , or B she really got screwed. My mom came to this country when she was 22 (from Haiti) she saved all the money she made as a teacher (my father as well ) so she is great with money . I maybe described the situation wrong (again not as articulate as I believe myself to be ) . But I feel that she should be set and cushioned and this shouldn't be the end of her journey . She did put money into her retirement with her job and they railroaded her . I came here because I figured maybe someone else might have had the same experience, and again this could be it , but I want to know that I made all the effort that I could before giving up on the idea. I always though growing up that there was more to it when you get older .... and now it seems that there isnt ...well at least for her and her profession . I really do appreciate the time you guys are taking to help me out ... as far as an attorney she and a few of her associates have tried to see were they stand on that cause ... im still waiting for the result of those conversations. Im jumping the gun again to see if any other nurses who had retired had ever experienced this and is there a special program for nurses for after retirement . IM a graphic designer and I work freelance so im not really sure of all this insurance and all of that.. But my dad was an orderly and when he passed 1199 covered most of the insurance stuff ... so again she as a nurse I wouldnt see how its possible for her to be basically left to fend for herself. Thank you ahead of time

roser13, ASN, RN · Aug 8, 2016

Unfortunately, I don't think anything exists that is what you're looking for. There is no universal nursing fund for retirees. And since we don't exactly know what happened with your mom's retirement money, we can't give advice or speak from experience on that.

I think your best bet is following the very good advice that has been given in previous posts. If an attorney can help you get to the bottom of the "railroaded" issue, that would be well worth the attorney fees. We don't know where you live but if you Google Senior Center, X City/State or Elder Care, X City, you will likely find some resources.

Good luck to you and your family.

caliotter3 · Aug 8, 2016

One of my first supervisors returned to work three times during her retirement years (in her 70's) before she finally stopped working. She said that she needed the income because she did not get enough from social security to meet her expenses. If your mom is healthy enough to return to work, she could find work with a home care agency doing extended care for infants or small children (bedbound). Possibly she could get a night shift case where she could conceivably spend the night sitting in a rocker, mainly observing the child, while the parents sleep. Many times the parents do not want the nurse to disturb a stable, sleeping child except to change the diaper at the beginning and at the end of the shift. Your mom could ask for this type of case to make it easier on herself. I offer this advice because I have met many a nurse who is in her 70's and unable to retire because they do not have enough income.

meanmaryjean, DNP, RN · Aug 8, 2016

OP- I think perhaps you are laboring under the mistaken impression that nurses are government employees (you mentioned her being a 'public servant'). Unless she worked for the VA or a state health department- she is a private employee just like almost everyone else.

sttony · Aug 8, 2016

ty so much , makes sense and she wants to go back to work ... I just feel at 70 its too much . Shes very prideful and so I was seeking more advice again just in case i hadnt turned every stone . Ty

sttony · Aug 8, 2016

you've been helpful , ty for taking time to respond... and for the record I did think there was like a universal nursing fund..... and maybe she hadnt opted for it or something . The medical field needs to treat their workers better ...at least in my eyes.

sttony · Aug 8, 2016

I wont lie I didnt think they were government (well I knew they werent) but still doing a job that Know one else would that had to do with the public and care giving .... well anyway I guess I think outside the box

Ty again