am I beyond hope?

llg, PhD, RN · May 3, 2005

I think you should get your emotional state and your medications BEFORE you try to work as a nurse. As a staff development instructor, I have worked with a few nurses who switched medications shortly before starting a new job who have had similar problems that you describe. By trying to work when they are impaired by health problems and/or medication, they set themselves up for failure. Don't do that to yourself. If you are having psychological problems and/or taking medications that might effect your job performance -- then you should not be trying to make that difficult transition from student to RN.

Take care of yourself first. Get strong and healthy and clear-headed. Then, and only then, tackle the challenge of the work environment. Set yourself up for success ... then start fresh in a new place ... one that offers a strong orientation program to assist you in your role transition.

Good luck,

llg

stn2003, RN · May 3, 2005

((((hugs))))

Sounds like you are pretty down : ( I suffer from depression too, and when my meds aren't helping me out the way they should it is easy to be apathetic, have a hard time concentrating, lose motivation to do thiings etc. First things first, I would make an appt. with ur doc to get checked out and things straightened out if need be, even if it takes a couple weeks to get in. You and ur health are ur first priorities.

After that, get back on the ball with work. Maybe review a couple of your nursing skills books regarding med administration if it might help. Contact other places you would be interested in working in and apply- do not be afraid to tell them about what happened at your last job, or about the problems you had with your orientation. Tell them you are a new grad and are interested in having at least 12 weeks with the same person, where you are not off on your own. I do not think other workplaces will hold what happened at your first job against you, after all, you are just a new grad, ur still learning : ) none of us are perfect-there isn't a nurse out there that hasn't made a med error before : ) show them you have a desire to be a good, safe practicing nurse and you are bound to get the chance.

Good luck, and keep us updated : )

hi everyone, I posted last week that I was worried about losing my job, and sure enough I did lose my job today. My boss said that I was not a safe nurse, and that I needed a refresher course on medication administration. I am a brand new grad, and i graduated with honors. This is not like me at all. I have been taking an antidepressant that I think may be contributing to my lack of organization. Since I've started taking it, I've had a lot of difficulty concentrating, and I feel apathetic when I should be taking something seriously. This is not like me at all. I can't get a doctor's appointment for at least a week.
I have never felt this low in my life. I felt like I did not get adequate orientation and supervision while I was there. I didn't even get my full 12 weeks in. I was off by myself a lot, and passed to several different preceptors during the six weeks I was there, at least seven different preceptors. My boss said I shouldn't work anywhere until I take a refresher course.
I have never been so ashamed, or just totally surprised at myself. This was a coveted job in OB that I got as a new grad. I feel like I will not be any good in the next place I go to.
Do you guys have any advice about keeping yourself organized during your shift, and keeping up with charting, and med administration? How will I know if I should not be a nurse anymore? Should I just take the hint here?
Thanks

mtymom · May 3, 2005

hi everyone, I posted last week that I was worried about losing my job, and sure enough I did lose my job today. My boss said that I was not a safe nurse, and that I needed a refresher course on medication administration. I am a brand new grad, and i graduated with honors. This is not like me at all. I have been taking an antidepressant that I think may be contributing to my lack of organization. Since I've started taking it, I've had a lot of difficulty concentrating, and I feel apathetic when I should be taking something seriously. This is not like me at all. I can't get a doctor's appointment for at least a week.
I have never felt this low in my life. I felt like I did not get adequate orientation and supervision while I was there. I didn't even get my full 12 weeks in. I was off by myself a lot, and passed to several different preceptors during the six weeks I was there, at least seven different preceptors. My boss said I shouldn't work anywhere until I take a refresher course.
I have never been so ashamed, or just totally surprised at myself. This was a coveted job in OB that I got as a new grad. I feel like I will not be any good in the next place I go to.
Do you guys have any advice about keeping yourself organized during your shift, and keeping up with charting, and med administration? How will I know if I should not be a nurse anymore? Should I just take the hint here?
Thanks

Please don't be so hard on yourself. It sounds like the medication you are on is not working for you. I suggest that you do talk to your doctor about the medication. In the mean time find some refresher courses and take them it never hurts to learn more. It also sounds like the medication is making you more depressed. Be careful that you watch yourself in the time before you can get in to the doctor. If you have bad thoughts or feelings get to the ER immediately. Once you get your medication straightened out you might find that you are your old self again. Be patient. One thing that helps me is to carry a little notebook in my pocket and I would write down things that needed to be charted later. I would do this with meds also. I would also write down any reactions to meds in this notebook. Hope this helps and keep posting on here so I can see how you are doing. Good luck!

NurseFirst · May 3, 2005

hi everyone, I posted last week that I was worried about losing my job, and sure enough I did lose my job today. My boss said that I was not a safe nurse, and that I needed a refresher course on medication administration. I am a brand new grad, and i graduated with honors. This is not like me at all. I have been taking an antidepressant that I think may be contributing to my lack of organization. Since I've started taking it, I've had a lot of difficulty concentrating, and I feel apathetic when I should be taking something seriously. This is not like me at all. I can't get a doctor's appointment for at least a week.
I have never felt this low in my life. I felt like I did not get adequate orientation and supervision while I was there. I didn't even get my full 12 weeks in. I was off by myself a lot, and passed to several different preceptors during the six weeks I was there, at least seven different preceptors. My boss said I shouldn't work anywhere until I take a refresher course.
I have never been so ashamed, or just totally surprised at myself. This was a coveted job in OB that I got as a new grad. I feel like I will not be any good in the next place I go to.
Do you guys have any advice about keeping yourself organized during your shift, and keeping up with charting, and med administration? How will I know if I should not be a nurse anymore? Should I just take the hint here?
Thanks

