I feel uncomfortable doing this

[BSNbeauty]

A family member who I have only met once 10 years ago asked me on a social media site if I can write a letter of recommendation. I presume its for nursing school since she needs a RN.

I'm very uncomfortable with this and have not responded to the request. I am uncomfortable with making up stuff. How would you respond if placed in this situation?

[BSNbeauty, BSN, RN]

Update : I denied her request. She needed me to vouch for her personality and I just don't know her. What I've heard from other family members is that she can be quite nasty. Just didn't feel comfortable. I'm sure she will find someone else who can vouch for her. My mother is a RN.I wouldn't even ask her to write a letter on my behalf. Just inappropriate to have a family member write it anyway.

[AnnieOaklyRN, BSN, RN, EMT-P]

I would be upfront with this person and tell them you don't feel comfortable writing a letter for him or her, because as you stated you do not really know them.

Annie

[verene, MSN]

That's a bit dramatic. Nobody is going to be hired based off a personal reference. As was mentioned in another post, it's more a checkbox item for a job application than a serious consideration.

This may be true in some cases but has not been so in my experience.

In my former career it was nearly unheard of for someone to get a job in our department with out knowing some one, somewhere in the company. I got the job because I networked through family and friends to find out who they knew in the field and asked if I could contact these people for more information on their jobs and the field in general. I developed a short list of contacts most of whom I ultimately did informational interviews with in person, and a few whom I developed e-mail based relationships. One of these contacts let me know of an opening at her company and stated that based on my resume and our interactions she would like to refer me for the position and that I should include her name with my application. Though I did not know it at that point in time an employee referred application guaranteed an interview with this particular hiring manager.

[JBudd, MSN]

I once recommended a coworker that I had no reason to doubt could do a good job, filling in for me while I was gone for part of a semester (2nd job). Despite everything he had said to me, and our work history, he was terrible at it. He told the class he was only in it for the money (not what he had told me), and was let go less than halfway through the semester. I was back in the country by then, and picked up the rest of the class. At the end of the first class I taught, I overheard a student say she had learned more on that day than the whole rest of the semester before. We did a lot of catching up!

So, I don't do recommendations unless I really know them well! I was thoroughly embarrassed when I found out what had been going on. My faculty coworkers didn't hold it against me, but it is always going to be part of my history.

[ClaraRedheart, BSN, RN]

Been guilty of this. I asked my aunt for a recommendation letter and I got the honest truth. I'm not the type to be close to others, so it was hard to find someone to even ask. I've got a job I love. so all's well. People are asking ME for recommendation letters now. I take my time, do my best and am honest.