I need you guys, i think nursing is making me mentally ill

xtxrn, ASN, RN · Oct 16, 2011

1. Go ahead and cry.

2. Buttwipes are everywhere

3. Can you tape report?

4. Be sure you get overtime for HER waste of your time.

5. Feeling 'holy' and nursing aren't going to mesh for long, so might wanna reconsider that one :) Same with the soiled part- I absolutely get what you're saying- but this (unfortunately) is the beginning of a long list of jerks. It hurts- and you feel powerless. The only thing I could ever come up with to deal with these folks was to thank God I wasn't them. I might have my own quirks, but at least I didn't have to live with being that sort of miserable person. Maybe she's great away from work (and from your standpoint, it probably doesn't matter) - you can't know that... so do what you need to to get through report. Every time you see her is one time less in the future you have to deal w/her. :)

6. I'm not sure what you'd write up if she's been there a long time. If nurses are leaving a lot, someone must know what is going on....or not. Maybe they know and don't care. Maybe talking to the DON would be useful.... hard to say.

7. For now- do something you enjoy. Nobody is worth giving your free time to....

:hug:

Simply Complicated · Oct 16, 2011

I worked with someone who was very similiar to this before. Constantly jumping in, not giving me a chance to speak, etc. I finally just stopped and said Could you please let me give you the report, then you can ask me any questions you may have. I get mixed up and loose my train of thought giving report this way. Sometimes you just have to speak up. Just try not to be rude about it, or make it like you are "blaming her" for it.

As far as making you wait for 30 minutes, could you mention this to your manager or charge nurse? I would imagine they are not too happy with the overtime all the time. She should be able to get report, then browse when she is done.

wooh, BSN, RN · Oct 16, 2011

Here's the secret. Get yourself ready to give report. Know what needs to be said, then just keep going. Don't let her interrupt, just keep going. Have confidence in what you're saying, and just keep going. Once she realizes that she can't get to you, she'll shut up and listen.

Unfortunately some nurses seem to think report is the time to show off how smart they are. Ironically, it's usually the not as smart nurses that do this.

And I'm not worried if you think nursing is making you mentally ill. It's those that don't realize nursing's power to do so that I worry about!

:hug:

Long Term Care Columnist / Guide · Oct 16, 2011

And I'm not worried if you think nursing is making you mentally ill. It's those that don't realize nursing's power to do so that I worry about!
:hug:

Hahahaha! You can say THAT again! :uhoh3:

beckster_01, BSN, RN · Oct 16, 2011

I thought you were talking about one of my coworker's for a second. She's not a bad person, and a very intelligent nurse, but giving report to her is TERRIBLE! She constantly interrupts or goes on tangents. about unrelated topics. When I first started I usually ended up letting her "lead" during report, but it always ended up with me giving a pretty choppy report. One day not long after I came off orientation one of my patients almost had a bad outcome because she did not fully comprehend what I was trying to say (I was trying to explain that the patient had unstable vital signs and uncontrolled pain, she was focused on when his last antibiotic was given). After that I became much more insistent that she allow me to give report my way. If she interrupted I would very politely say "I am getting to that, it is important that I go through this patient head-to-toe so I don't miss anything." Any decent nurse will take the hint. Just remember, even if she is screwing up your report, if you did end up giving a poor patient hand-off it is going to stick with you for a very, very long time.

LouisVRN, RN · Oct 16, 2011

Your main question seems to be whether this is something that can be written up - in my opinion - no. However I do feel this is something you need to let your director/charge nurse know. Something along the lines of, "I am concerned about the incidental overtime I have been incurring, I was hoping you'd have some ideas of how I could complete report in a more timely manner..." then continue with what you said here, that you feel that the oncoming shift is not prepared to receive report in a timely fashion and that their interruptions are interfering with your ability to give an accurate and timely report.

TriciaJ, RN · Oct 16, 2011

This nurse is a bully. Bullies back off from assertive people, and get their power from non-assertive people. I assume you're billing your facility for your overtime, right? If you aren't, start now.

Next, tell the oncoming nurse you need to start report NOW because you will be out the door by a certain time. Then you use your cheat sheet, keep going and don't stop for interruptions. Remind her she can ask questions when you're done.

Next, ask your manager for help to give a cohesive report on time. Make it sound like you're seeking feedback for yourself; in the course of explaining the problem it will become clear how obstructive this nurse is being. Don't let them run you off without a fight, while you maintain solid professionalism.

You will enjoy seeing the bullies eventually back down. Ms Nasty may even end up being your best friend. Stranger things have happened.

canesdukegirl, BSN, RN · Oct 16, 2011

but this ****** oncoming nurse is just a really bad way to end the day. she comes in, just in time to give report then she makes you wait while she browse through which takes about 30 mins more and you're so tired you can die right there but she doesn't care.

if i were in your shoes, i would first tape report, but with the intention of giving a verbal report to this nurse. when she steps in the door and sits down to get report, start talking. i agree with wooh in this respect. what rule states that you have to stand there and wait for her to browse? she is acting like you are some kind of child that needs her permission to start talking. take the bull by the horns, girl! start report as soon as her butt hits the chair. if she says that she isn't ready, then start talking anyway. if she interrupts you, tell her that you have spent the last hour preparing a thorough report for her and that if she has further questions, she can refer to the taped report.

finally when she's ready it takes 15 minutes one patient at a time because she just doesn't listen!!!!!!!!!!! she interrupts me, she doesn't let me speak myself, she butts in and butts in, she doesn't effing wait to hear what you have to say,

this is where you have to be the 'heavy'. stop her when she is in mid-sentence if she is interrupting you. politely state that you haven't finished your sentence, and remind her again that you have taken the time to prepare a thorough report. continue your sentence.

