I just cried.. In a staff meeting

[002rn05]

This is more than embarrassing.. I just cried at a staff meeting. I've been working 3rd shift on a very busy/heavy floor for over a year, and since that day have been severely understaffed with few prospects for change in the horizon (although always promised things will get better but never do). I'd detail more but I think you get the gist.

Back to my embarrassing moment. The women and men I work with are phenomenal and we each take turns being to glue that holds us all together, but today during a staff meeting I just couldn't contain my frustration.. And frustration turned to tears.

I am so let down by myself. I feel like while my co-workers were holding it together (and keeping silent to get the meeting over with so we could sleep!) I just couldn't contain myself. The tears boiled over when I brought my concern for our decreasing quality of care due to staffing and was met with, " no you all are delivering great care! You're care is excellent!"

Tears.., everywhere. Because a) I'm frustrated that management doesn't understand, b) this compliment was completely unfounded (we all go home every day feeling like we could have done sooo much better, and c) my co-workers not wanting to stir the pot just smiled and nodded. Despite moments earlier carrying on about how things are getting so bad.

i wish I could have done the latter, but no, I teared up and the 5 women surrounding me pretended not to notice. I'm pretty humiliated that I let my guard down but I know I'm not wrong about why it happened.

Im considering emailing my manager and explaining myself but honestly I don't know that is the best option. I'm clearly a little burnt out but I would appreciate some input as to how I should handle this. Or maybe suggestions on how to deal with these types of emotions at work?

[MrChicagoRN, RN]

How are your quality results and patient satisfaction doing? Staff satisfaction ratings? Have they done down?

Its a shame your coworkers left you hanging out there.

Hopefully, your manager will be the one to say "we could see that you were really upset in the meeting, do you want to sit down and talk about it?"

[002rn05]

Patient satisfaction is down significantly (I want to say 15-20% lower than our hospital average) and our staff satisfaction results have not come back yet but the last round were the lowest they've ever been for our floor. I hate to say it but I expect the results to be even worse this time. I want to encourage a change but I think everyone is tired of trying with no results. There are a lot of relatively new staff and we are always told by the senior nurses to keep our mouths shut because it's more or less a waste of breath. It's really discouraging.

[002rn05]

Just an additional side note, but falls are at a record high as well and on night shift alone we've averaged 7 transfers a month to the ICU or telemetry units which equates to about 50% of the total critical transfers on our floor. Days and eves combined transfer the other 50% ..and we care for almost double the number of patients on nights 1:7 (sometimes 1:8) nurse ratio vs 1:4/ 1:5 on days.

[exp626]

I can only imagine how not feeling like you're heard coupled with frustration and sleep deprivation would affect you. It sounds to me like you just need to get out of there. You've given it a year, and despite promises that conditions will improve, senior staff advise to keep your mouth shut because it won't help to say anything. This is a red flag to me. Save your sanity before you it impacts your attitude towards nursing and find another job.

[002rn05]

Thank you. After a little sleep and some reflection I think you're right..exp626. I shouldn't lower my standards of nursing because management like this. My patients ( and my sanity) shouldn't take the beating for the units downfalls.

[jadelpn, LPN, EMT-B]

Best wishes in your future endevours.

You have put over a year's time in a fustrating situation which would degrade anyone to the point of tears. Especially when managment is ignoring the elephant in the room.

Brush up on that resume and move on.

[Bekallable]

You're human. I'm tired of professionalism in nursing being defined as zero emotion. Your tears is an expression of caring about your job, and being at your wits end. I would rather have a coworker that cared enough to be in tears, than a robot that is there for a paycheck and to go home. I don't believe that it reflects badly upon you that you care, but there are some who will say it does. I would talk to the manager in person, because emails can be interpreted any way, and her last memory of you will likely color the email in her mind. Just explain to her that you are concerned for patients, and that you were sad that you can't provide the kind of care that they deserve. That way she sees you as less of feeling sorry for yourself and more of feeling sorry for the patients.

[amberella123]

Get out of there!!!!

[vianne]

NurseLo86, if you like your job, stay and change the situation, this is hard I know, its taken me years to see that the very situation I would've left a job for after 2 years just comes up again, in another 2 years, if you don't address the problem. It can't be sorted overnight and probably not even with an email, you ll have to work at it and might find to your surprise that the colleagues sitting saying nothing feel the same but have burnt out with trying. Go on, stick at it, have a rest, then have another go, some wise one said be the change you want to see, its what makes nursing more than one dimensional and why you came into it in the first place, nursing needs people like you, be strong and stand up for what you want to see, xx

[Wheels28]

Just a patient so take it for what it's worth, just because you are a nurse doesn't mean you can't show your emotions, you are human not a robot, don't be embarrassed you cried, you did that you because you care about your patients and the level of care they are receiving, and that's a good thing, a patient WANTS a nurse, who CARES about the CARE they receive, any patient would be lucky to have you as a nurse because you CARE. You are the type of nurse I would want. Be sure to take time for yourself, treat yourself to something, a nurse often works so hard caring for others they often forget to care for themselves! Keep CARING!! Thanks for doing what you!!

[Been there,done that, ASN, RN]

Yeah, I'd be mortified too.

Look at it this way, you were exhausted , frustrated ,and your management and peers let that bus run over you.

Another reason to move on.

Why bother emailing management? No apologies are expected or required.

Management has already proven themselves .... clueless and useless.