The key to getting psych appointments (please don't abuse this) is to say "I am in crisis." There are times I wish I'd known this, as it would have made my life a lot easier--and gotten the care I needed sooner--instead of waiting 4 or 6 weeks for an appointment. Losing your job (or if you think you are in danger of losing your job) because of your psych state IS a crisis; no job == no money == what? no food? no housing? etc. It might be able to get you out on medical LOA (with disability pay) while you straighten your mental state out)--at least when you have a job. You still may be eligible to get disability benefits if you've been paying into a state disability fund. This can give you some breathing room, a chance to get some therapy (remember, the best approach for treating depression is a COMBINATION of pharmaceutical and talk therapy.) If nothing else, therapists frequently know of community resources, support groups, etc. that can be helpful to you; remember, they have lots of experiencing in helping people explore and find alternatives for whatever they need (including refresher courses). They might not be able to tell you where you could find a refresher course, but can give you the push as to where to explore--and frequently will also ask their colleagues.

As to discussing your previous experience in future job interviews--you may want to discuss this with a therapist and role-play approaches; you don't want to come off as critical about a previous employer--you'll have to walk a fine line here; you don't want to come across as embittered, blaming or exhibit sour grapes. If there are instructors from your school who think highly of you (and surely there must be, otherwise I'm assuming you wouldn't have gotten this supposedly "plum" job.), you may want to discuss your situation with them.

Hope this helps, wishing you well--and keep us posted!

NurseFirst

Dorito, ASN, RN · May 3, 2005

Hang in there. This may be a blessing in disguise. Personally I don't think anyone should go into a specialty area until they've got a good background in med-surg. Usually these areas are more consistent with new grads and their preceptor program may be better for you. Don't give up the shift. God doesn't close one door unless he opens another. You'll be a great nurse someday...give it time!

Tweety, BSN, RN · May 3, 2005

Best wishes to you. If you recently graduated with honors, you don't need a refresher course. What this manager needs is a more nuturing environment for the new grad that tailors the orientation to meet the needs of the person. Sounds like it was sink or swim.

As was mentioned above. Get your ducks in a row emotionally. Many nurses work while taking antidepressenants and function well. If this medication is not working, perhaps another medication that doesn't make you so apathetic and depressed.

Don't have much advice, just want to wish you well. Hang in there. Hopefully, you'll find a job that nutures you as a new grad and is supporitive of your needs.

sissyjaye · May 3, 2005

i feel your pain and want to add that i am a first semester student in the lpn program and have had my downs too so keep working at it and get yourself straightened out first. you and your patients depend on it.

GN1974 · May 3, 2005

I totally agree with Tweety! I am also a new grad and going through orientation. I have the same preceptor and follow her schedule...this is my third week. It is all new and overwhelming!!! Knock on wood, but so far things have been going ok, and I seem to get plenty of support from my preceptor and other nurses on the unit. I really think you weren't given a good orientation for a new grad. The hospital system I am working at has a program entirely devoted to new grad nurses. We have three full days classes with topics related to a new grad, monthly round tables, and workshops twice a month--all paid. I would advise that you look for a position that offers you some support. My unit also has a unit educator that I meet with ever so often to discuss how my orientation is going. Don't be so hard on yourself--like Tweety wrote, you needed a more nurturing environment.

Karen

GingerSue · May 4, 2005

Best wishes to you. If you recently graduated with honors, you don't need a refresher course. What this manager needs is a more nuturing environment for the new grad

I agree - you don't need a refresher course. But maybe reflect about why this manager has said this - is it because of med errors? Is it because of being knowledgeable about medications? If it is about errors - make sure you do all the 5 (or more) checks. If it is about knowledge - that is also manageable.

Hope things go well for you.

mugwump · May 4, 2005

6 weeks new grad ob 7 diffrent preceptors (right there is a set up for failure)

I don't care what meds your on. chop this up to learning experience and fight for your orientation if you don't feel like you've had enough ask for more.

Morguein · May 4, 2005

I really feel for you. 6 weeks is not enough time to thoroughly understand your specialized job. And 7 preceptors is just way too many to have. I'm with the others; if you graduated with honors, you most certainly have the intelligence and ability to give out meds and look them up if need be. But no matter how smart you are, 6 weeks orientation for a new grad will never be enough. There's just no way. Dealing with the stress of being a new grad, in a stressful nursing job can easily make one depressed. I have many many days where I feel inadequate as a nurse and become very depressed. I don't take medication myself, but I try to do things to counteract my sadness like walking with my music playing real loud in my ear phones, being outdoors in the sun (The sun increases your serotonin levels which are your "happy" hormones), going to the movies with someone fun, etc... As far as organizing at work; this is what I do to keep myself on task: I have a sheet of paper for each patient I have (I usually have 2 since I work in ICU). On the front, I write down everything given to me during report and anything important about the patient I need to know. On the back, I list all the hours I will be with this patient. And next to each appropriate hour, I write down all the meds to be given, all the labs that need to be drawn at that hour, any blood sugars that need to be done, tests to be performed, etc... I also have a "things to do" section on my sheet and this is where I write down things that need to be done sometime on my shift, but there's no specific hour for them. Like I might write down "get consent for Tracheostomy procedure." I hope this helps. If I didn't write down everything that needed to be done on my cheet sheet, I'd be in trouble everyday for forgetting to do stuff. I wish you well. Keep us posted! We're all with you.