I just had my evaluation at the hospital I work at. Out of the blue I was given a "did not meet expections" for treating co-workers with respect. This was due to one nurse I work with saying I made her cry and made her feel that she needs to leave the unit.
We work in an ICU at a small hospital, I came here from a level 1 tramua center with only 7 months experience. Cindy (that is what I will call her) has been a nurse for about 9 years on med-surg. Cindy came to this unit only two weeks after I started. She has many strengths but is struggling in ICU due mostly to her fears. She does not want to take on the most critical patients and when I work with her it is okay with me. I love those patients. I get to learn new things and keep moving most of the night.
My issue is I never knew I made her feel this way, I never intended to make her feel this way. Now it is in my file that I do not respect my co-workers. I got a chance to write a comment and I wrote that I had no idea I made anyone feel this way and that it was not my intent. I feel that I was blind-sided. Do I talk to Cindy about this? I still have no idea what made her cry. I dont want to make her cry again. I have worked with people who have made me feel that I have no business being there and do not want to be one of those people. I am still pretty upset, I have probably rambled on. Any advise?
Specializes in Community Health, Med-Surg, Home Health.
I have seen things like this happen often; the damsel in distress gets to whine to someone and the knight in shining armor goes to save the day with misinformation. This is not fair. I would have been bewildered, flabbergasted and pissed off.
I am not sure of what to say. Part of me says to get the manager, this Cindy person and maybe a union rep if this applies and calmly express how you are feeling and even your disappointment. This is part of your RECORD...how you get along with or respect people. It is not fair to YOU. But, I don't have faith in how the manager addressed this situation, thus, am not sure if you would receive the support you need to vent.
Unfortunately, we need each other in nursing because all of our licenses are at stake. I have seen grudges go so far as to let nurses hang themselves rather than warn them that an act is not safe for a patient or such because of petty issues. It may be very hard to avoid Cindy in times of crisis. Better yet, if she needs your assistance, how would you know if the advice or help you give would be misinterpeted yet, again?? And, then, she goes crying again to someone else who will look at this record and think that you are the black sheep?? This really pisses me off, and I don't even know this person but I see writing on the wall for stupid mess to continue in the future, may it be with you or some other innocent bystander.
Sorry you had such a bad experience, I would continue to do my regular work, but I would make sure that she wasn't off the hook. Obviously, if after 9 years she is crying about her job and unsure of her abillities-she doesn't belong in ICU or with critical care patients. While we know patient care is number one, if a crisis is evident help her, otherwise let her sink on her own....she will.
Your manager sounds like a complete idiot, taking a one sided opinion of you. If you can amend that record I would not only outline your feelings about being surprised at your evaluation, but about a system that would allow that type of comment to be placed in your record. Its a crock and should not be tolerated! Respect goes both way and you were given none! If this is a union hospital I would also get my union rep involved. Also, give her or any friends she may have a wide berth-she sounds like trouble-the criers even if they are muckups always seem to stay employed. Good Luck.
Maisy;)
I agree, you have to be able to handle pressure in the ICU situation where things get tense. Maybe she's having trouble adapting and the OP is more confident, so it's totally pushing her over the edge. Management these days is going so overboard to keep nurses from 'eating their young', so they are probably over reacting. I wouldn't let this discourage the OP, just walk on eggshells with that nurse from now on.
Your concern shows that you meant no harm. I would talk to "Cindy" and address her feelings toward you and explain yourself as you have here. Some people are highly sensitive, maybe she takes things the wrong way. I'd also talk to the manager about this. GL!
But still you have to play it cool. It may be that the NM and the crybaby are long time allies and babysit each other's kids, and you are considered the cocky upstart from the Level 1 trauma hospital.