example:

you: "ms. x in room 309 is s/p tah pod #2 and is ambulating without assistance. her foley was d/c'd at 1500 and she has been voiding well. her dressing showed some serosang--

her: "so when was her dressing changed last? why was there serosang fluid on her dressing? why didn't you change it on your shift?"

you: "you didn't let me finish my sentence. if you would kindly wait until i have communicated all of the information that i have on this patient, we can get through report in a more efficient manner. you can start your day on time, and i don't have to explain to the nm why i clocked out 30 minutes late because i was having to stop in mid-sentence to answer questions that are addressed in my next sentence."

her: "so i see that you won't answer my questions because you want to get out of here."

you: "if you would like, i would be happy to tape the report that you and i are having right now and let the nm hear it. you know, just to make sure that i am giving you a complete report in a timely fashion, and to ensure that i am answering your questions."

i have to repeat myself like 5 times, and she wants to review the whole effing which if she just would listen i will give her all the pertinent information. she corrects me when there's nothing to correct because she doesn"t listen and i end up correcting her assumptions again. bottom line she acts like a know-it-all who is really stupid and very inconsiderate. i think i should i write her up, i need to get done on time. what do you guys think?

nope, don't waste your time writing her up. offer to tape the report that you are giving her in real time. once she knows that she is being recorded, she will likely shut it and listen. she is intentionally trying to make you feel inferior by making you wait and by interrupting you in mid-sentence. she is trying to frustrate you, and her mission has been accomplished. you now have to show some assertiveness by getting from point a to point b without interruptions. you can do it. once you establish that you won't tolerate her behavior, she won't pull this with you again.

i'm a new hire and fairly young. so i work extra hard for i feel like i need to prove myself. and i'm so effing tired of nurses like this who act all superior when they dont do half the **** i do. some nurses who got comfortable doing their jobs they just dont care and they've been in the facility so long they're laissez faire. i hope someone could relate to this.

honey, all of us have dealt with nurses like this. you simply have to be assertive. don't let her walk all over you. don't wait until she is done browsing. start your report. if she interrupts you again after you have asked her to let you finish, just stop talking. wait about 5 seconds. repeat that you have prepared a complete report for her but you must be able to finish your sentence. she should get the message then. but she won't like it.

i feel so unholy right now with all the anger i'm feeling. i guess i keep it all bottled up. i always smile try to get along with everybody, always extra kind. i wasnt even faking it it's just the way i am but now i feel like i'm turning into monster.

you are giving this nurse waaaayy too much power in your mind. the fact that she has enraged you to this degree tells me that you are allowing this behavior from her. i know it sounds weird to say that, but if we are front and center and unyielding when it comes to workplace bullies like this, we are not allowing their behavior to affect us. if you are visibly frustrated during report, she probably thrives on it. if you are stoic, assertive, and in control, she won't bother to needle you about every stinking little thing because she doesn't get that rise out of you that she is seeking. does that make sense?

because i realize nobody freaking care everybody is for themselves. if you're kind they take advantage of you.

it may seem like everyone is out for themselves, but you know in your heart that this isn't true. you must work with some stellar nurses that would go to the ends of the earth for you, or for anyone on the team. yes, kindness is oftentimes seen as weakness, but only to bullies. you can still be kind and also be assertive. your responsibility is to be clear and professional. do not let a nurse like this relegate you to being frustrated, inconsistent and incongruent while your are reporting off to her. you are better than that.

and i'm tired of it, but if i do speak up idk i just dont want to be ganged upon since im just here for half a year. and they're like decades or half a decade, see all new nurses leave.

be assertive and don't back down. don't feel an obligation to be accommodating or kind to this nurse. be professional-always. be consistent, speak with confidence and clarity. we were raised to be polite and accommodating, but we have to maintain boundaries with people like this. she clearly is not respecting your time and effort. don't feel that you are being impolite in respecting your own boundaries by insisting on a timely and efficient way of reporting. this is her problem. don't make it yours.

i feel sick and unappreciated and soiled

i hope that you will feel better tomorrow morning when you wake up. know that every nurse has been in your shoes...you are not alone. you may feel unappreciated, but my gut tells me that this nurse is driving the bus in that regard. if you discounted her completely, how would you feel about your job? about nursing? about your livelihood and all of the sacrifices that you have made to get to where you are now?

pick your head up, girl. strap on some of that body armor that i know you left in your closet. recognize that you are strong, that you are important to your patients and that you are an asset to the unit. keep telling yourself these things when you get ready for work in the morning. own it, baby girl.

now go turn on your favorite song and sing at the top of your lungs. this always makes you feel stronger.

canes

Anna Flaxis, BSN, RN · Oct 16, 2011

In addition to becoming more assertive, I would also suggest claiming the time that you stay over to give report.

IslandRae · Oct 16, 2011

I'm not a nurse....yet, but I would definitely stand up to her. That is just rude.

suanna · Oct 16, 2011

There are 2 things I find myself saying in report all the time: " if you would let me finish, you will know the answer to that question- it'll be in that report thingy I'm giving you" and " if there is time, the floor will be open for questions and answers at the end of the presentation- please hold your questions till that time". After you have found a phrase or two that tell your co-workers you are going to give report the way you feel is appropriate, and they are to listen, not interogate during report, I think you will find it goes much more smoothly. NEVER stop your report to answer questions you were going to cover later on, or that you feel are not appropriate for report-just find a way to say no- and move on. These are attempts to control the interaction from a "Parent-Child" perspective. You have to force the interaction back to an "Adult-Adult" interaction. Refuse to be a child being quizzed by a parent- be an adult giving information to another adult.