This is my very first post. I have been coming to this site for a long time, and I think I have found some wonderful information especially in relation to critical care.
I am sad to say that I think ICU is not for me. I have worked hard in the year and a half I have worked in the ICU, and have been hoping since day one that I would eventually get used to it. I have taken every oportunity to learn, been to every confrence or educational opportunity. I have been studying (and continue to do so) on my own time learning about the areas I am weak in. I work 4 12 hour days a week (by choice) in order to improve and give my very all to succeed in this job, and I typically pick up 2-3 extra shifts a month.
I dont think I am horrible at it, but I am not great either. I feel like I would have to be in ICU for 10 years before I could really say I was comfortable. I didnt come into this job expecting it to be rainbows and butterflies, I knew it would be hard. But I just really dont like it.
How soon is too soon before you felt good about moving on? I feel guilty about searching for a new job so soon.
Thank you all for your kind words and advice. I think PRN is what I am going to do. I live alone, not married, and no kids yet so I have been able to save quite a bit in the last year. It is so exciting and nerve racking at the same time just thinking about new possibilities. I think I have enough saved to go PRN for at least a year without having to worry about money. I hope it doesnt take me that long to find a part time gig some where else, but I know the troubles with the economy right now.
I never thought you could burn out in any job after such a short time being employed, but I do admit I dont have much else in my life at this time other then work. Im thinking with the extra time on my hands I will have to pick up a hobby of some kind.
There are a lot of things that I dislike about the unit. I think the biggest reason is that I work on nights and I am usually one of the most senior nurses on the unit (scary right?). We have had an influx of new grads and new-to-ICU nurses, which leaves me as one of the resource RNs to go to for advise. I feel that my short time in the nursing field leaves me and the new hires at a disadvantage since I have to take on the leadership role with such little experience. Also, recently I have been charge a few times per month, it may not seem like a lot but for me, especially since we take patients as charge, its hard. I am responsible for all RRTs and have to respond to all codes as well.
Specializes in Med/Surg, Neuro, ICU, travel RN, Psych.
I did one year of ICU before I switched. I was struggling, didn't seem to be grasping things as well as I felt I should have. It was hard, since I was a strong Med/Surg type nurse, and felt like a horrible nurse when I started ICU. I got in a car accident, broke my wrist and was out of work for a few months. During that time, I had convinced myself that it was the environment. I went back telling myself I was going to have a positive attitude, ignore the complaining, just do my job. I was literally there 2 days when I realized it was the actual job I didn't like. I was struggling, because I didn't enjoy what I was learning, I realized I was pretty much doing it because I had to. I put in for a transfer to psych, which had always been something I thought about trying. I don't regret my decision for a minute. I have now actually decided to get my NP in psych.
Sounds like you are going about it the right way. Take a step back, try something else. That is the great thing with nursing.. you have so many options.
You could try PACU, they like hiring ICU nurses. Just a thought. Or cath lab or interventional radiology? Nothing wrong with changing paths after a year and a half, you gave it a good time. And honestly, I think it's a good thing to change it up, either a different unit or hospital after 2 years..otherwise you can get stuck somewhere and have a hard time getting out.
I am impressed you lasted this long a friend of mine done ICU as well but transfered as sonn as 6 month after this to nicu with less hours. She said it might off been different if she would have worked less hours. I am "only" a cna as of now and understand you have long days, but than again you have to have days where you give your body a break. But I really respect you for putting so much effort into your job.
I think staying PRN is very wise! That way just in case you find the grass is not greener you still have a foot in the door. You might also think about getting into the float pool at your hospital so you can "try on" different floors and specialties and see if anything grabs your attention.
I also agree that you should consider a max of 3 12 hour shifts per week. I truly admire your dedication to advancing your knowledge and experience, but you have to maintain a work-life balance. 4 12's long term is a killer! Take care of yourself and your career will fall into place.
7 I think the biggest reason is that I work on nights and I am usually one of the most senior nurses on the unit (scary right?). We have had an influx of new grads and new-to-ICU nurses, which leaves me as one of the resource RNs to go to for advise.
Oh no wonder! You're still in a position where you should be learning from seniors and now you've been robbed of that very rewardig experience. Plus your lack of confidence is also no wonder since everybody's coming to you for answers that you may not necessarily have. If you had more support maybe you'd have felt different.
