I can't believe co-worker took my venting complaints to boss!

[lifein08]

Hello.

[nervousnurse, ASN]

Although I agree with some of what's been said, I was sooo happy to read "canesdukegirl's" post.....because I have made VERY good friends at work!!! Yes, of course I've regretted trusting people and yes there are backstabbers where I work (and it's gotten WORSE!).

HOWEVER.....:) I have the sweetest friends (they are a cute couple, both nurses) who I used to work with eleven years ago......we had SO much fun after work, going out to breakfast, laughing, venting, etc. Then we moved 11 years ago, and guess what---we STILL get together and have a blast whenever we visit.....they are so sweet and were SO happy for me when I went on to get my RN, they FLEW themselves and their 2 children in to be at my graduation!!!!! :redpinkhe So, yes, it IS possible!

I've been blessed that after working with someone a while, I can assess how trustworthy they are. Lemme tell ya, this friend and I worked in a very stressful floor together for 6 years, and her hubby worked ICU--- omg, when we went to breakfast after our shift, we would vent/ gossip, most importantly laugh ourselves into tears!!! Oh, and by the way, I also had/have close non-work/ non-nurse friends, but I find that sometimes after a verrry hard shift, only nurses can really relate, AND---I think it's so healthy to VENT!!

I also have very good friends where I work now. We sometimes go to lunch to celebrate birthdays,etc. ...and yes, we DO vent about work, I am just VERY choosy who I hang out with. I've also told them I do NOT talk about my true friends, and I don't. I wish everyone could experience this!!!

Just wanted to be clear, I also agree with those who say keep things to yourself, don't talk to anyone about anything but light/ superficial/ pleasant topics, etc...my friendships COULD come back to haunt me someday, and of course I've also have negative experiences, but VERY rare....annnd, life is short! I STILL can't believe that my former coworkers that I moved away from 11 years ago flew themselves and their 2 sweet daugthers just to see me graduate!!!!! :heartbeat:nurse:

[cherrybreeze, ADN, RN]

I've been guilty of venting (including about coworkers), I'm no angel. I've also said, at the time (and I believe it now):

I'm not naive enough to think that nothing is said about ME when I"m not there.

Usually I catch myself if I find myself doing it, and make an effort to stop. Sometimes, when you have a bad day, once you open that door it's hard to close it! Venting IS healthy, but it's definitely best to vent AWAY from work and co-workers.

[Not_A_Hat_Person, RN]

I was in the same situation. I once vented to my charge nurse (evenings) about the med cart not being stocked for the umpteenth time. She told the day charge nurse. The next time I came for report, the entire day shift ganged up on me about it.

[chevyv, BSN, RN]

I have a difficult time keeping my comments to myself when a coworker stabs me in the back. I would have to tell her how grateful I was that she went to the manager and told him/her our conversation and that from now on to go ahead and talk with anyone else instead of myself. Makes me so angry. We are stressed enough and shouldn't have to worry about some brown noser browning their way to the top on our coat tails. :mad::mad:

[anotherone, BSN, RN]

Also, keep any work-related comments to yourself, your spouse, and friends who don't work at your facility. Nothing on Facebook, Twitter, or blogs, especially.

Don't share them with anyone. spouse may turn on you during the divorce settlement. Friends quickly become enemies....... don't share anything ever., unless you are willing to " go public" with it and let everyone know. if you can take that risk than feel free to complain. the people who vent to others on my floor are the same ones who whine to the managers.

[anotherone, BSN, RN]

I try to live by trusting no one with anything. anything i share as trivial as it may be i do so thinking that that person will tell everyone. this is a very stressful job and it is sometimes hard to keep it all in and never talk about the poor staffing, crazy co workers, etc.........i guess that just adds to the stress, but unemployment won't make anything better. those that say to just vent to a spouse or a friend, can these people be more trustworthy than a co-workers? sometimes coworkers have more to gain by tattling, but that is not the only incentive people have to, "report things" or stir that pot. never know when a relationship /friendship will go south..............