I need help for my mom ex Nurse

babyNP., APRN · Aug 9, 2016

The United States doesn't really do pensions like other countries (it's becoming a more rare thing and you can't necessarily count on it because the company might go down and there is nothing you can do about it) and it's pretty rare in the nursing world even still. Where is she getting the $1200 from? Social security? How much money does she have invested in her retirement from private accounts?

If the employer promised to match money and didn't- she would need to take that up with human resources. To be frank, though, most matching is not that generous, usually 1-6%, so she still would have needed to put in a lot of money in order to live comfortably.

I also have mixed feelings about giving parents money. No, I wouldn't let my parents starve or live on the street, but I would not enable a luxury lifestyle. Sure my parents took care of me and supported me- but that was their choice to become a parent and to keep me in the first place. I don't "owe" my parents anything. I will do things for them because I love them, but I think it's wrong of parents to have kids for the purpose of having them take care of them when they are older.

Anonymous865 · Aug 9, 2016

The United States doesn't really do pensions like other countries (it's becoming a more rare thing and you can't necessarily count on it because the company might go down and there is nothing you can do about it) and it's pretty rare in the nursing world even still. Where is she getting the $1200 from? Social security? How much money does she have invested in her retirement from private accounts?
If the employer promised to match money and didn't- she would need to take that up with human resources. To be frank, though, most matching is not that generous, usually 1-6%, so she still would have needed to put in a lot of money in order to live comfortably.
I also have mixed feelings about giving parents money. No, I wouldn't let my parents starve or live on the street, but I would not enable a luxury lifestyle. Sure my parents took care of me and supported me- but that was their choice to become a parent and to keep me in the first place. I don't "owe" my parents anything. I will do things for them because I love them, but I think it's wrong of parents to have kids for the purpose of having them take care of them when they are older.

ERISA is the law that covers pensions and other retirement plans.

Employers are required by law to keep the money to fund the plan segregated from company assests.

A lot depends on whether your mother had a pension or an employee funded plan (401K).

For pensions the money must be in a trust. It is supposed to be set up such that even if a business fails there is enough money in the trust to pay future pensions.

There is a regulatory agency that monitors pension plans to protect employees. I don't know a lot about pension plans, because I was never covered by one.

When the big banks failed in 2008, I know it negatively impacted a lot of pension plans. It is possible that your mother's pension plan is underfunded because of where/how the plan administrator invested the funds.

If there is any question about mismanagement of the pension plan, your mother really needs a lawyer. The laws covering retirement plans are very complicated.

BabyNP, you might want to google "Filial responsibility law." More than 1/2 the states have filial responsibility laws that make adult children financially responsible for their indigent parents. My state is one of the states with this law. This was a shock to me when I learned of it. Fortunately my parents were very wise about saving for retirement and are quite comfortable. I would support them even if they hadn't, but I was surprised that the state could force you to support your parents.

DeeAngel · Aug 10, 2016

You need a consultation with a licensed estate planning / financial planning agent that can look over everything, give you solid advice and refer you to appropriate resources. Asking for advice from laypeople on an internet board is not the way to approach this. You need professional advice given in person for your mother's unique particular situation, not just the anecdotal stories of others. The internet cannot substitute for that. Failing to consult with a real, certified estate planning agent is going to be extremely expensive for your mother in the long run.

GourmandG · Aug 10, 2016

This is not the time for mom to be prideful. Have a heart to heart talk and obtain all of her current financials (pension, 401k, Roth IRA, social security, checking, savings statements etc). This will give you a true picture of her finances. Order her credit report. If she owes money, you best address that before you inherit that too. Hire a fiduciary financial adviser. I see you pointing at the employer (and maybe they are truly at fault) but at the end of the day, your mom is the only one responsible for her own life/retirement. Perhaps she put all her eggs in one basket? There are other ways to save such as a regular savings account, Roth IRA etc that is not tied to her pension that she could have established. Also, even if she had a pension through her employer, she still is accountable in the sense of how much was she contributing and she also had a say in where her money was invested so if a fund wasn't doing well, she could have switched to another fund and she should have diversified.

Make an appointment with her to go to your local social security office to see if they can help. She may also get social security benefits through your deceased father. Look into programs that assist the elderly and/ or low income such as section 8, food stamps, the food bank, medicare and medicaid. A doctor who takes Medicare assignment agrees to accept the Medicare-approved amount as full payment. Is there a generic version of her meds that is cheaper? Some retirees still live as though they are receiving a paycheck. If mom is living by herself, can she move in with one of you or can you move in with her? If she owns her home, look into a reverse mortgage. Would you be better off selling the home? Look into working as a nurse at a call center to avoid the physical labor.

Saving her money from being a teacher does not mean she is a good saver. As you mentioned, she has been in the nursing field for over 20 years. How much of that did she save? Anyone can save enough temporarily. For example, you can make your monthly car payment but after you are done paying for it, how many of us continue to put that money aside in savings? Saving money alone is not enough. You need to invest it wisely so your money will grow and keep up with the cost of living.

You said how your mom doesn't deserve to be treated this way (no one does) and that she worked in a field where no one wants to work (lots of people do, that's why there are so many new grads whom can't get a job and nursing school is so competitive) so I wonder if you got your sense of entitlement from your mom or perhaps neither of you understand how retirement works and need more education? I don't say this to be rude but the picture of how it is to be retired in one's golden years is simply that. It's what you picture but far from reality. It is a common belief that one's pension or social security would support you through retirement. Remember the days when one income was able to support an entire family? Maybe mom was taught this from her parents and that was true during their time? Times are different now. Most people live paycheck to paycheck. A classmate of mine with 2 kids didn't even know what a 401k was! This isn't her fault. Maybe she was a stay at home mom or her work didn't offer one. However, it is her responsibility to educate herself. Please do some research so you don't end up in the same position.

Working 20 odd years does not mean you will get a good pension. Most companies, you need to work full time, a minimum of 5 years to get fully vested. My friend's state job, she can retire with a good pension and health benefits after 20 years but if she leaves before the 20 years (can be different positions but has to be within the state agency), she will lose it. If mom didn't stay very long with the same employer, she may never have gotten vested. Did she cash out her pension when she went to a new job instead of rolling it over? If she worked part time at all, she may not have gotten the same benefits as the full time employees. Maybe she had to tap into her savings in order to support you and your siblings. Besides food, clothing and shelter, did she contributed toward your first cars, down payments on homes, weddings or colleges? This all adds up and if she gave to her kids, then she was taking away from her own retirement.

I too, agree that no one should have kids for that reason. One chooses to have kids and it is their responsibility to care for the children and that includes saving enough for retirement. Parents think they are doing a favor to their kids by paying for weddings or spoiling the grandkids but in the long run, it is a disservice. Let this be a cautionary tale. Start with taking a personal finance class at the local community college, and start saving now!