Not that it's your responsibility but now I'm thinking.. what's to happen of those new nurses you'll leave behind? Management better think of something serious... like putting an evening educator on the floor or they'll have a problem on their hands.
There is a book or research paper that states it takes 7 years for a nurse to become an expert in whatever his or her chosen area is.
Funny you say that, I've been a nurse 7 years, and the last year that I've been working I can say that I am wayyyy more comfortable in my shoes than I have ever been. Learning will always continue, but I don't get the butterflies nearly as often as I used to in critical situations. Actually I now like going to to those critical situations, had you asked me a year ago I probably would have said I dreaded going to codes. I could function just fine but my adrenaline would be pumping (still does but I guess in a good way now).
To the OP, what is it specifically you think your not good at? Do you feel your too slow? The knowledge base isn't there? ARe your nerves always on high alert? I bet your being hypercritical of yourself. ICU is a hard place to work and the thing about it is it really never gets easier so to speak. The longer your there, the more sick patients they're going to give you, the more skills you will acquire so that feeling of being able to know it all, or at least a lot will never really come but you WILL grow and learn whether you feel like you are or not. Knowledge is power.
I would suggest working less like someone else said. You've put in a good 2 years of time, now its time to relax a bit and maybe focus on things outside of work.
2 years ago I was getting burned out. I started to hate going to work. I ended up switching to the ICU float pool, new management ect and voila, I was fixed! I love my job now but I still do what i love- critical care in whatever form it may be.
When I read why you didn't like ICU, it doesn't sound like it's the ICU that you dislike. You dislike that you're put in a charge position with not enough experience. Some people never want to work charge, and that's fine, and some people do have to work charge with not as much experience, and do fine, but if you need more experience first to feel comfortable working charge, there is nothing wrong with you. I wouldn't give up on ICU's altogether. Your unit is lacking experienced nurses; if you're the most experienced nurse at 1.5 years, there's a problem. You also have to respond to other codes on the floors, and help new nurses when you still may have some questions of your own.
I know night shift tends to have new grads there, but there should be nurses with experience, as well, a good mix of nurses. My unit only takes a certain number of new grads each year. I work nights, and we have a few new grads, and nurses with 1-35 years of experience in my ICU. I bet you'd feel differently if you had a few nurses on your floor that have been there for 10 years or so and you didn't have to work charge. Don't sell yourself short. Wishing you well!
Why don't you switch to days? Lots more support staff, senior nurses, etc. Plus, working 4 night shifts - even if in a row (which would be hard) - will use up 5 days since you're good for nothing on your first day off. And if you don't work them in a row, well all you do is work with absolutely no time to recover! No wonder you feel this way.
I know - I just recently started working nights myself, but in a much lower acuity setting. However, I'm already considering switching to days, simply because it would work better for my family. However, in my case, the most helpful, senior nurses are actually on nights, and for that reason I need to stay for a while.
Cut back on your hours, possibly switch to days (I know from a friend that ICU nursing isn't any harder on days than nights), and if you still don't like it... well, there are lots of other areas of nursing you can go into, I just found my niche after several years!
Bradydown
5 Posts
7 Years!! I have a long way to go!
Thank you all for your kind words and advice. I think PRN is what I am going to do. I live alone, not married, and no kids yet so I have been able to save quite a bit in the last year. It is so exciting and nerve racking at the same time just thinking about new possibilities. I think I have enough saved to go PRN for at least a year without having to worry about money. I hope it doesnt take me that long to find a part time gig some where else, but I know the troubles with the economy right now.
I never thought you could burn out in any job after such a short time being employed, but I do admit I dont have much else in my life at this time other then work. Im thinking with the extra time on my hands I will have to pick up a hobby of some kind.
There are a lot of things that I dislike about the unit. I think the biggest reason is that I work on nights and I am usually one of the most senior nurses on the unit (scary right?). We have had an influx of new grads and new-to-ICU nurses, which leaves me as one of the resource RNs to go to for advise. I feel that my short time in the nursing field leaves me and the new hires at a disadvantage since I have to take on the leadership role with such little experience. Also, recently I have been charge a few times per month, it may not seem like a lot but for me, especially since we take patients as charge, its hard. I am responsible for all RRTs and have to respond to all codes as well.