I hate my job... :(

Ruby Vee, BSN · Sep 18, 2016

If you're only in ICU because you want to be in anesthesia school, you aren't really engaged in ICU. If you no longer want to be a CRNA, quit the ICU job, go back to OR and be happy.

If you still want to be a CRNA, you'll need ICU experience on your resume. You don't get a monopoly on sick patients because you "need them for CRNA school." Focus on what you're doing in ICU. Take care of the "downgraded" or less acute patients and become knowledgable and competent in their care. There's a reason anesthesia schools want to see ICU on your resume. You will need the skills you use in caring for ICU patients. So take the time to actually learn those skills and learn them well.

Only YOU can make up your mind to enjoy the ICU experience, get as much out of it as possible and really learn what you need to know. I'll admit that the scheduling and the educator seem to be a bit out there -- but you are NEVER going to find the perfect job because perfect jobs don't exist. You're only going to find the one that you can make the most of by enduring those (temporary) inconveniences of your orientation and making the most of the parts of it that you like.

8 preceptors is a lot, I know. But look at it as an opportunity to observe 8 different approaches so you can figure out which approach works for you.

NurseGirl525, ASN, RN · Sep 18, 2016

It's not your unit's fault that the really high acuity patients have not one in. You can't predict that. As long as you find fault with everything, you won't be happy.

Look at the positives and go to work with a positive attitude. That will help you get through the time you need for school.

TheCommuter, BSN, RN · Sep 18, 2016

I was discouraged because other people loved their jobs and I didn't love mine.

People who love their jobs are truly blessed. Unfortunately, they also fall into the vast minority of workers. Most people do not love the work they do.

Anecdotally, I'd say that about 20 percent of people to the left of the bell curve hate their jobs while about 20 percent of folks to the right of the bell curve love their jobs. The vast majority (the 60 percent in the middle of the bell curve) neither love nor hate the work they do; rather, they tolerate their jobs with neutrality.

Some people chirp, "Why do something if you don't absolutely love it?" I only speak for myself...I've never loved any job I've ever worked and never will. For me, work is a means to an end. It takes up time I'd rather utilize to do things I truly love. Thus, since I prefer to not live in my car or dumpster-dive for food, I see work as a necessary evil to fund my unstructured free time, air travel, and other pursuits.

I apologize for rambling, but my point is that suboptimal decisions are sometimes made when one chases a job to love. Sometimes a lower level of affinity for the job is perfectly okay. I'd rather tolerate a job and love my personal life rather than love a job and simply tolerate my personal life.

Good luck to you!

sophie<3 · Sep 20, 2016

I think I phrased myself wrong. I am not looking to take the sickest of the sick patients to prepare me for CRNA... that would be ideal to prepare myself but I'm thinking of the here and now. I simply want sick patients so that I am exposed to it before being cut loose on my own as an ICU nurse. This unit is busy..Level 1 Trauma center that takes any big surgery fresh from OR and any trauma straight from ED. It seems that out of the 12 patients on the unit, an orientee needs the exposure of ANY sick patient and there are several to choose from any given day. But when making assignments, I did not agree with being pulled to progressive care or taking the 1 acute care patient. I am there to learn to be competent in this unit with my license on the line...and I feel that I am not getting the best opportunities to learn. We were pulled because no one else would agree to go...my preceptor tried to spin it into a positive because they are pulled to progressive on occasion so at least I could experience it now...but you have to have been there for 6 months off orientation before you can be pulled. I didn't complain, just didn't agree with that assignment.

The downgraded patient, that happens...but we didn't pick up another patient, we weren't even set up to admit. We were basically just taking an easy day. Just a little disappointing because it felt like a wasted shift.

I think I am worried I won't be practicing safely because the acuity of patients I have been assignment have been maxed at vented/sedated on propofol and fentanyl drips. I came to the unit wanting a great experience and it's left a lot to be desired in all aspects. I'm currently looking at my options....

Wheaties · Sep 20, 2016

It's good that you decided to continue and pursue a higher level of eduction for your career. OR sounded like it was amazing for you. I worked in a hospital in a general medical/cardiac ward. Most of the nurses didn't like the job and we saw high turnovers with staff going to another hospital or department. I definitely agree with thecommuter's post. I just tolerate my job. Some nights on easy nights, it's not a bad job. It's doable. But on crazy nights, it's still doable but very stressful. But the job is just a means to an end for me as well.

I would love to find a department (like the OR in your case) where I can enjoy my work and not stress out with the workload.

just give it time. Experience comes with time,and you may not always get the most critical patients all the time to gain experience .

Been there,done that, ASN, RN · Sep 20, 2016

Your orientation has not been sufficient. Sounds like the scatter -brained educator thinks if everything is down on paper you should be good to go.

Make a list of the experiences YOU need before you will go off orientation. Give it to the manager, nursing education and your "current" preceptor. Make it clear you will not be safe until you have these experiences.