I feel your pain, my friend, and have walked that eval road a few times. I get "dinged" for "yelling" and "head spinning". Now I'll own up to a head spin a time or two, (no spewing involved), but I am rather impatient/intolerant of well, shall we say, intelligent-impaired people. I am a tall person, I have a loud voice and I look people in the eye when I talk to them. I don't do games and I'll tell ya the truth if you ask me. Unfortunately, that is very intimidating to alot of people. My NM believes I yell. I said, no, but I do have a loud voice that cares. If I was yelling, I'd be heard 3 floors away. My NM is a very petite, soft spoken people pleaser, so in comparison, I'm a raging bull. Our 12 bed ICU gets really crazy (duh) and as charge nurse with a full load, it's no pansy a** job. But I get it done. Sounds to me like your competence may be very threatening. Don't let them getcha down. I quit apologizing for being me a long time ago. Folks say I got em and their brass. Well, they are wrong. They be cast iron!!!! Your unit needs you, your patients need you and YOU NEED YOU. As long as your heart stays sincere, which it is or you wouldn't be trippin, hold your head high and do what you know you do best. Karma is a powerful teacher and it bites hard on the butt when it comes back around. Dollars to donuts, if "Cindy" had a family member in the unit, she'd want you to be the one taking care of them. Hang tight darlin' you're not alone!!!!!!!
My manager said she "just found this out when she was asking my co-workers about me." There were a lot of questions on my mind but I was so shocked I could not ask any of them. Like, if she was asking me about others, why not ask me about ANY nurse I work with. Makes me wonder too if she was just looking for something.
My manager said she "just found this out when she was asking my co-workers about me." There were a lot of questions on my mind but I was so shocked I could not ask any of them. Like, if she was asking me about others, why not ask me about ANY nurse I work with. Makes me wonder too if she was just looking for something.
She was asking your co-workers about you?!? It does sound like she was looking for something. I know my manager has never gone asking about me. I hear when things get reported to her, good or bad, and if its bad, I get asked my side...I would go back and ask those questions now that the shock has worn off!
Well, I could not leave it alone. I went in to night (I am a night shifter) and spoke to the house supervisor. I get along well with her. The house sup had told "Cindy" she needed to talk to me about how she was feeling. Cindy told her she just could not do that. Last week I had floated off the unit and was down on my break. Cindy was in one of her patient's room and the other one's call light went off. I went to the room and the patient asked for his nurse. I let the patient know it would be a little bit because she was tied up and I went and told her she needed to go to the other room when she was done. Apparently, she told the house sup that I had not stopped by the room just went and told her she needed to go. The house sup asked her why I had done that and she replied "because it was my patient." It has never bothered me to help a co-worker.
The house sup kept repeating that my work was meticulous. That was also mentioned in my eval and that I have never had a report filed on me or ever called in sick. I guess I dont understand how I can be held accountable for someone feeling threatened by me when I have not done anything but try to give the best care I can to my patients. I know I will eventually get over this but it is going to take me a few days. Thanks to all you for your posts, I feel much less alone.
My manager said she "just found this out when she was asking my co-workers about me." There were a lot of questions on my mind but I was so shocked I could not ask any of them. Like, if she was asking me about others, why not ask me about ANY nurse I work with. Makes me wonder too if she was just looking for something.
I doubt it; you mention you work nights. This is typical of managers who have no clue about their off-shift employees.
God, I wish there was a way we could report our managers. What a miserable excuse for someone who is supposed to empower and impartially lead the unit. Do you have a Union at your hospital? (I assume not). Cindy is not ICU material. Waaa Waaa Waaa
Get the hell out of there!!! I see misery ahead with such incompetence all around you.
pagandeva2000, LPN
7,984 Posts
I have seen things like this happen often; the damsel in distress gets to whine to someone and the knight in shining armor goes to save the day with misinformation. This is not fair. I would have been bewildered, flabbergasted and pissed off.
I am not sure of what to say. Part of me says to get the manager, this Cindy person and maybe a union rep if this applies and calmly express how you are feeling and even your disappointment. This is part of your RECORD...how you get along with or respect people. It is not fair to YOU. But, I don't have faith in how the manager addressed this situation, thus, am not sure if you would receive the support you need to vent.
Unfortunately, we need each other in nursing because all of our licenses are at stake. I have seen grudges go so far as to let nurses hang themselves rather than warn them that an act is not safe for a patient or such because of petty issues. It may be very hard to avoid Cindy in times of crisis. Better yet, if she needs your assistance, how would you know if the advice or help you give would be misinterpeted yet, again?? And, then, she goes crying again to someone else who will look at this record and think that you are the black sheep?? This really pisses me off, and I don't even know this person but I see writing on the wall for stupid mess to continue in the future, may it be with you or some other innocent bystander.