I just had my evaluation at the hospital I work at. Out of the blue I was given a "did not meet expections" for treating co-workers with respect. This was due to one nurse I work with saying I made her cry and made her feel that she needs to leave the unit.
We work in an ICU at a small hospital, I came here from a level 1 tramua center with only 7 months experience. Cindy (that is what I will call her) has been a nurse for about 9 years on med-surg. Cindy came to this unit only two weeks after I started. She has many strengths but is struggling in ICU due mostly to her fears. She does not want to take on the most critical patients and when I work with her it is okay with me. I love those patients. I get to learn new things and keep moving most of the night.
My issue is I never knew I made her feel this way, I never intended to make her feel this way. Now it is in my file that I do not respect my co-workers. I got a chance to write a comment and I wrote that I had no idea I made anyone feel this way and that it was not my intent. I feel that I was blind-sided. Do I talk to Cindy about this? I still have no idea what made her cry. I dont want to make her cry again. I have worked with people who have made me feel that I have no business being there and do not want to be one of those people. I am still pretty upset, I have probably rambled on. Any advise?
Specializes in Jack of all trades, and still learning.
Don't talk to Cindy without a third party. She is probably highly sensitive,and obviously has difficulty talking to people, otherwise she would have dealt with you directly in the first place. She also is not to be trusted because she got you in trouble once, and isn't as innocent as you are describing her.
Cindy, although you say she lacks confidence, obviously has allies at your new workplace, and I would tread carefully around her. I agree, don't bring it up, just treat her with kid gloves.
I think this issue should be brought up; formally. It is in black and white on your record; you should have the right to defend yourself. I would suggest organising a meeting with Cindy, your superior, and someone you can trust (in Australia we would use a union representative, but I'm not sure of the procedures in the US). Have it all laid out, find out what actually happened and ask why the heck wasn't it brought up at the time, informally, so the issue could be dealt with? What happened to innocent until proven guilty?
I agree that evaluation time was not the time to bring this up, whether or not it needed to be on there or not.
However, ignoring it, qutting, getting angry about the whiney gossiping backstabbing crybaby who can't handle ICU on her menstral cycle isn't going to make you feel any better or make it go away.
A mature non-threatening confrontation (not a bad word) with the person one on one without malice or anger can help iron out the feelings between the two of you. If you feel it will be too hard, then ask a 3rd party to be there. Simplly say "I'd like to clear something up. It was brought to my attention that...........I certainly don't mean for you to feel that way, lets see if we can come to an understanding. I'd like to improve our working relationship......."
The other thing to do is after you talk to your coworker return to the evaluator with the results. In addition state you would appreciate a heads up about furture problems rather than be blindsided at evaluation time. The evaluation is your performance for the entire year (or time frame specified) so it still might be on there, but at least you won't be blindsided with it.
Specializes in ER, Occupational Health, Cardiology.
Don't talk to Cindy without a third party. She also is not to be trusted because she got you in trouble once, and isn't as innocent as you are describing her.
Cindy, although you say she lacks confidence, obviously has allies at your new workplace, and I would tread carefully around her.
"Cindy" has more seniority than you at the hospital. Therefore, she knows more people and more dirt about people. She also is passive-aggressive in spades. I wouldn't handle her with kid gloves, but I would keep my eyes and ears wide open, and watch my back. If you don't, you very well might find a knife in it. She is obviously insecure in her position and rather than admit it she is trying to deflect attention away from hre performance and on to your behavior.
People say that this is "nurses eating their young." I say that this is typical selfish behavior that can be found in males or females in any profession. Take care.
I can relate. I was blindsided at a review a few years ago by statements made by a co-workers that I can be abrupt and hard to approach when I am busy. Gee, sorry! Guess I will make more time for social chit-chit instead of trying to take care of my patients.
One thing I hate: That so many of us can't approach each other about these things in person as opposed to waiting for yearly reviews. It seems to be a widespread problem. I know I am really trying to get better about this.
Specializes in ICU;CCU;Telemetry;L&D;Hospice;ER/Trauma;.
my question is: why is ANY of this drivel, this triviality, being addressed in the framework of an EVALUATION?? I just cannot get my mind around why anyone would give any credence to subjective opinion (which can be swayed with as little as buying donuts for the crew) as to complimenting just the right person at the right time on their new "do".....(I've seen this one in action, kids!)
Why any of this belong on a professional evaluation??
I think about other PROFESSIONS:...like, say, top CEO of a Fortune 500: "uh, Bob, uh...I've been talking with your co-workers, and well, you are too abrupt...and you make them cry...."
Do ya think this looks just a bit ridiculous??? If I was a manager, I would be ashamed if I had to go around behind an employee's back, and "gather" information....
This whole thing reminds me of that nasty crone "ROZ" from the movie 9to5, the one who took notes on toilet paper in the bathroom and then ran to the boss with it all....maybe the manager and Cindy need to be sent on a foreign junket somewhere....to learn a new language....so they can gossip appropriately in several languages!! ugh!
If there is one thing that I can pinpoint as THE THING that keeps all of us below the ceiling of professionalism, IT IS THIS!
Specializes in Community Health, Med-Surg, Home Health.
I feel your pain, my friend, and have walked that eval road a few times. I get "dinged" for "yelling" and "head spinning". Now I'll own up to a head spin a time or two, (no spewing involved), but I am rather impatient/intolerant of well, shall we say, intelligent-impaired people. I am a tall person, I have a loud voice and I look people in the eye when I talk to them. I don't do games and I'll tell ya the truth if you ask me. Unfortunately, that is very intimidating to alot of people. My NM believes I yell. I said, no, but I do have a loud voice that cares. If I was yelling, I'd be heard 3 floors away. My NM is a very petite, soft spoken people pleaser, so in comparison, I'm a raging bull. Our 12 bed ICU gets really crazy (duh) and as charge nurse with a full load, it's no pansy a** job. But I get it done. Sounds to me like your competence may be very threatening. Don't let them getcha down. I quit apologizing for being me a long time ago. Folks say I got em and their brass. Well, they are wrong. They be cast iron!!!! Your unit needs you, your patients need you and YOU NEED YOU. As long as your heart stays sincere, which it is or you wouldn't be trippin, hold your head high and do what you know you do best. Karma is a powerful teacher and it bites hard on the butt when it comes back around. Dollars to donuts, if "Cindy" had a family member in the unit, she'd want you to be the one taking care of them. Hang tight darlin' you're not alone!!!!!!!
Easy to see why you tag yourself as 'firehawkrn'. I like your style and would probably LOVE working with you!
Specializes in Happily semi-retired; excited for the whole whammy.
I find it ridiculous that a single incident would show up in your evaluation. Not that the manager shouldn't have called it to your attention, but if this isn't an ongoing issue that has been addressed previously, it certainly shouldn't show up in your file. I hope that in your comment, you said that you weren't even told what specifically made this other person cry and that you mean no disrespect towards any of your co-workers.
nyapa, RN
995 Posts
I think this issue should be brought up; formally. It is in black and white on your record; you should have the right to defend yourself. I would suggest organising a meeting with Cindy, your superior, and someone you can trust (in Australia we would use a union representative, but I'm not sure of the procedures in the US). Have it all laid out, find out what actually happened and ask why the heck wasn't it brought up at the time, informally, so the issue could be dealt with? What happened to innocent until proven guilty?