I cannot do this job anymore!

[superwifenursewoman]

I have been a nurse for a number of years and have come to the realisation that I cannot do this job anymore. I have tried changing designation, going back to school to gain more knowledge, changing jobs, work places countries, jobs, work places it goes on and on. I really feel I just dont want to look after people anymore, I dont want to work shifts, weekends, christmas', evenings, nights, early mornings. I hate it all. Now what do I do?, where do I go, how do I start again at my age. I'm not complaining about the patients, the nurses the doctors or anyone else, I just cannot walk into a hospital anymore and I am still employed by one. I have seriously thought of just quitting and walking and losing my home rather then feel like I am going to throw up everytime I get up for work. l lost it last week at home with my husband and he'd done nothing, I just feel so stressed all the time. I go into work and you wouldent know anything was wrong but its an effort to put one foot in front of another. I'm not depressed if thats how it sounds, I'm just incredibly unhappy with my worklife and want out NOW. Sorry for venting, I'm not able to speak to anyone else and hope perhaps someone out there was where I am and can give me any advise, hope, reason to get up for work tomorrow.

[dusky1228]

Definitely sounds like burnout. I have been there, as have many, many nurses. Changing a shift, type of nursing, location, or any other aspect can often ease the pressure. For me that worked for almost 10 years, before I needed to make another change. At that time, I changed to a different focus (from a large general postpartum unit to a small highly specialized Perinatal unit). When it was time for me to leave again (this time not from burnout, but that wonderful small specialty unit was closed by the hospital), I left the hospital entirely and went to work in an office environment, with no physical patient contact, just telephone and computer contact, reading uterine monitoring strips for high risk pregnant patients. I did that for a year while my stress level diminished. I then went into home care, for maternal-child health clients. I made some changes in jobs, while still keeping my basic specialty intact. I am really happy-I get to still provide the care that I always wanted to be able to do, and yet I don't have that "every other weekend and holiday" merry go round. I work a Monday through Friday week as a rule, though I do work into the early evening or on weekends sometimes-it is *my* choice, and not a requirement. It makes a big difference in stress level, believe me!

Maybe consider some of the options mentioned. Good luck.

[Magsulfate, BSN, RN]

I haven't read any of the responses yet, I wanted to reply without reading them because I feel like it might change my reply.

You SAY that you're not depressed. But, it sure looks like you are. Most people that are depressed don't think they are. They think feeling that way is normal. Reading your posts, it seems like you are not realizing that the way you feel is NOT NORMAL. There is absolutely no shift, no department, no hospital that you would want to work at?? What makes you think that any other career would make you happy at this point?

I think you should go see a doctor/psychiatrist/counselor and tell them what you've written here. I bet they'll agree with me.

[marilynmom, LPN, NP]

I think there is a big difference in being depressed, and just hating your job.

I have had jobs that I hated with a passion, and having a job that sucks can really ruin your life---that doesn't mean your depressed though--it just means your job is wrecking your life. You will feel soooo much better getting out of the hospital and finding something else!!

[Vtachy1]

I could have written your post too. I hate hospital nursing. I've been in the same hospital 19 years and it just never changes. I think the first 12 or so years it was still fresh and fun and I had so much energy. Now, its just no longer the career for me. I can't handle the adrenaline anymore, I truly hate it with a passion!

So I'm focusing on my family for now. I'd rather starve to death and live in a tent than work in the hospital. Its such a horrid life. I have considered working at McDonald's if we were in desperate need of $.

I am open to all kinds of careers, we don't live near a big city with lots of opportunity, I've thought about physical therapy, massage therapy, medical transcription etc.

I tried office nursing and it was horrid too for the low pay that you get.

[superwifenursewoman]

Thank you all of you for your kindness and support. Every single reply made me stop and think and realise more and more that I really cannot do this job, I really cant. I would love to get up in the morning and plan my day without dreading being short staffed, dealing with situations that make my heart skip a beat in dread or fear. I dont want to deal with the saddness or horror or gore or smells. I want the kind of life many of my friends have, normal. I know there are many options for nurses out there but I just want to stop . I understand the economy is awful that I am lucky to have a job a wage, but it means nothing to me I am so unhappy with it. I feel like I am bound in this nightmare destined to never know what a normal life without sickness is. For 30 years I have seen sick people every day and thats enough. Perhaps as some of you say I am depressed but I really dont feel it. I have a wonderful family, a lovely home, I thank god every day for my health, I love life to the full. I hit rock bottom though whenever I even think of work, let alone when I actually have to go there. I feel after reading your replies that I am getting to a solution for this nightmare. I am going to speak to my husband and will let you know. thank you all

[Melinurse]

Don't know if this was mentioned, did not read through all posts. I know you want to create yourt own work schedule and be more in control of that. Have you considered case management? Home care? Hospice?

[marie-francoise]

Disclaimer: I'm still a student. But, even as a student, I don't know how the hell I can do hospital bedside nursing. And that's just based on my observations & experiences during clinicals! Hats off to you nurses for doing what you do - it takes herculean effort. But I don't blame you one bit if you want to leave the bedside. I dread clinicals - I can't imagine actually DOING bedside nursing for a living, with even more patients and more days/nights spent nursing. Hospitals expect nurses to be superwomen - but nurses are only human and the stress, multi-tasking, paperwork, and liability for blame just seem incredible.

[superwifenursewoman]

I just want to keep you up to date with how things are. Having read all your replies I knew my only course of action is to quit. My kids are grown, I now believe I can do what I have wanted to do for a long long time. My husband and I are waiting for our house to sell and then we move to a rural community with no mortgage and enough to keep us in basics for a few years. I'm trying to decide what job to train as , must have requirements are days only, part time, casual, no touching sick people, no stress other then the normal. I am still in a state emotionally as I have to keep working until our house sells to pay the bills but I can see a tiny light in the distance and am working toward it slowly. Thank you all.

[josinda421]

gonna put in my 2cents~~

sounds to me like you have major burnout... understandable... you just don't like it anymore...

this is just my advice... .so take it for what its worth...

if you really hate it that much look into being a pharmaceutical rep... they love to hire former nurses and you would flip out on the money... probably 3 times more than you make as a nurse...my sister went from a burn unit nurse making about 30/hr... to working as a pharm rep making like 250k/yr.... and she even got a nice company issued lexus...

if you don't want to be a nurse... as everyone else mentioned above.. there are many options... i wish you the best of luck...

I didn't know you could work as a pharm rep with an RN degree. Now, do you have to have your BSN to be a pharm rep?, or can you just have an associate. What does your sister have if you don't mind me asking. I'm guessing to be a pharm rep, you would have to have so many experience as a nurse to do your job; correct? Cause I was also thinking about getting my RN, but I was afraid I might end up like the person who posted this thread. So it's nice to know that bedside care isn't my only choice.

[canoehead, BSN, RN]

I say the hell with nursing.

You are tired, and the best thing you could do is leave the profession. We will always be here for you if you want to come back.

Get a job at Dunkin Donuts, and you'll probably be the best employee they have. Just go out and do something different, something where you go home you've fixed something, and you don't need to worry about work time in your personal life.

I'll bet nurses make great police dispatchers, or receptionists (at a vet clinic- that would be my pick), or the simplicity and mindlessness of MacDonalds or Walmart might appeal to you.

I agre with other posters that you sound depressed. Don't get it into your head that you can't do anything. You're just choosing not to do something that is draining and painful. Go see a therapist or a doc, see if they can help you over the hump. And don't hole up in the house, go out and volunteer if necessary.

But the hell with the nursing job.