Many nurses hate their jobs. Looking back, I wasted 30 years at the bedside. That's 30 years out of my life I'll never get back Do what makes you happy, or at least , not hate.

sophie<3 · Sep 20, 2016

NurseGirl...that's the thing! My unit has had high acuity patients but the regular staff usually take those patients leaving few options for others who have orientees or students.

sophie<3 · Sep 20, 2016

Wheaties...it took awhile to get there! I was researching elementary education programs (trying to leave nursing altogether) when I applied for the OR job. I remember telling myself that if I hated the job in the OR I would gracefully walk away from nursing and do something else. Luckily, I found my fit! There are so many areas of nursing out there to stay in one that you don't enjoy. I know I will never be an acute care nurse...step down units, psych, OB...not for me! I was lucky to not have kids or a lot of financial burden so I could change jobs easily and adapt to changes in schedule so I could find something I didn't dread doing everyday. I don't know if I'll continue with ICU nursing...the bigger picture of CRNA still stands but I also think I would enjoy being a manager or do something with education/staff development. Time will tell! I hope you find your niche :)

sophie<3 · Sep 20, 2016

Been there...

Thank you! That's how I have been feeling. My educator has her FT role with orientation for new nurses hired facility-wide and she also is the educator specifically for the trauma/surgical services...my managers continue to apologize on her behalf and say she's stretched thin and stressed, etc. I can sympathize...I can visually see she has a lot going on because she always looks frazzled and overwhelmed. But at the end of the day...I have to look out for me. My license depends on it. I will be making a list and having a conversation with my manager soon. I know I am smart and I could be successful, but I deserve an adequate orientation or I am only putting myself at risk. Thanks for your input!

Cowboyardee · Sep 20, 2016

- 8 preceptors isn't really a problem. It's frustrating, perhaps, but you get to know your coworkers and see that there's more than one way to skin a cat.

- Not getting any sick patients on orientation can be a bigger issue. It's often easy to fix though. Speak up if you haven't done so yet. Figure out who makes the assignments for your shift and tell them directly you'd appreciate sicker patients. In a 12 bed ICU, it's often kind of feast or famine as acuity goes anyway, but most ICUs are happy to oblige a request for higher acuity. And it's possible that your apparent distress may have been misinterpreted as you actually wanting lower acuity patients unless you've stated otherwise directly.

- No one is particularly competent by the end of orientation in an ICU. That takes a year or more. You'll rely on your coworkers at times in the meanwhile. This is one of the reasons why having 8 preceptors isn't necessarily a bad thing.

- Were you hired specifically under the understanding that you will work nights? If so, a talk with your boss is definitely in order. Not too many places will fire you for holding them to that kind of agreement. If that was not an agreement at the outset, you've got less leverage. Talking with your unit director still wouldn't hurt. Truth be told, in a lot of places you learn more on the day shift.

I can't advise you on whether you should stay in an ICU or give up on the CRNA thing. That's up to you. FWIW, there's nothing in your post that strikes me as egregious mistreatment from your particular ICU, so I don't really recommend trying another ICU in hopes of greener grass there yet. Critical care is hard; it's supposed to be hard. Most new ICU orientees have a high degree of stress and anxiety - it's normal. It tends to get better a few months after the end of orientation as you develop more competence and confidence.

Ruby Vee, BSN · Sep 20, 2016

- 8 preceptors isn't really a problem. It's frustrating, perhaps, but you get to know your coworkers and see that there's more than one way to skin a cat.
- Not getting any sick patients on orientation can be a bigger issue. It's often easy to fix though. Speak up if you haven't done so yet. Figure out who makes the assignments for your shift and tell them directly you'd appreciate sicker patients. In a 12 bed ICU, it's often kind of feast or famine as acuity goes anyway, but most ICUs are happy to oblige a request for higher acuity. And it's possible that your apparent distress may have been misinterpreted as you actually wanting lower acuity patients unless you've stated otherwise directly.
- No one is particularly competent by the end of orientation in an ICU. That takes a year or more. You'll rely on your coworkers at times in the meanwhile. This is one of the reasons why having 8 preceptors isn't necessarily a bad thing.
- Were you hired specifically under the understanding that you will work nights? If so, a talk with your boss is definitely in order. Not too many places will fire you for holding them to that kind of agreement. If that was not an agreement at the outset, you've got less leverage. Talking with your unit director still wouldn't hurt. Truth be told, in a lot of places you learn more on the day shift.
I can't advise you on whether you should stay in an ICU or give up on the CRNA thing. That's up to you. FWIW, there's nothing in your post that strikes me as egregious mistreatment from your particular ICU, so I don't really recommend trying another ICU in hopes of greener grass there yet. Critical care is hard; it's supposed to be hard. Most new ICU orientees have a high degree of stress and anxiety - it's normal. It tends to get better a few months after the end of orientation as you develop more competence and confidence.

Only the OP can decide whether to stay in ICU or give up on the CRNA idea. But I agree -- there is nothing in the original post to suggest egregious mistreatment from your particular ICU; looking for greener grass is not going to be a fruitful quest.