Our unit has hired a male new grad RN to work in L&D, he starts later this summer. I do not have any experience with this situation because I think it is rare and I only have 2 years experience in L&D.
Some of our nurses are concerned with having this RN do checks without a chaperone and insist that having a male RN will be like a millstone around the neck of the rest of us who are already overworked.
Not one to turn up my nose at something new, I am looking for RNs with experience in working with a male RN in L&D. Better yet, any male RNs willing to share their experiences so that I can share information with my co-workers.
Psgrd....have you even considered the FACT that many women are survivors of sexual and physical abuse/assault committed by men?
Not all men abuse women by any means however the vast majority of victims of sexual abuse and assault are female and the perpetrator is more often than not, male. For the women that have experienced this, having a male do a pelvic check on them could be extremely traumatic. They shouldn't have to be forced to go through this because you say that it is "discrimination" to prefer a female provider.
This is not discrimination, it is the pts preference, just as some male pts prefer to be taken care of by male nurses.
Being sensitive to the needs of the patient in situations like this should supersede the nurses personal preferences.
It isn't about the nurse, it's about the pt.
Tierd and misinformed argument. I have taken care of many, many patients with long Hx of sexual assult. When they come back with another pregnancy guess who they ask for?
Many people do not hate or fear all men after a sexual assult in fact most do not. If anything a careing male nurse can repair soemof the damage done to them.
I have no patientce for a nurse postign this type of garbage, all you are doign is tryign to justify your discrimination of others in your professtion. before you flame me sit back and exmine your own feelings and motivations. honestly you are posting this stuff to justify and defend your opinion about someones gendor as it relates to their job, ..nm
If you would or wouldn't ever let someone run you from a field that you like, I couldn't care less, but I know that I wouldn't.
As I said, I don't discriminate based on gender, race ,culture, or religion. In my personal opinion those are stupid things to discriminate against. I would be quick (and always am) to discriminate based upon attitude. Otherwise I make my provider choices by PREFERENCE.
And just in case anyone was wondering, in addition to me preferring a female OB or Nurse over a male, I also PREFER a doc or a nurse that doesn't have bad breath, BO, or smokes.
And if a patient ever asks for an escort while you are caring for, them, and you are told you need one, whether you get it in writing or not, elaborate on what a lawyer would do, and who that would scare?
A lawyer and judge would tell you the same thing that I have been saying, a patient has the right to choose, and be involved in the planning and implementation of THEIR care (didn't we learn this in Nursing Fundamentals). And if their choice to have someone else in the room offends you, it essentially means nothing to anyone but YOU, and that is the only person it matters to, if you let it.
I would suggest you get a tougher skin, and not care if someone asks or says that you need an escort with a pt, or if a pt does not want you to care for them for any reason. I mean really who cares? I know I don't, b/c it's not going to cut my paycheck one bit.
I learned when I was a CNA, that you can't let patients, policies, or administration get to you. I refuse to let my JOB create baggage. I do have a life to live.
stop inserting the patient into this, this discussion did not start questions abotu a patients prefferance, you and others draged that in to provide a cover for your own discrimination.
sexisum in nurseing is not from patients its from other nurses. that is what we are talkign about stop tryig to pin your biggoted attitude on patients.
I would say support his as ya'll any other new grad. If a patient has issue, follow through with her request, and just assuer the new grad, that it is not him personally, it's the patoents choice with their issue, experiences, and preferences; and he shouldn't let it bother him.
As I said before if the hospital does or doesn't have a policy on it doesn't really matter much, it will all be up to the patient
As I stated before no discriminaton, just preference. Let me elaborate.
I PREFER not to have a male nurse of Ob/Gyn because of the following reasons:
-I feel that a female can be more in tune with a females body
-A female who has actually gone through childbirth can actually empathize with what I may be going through (I should mention that I also do not ever want a female ObGyn or L&D Nurse, that has Not gone through childbirth)
So using your rational if you had cancer you would like your nurse to have had cancer as well so she can actually empathize with what you might be going through- !!!
I take it that you are a nurse so you have the understanding that nurses are trained professionals not just somebody picked up from the street thrown in scrubs and sent on to the floor!
Yes the family have a chioce but let them make that choice - I have been a
nurse and midwife for over twenty years and I can count on one hand how many times a patient has refused care due to gender- my experiences is that the nurses have more of a problem with the gender of the nurse than the patients do!
stop inserting the patient into this, this discussion did not start questions abotu a patients prefferance, you and others draged that in to provide a cover for your own discrimination.
sexisum in nurseing is not from patients its from other nurses. that is what we are talkign about stop tryig to pin your biggoted attitude on patients.
Please, please, and please some more.
Whether the OP mentioned this are not, it is about and boils down to the patient.
If it weren't for POSSIBLE PATIENT ISSUES, the OP wouldn't have had any concern at all. After all, if a pt doesn't care why should anyone else.
Stop trying to pin the sexist label on someone, b/c of your hurt feeling. It boils down to the patient plain and simple.
And if you feel that is incorrect, feel free to elaborate on WHAT OTHER REASON the Op, would have to pose the original question.
Better yet, maybe we should ask her, if she is still here, what her cause for concern is, if not possible patient issues.
So using your rational if you had cancer you would like your nurse to have had cancer as well so she can actually empathize with what you might be going through- !!!
I take it that you are a nurse so you have the understanding that nurses are trained professionals not just somebody picked up from the street thrown in scrubs and sent on to the floor!
Yes the family have a chioce but let them make that choice - I have been a nurse and midwife for over twenty years and I can count on one hand how many times a patient has refused care due to gender- my experiences is that the nurses have more of a problem with the gender of the nurse than the patients do!
Actually a nusre who had cancer, of had a close family member with cancer would be my first choice over one who had not experienced those things.
Yes as nurses we are trained how to care for the human body, and emotions; but with that said, caring and providing sympathy doesn't compare to caring, and being able to provide empathy through a similar experience.
patients and families do have choices, and I would never stop them from making them. Just as I and my family also have choices.
What you have encountered in your career has nothing to do with me, as I am not trying to be the "general and standard" patient.
Nor does what you have encounted have any bearings, what other nurses have and will experience, nor the choices of other patients.
Actually a nusre who had cancer, of had a close family member with cancer would be my first choice over one who had not experienced those things.
Yes as nurses we are trained how to care for the human body, and emotions; but with that said, caring and providing sympathy doesn't compare to caring, and being able to provide empathy through a similar experience.
patients and families do have choices, and I would never stop them from making them. Just as I and my family also have choices.
What you have encountered in your career has nothing to do with me, as I am not trying to be the "general and standard" patient.
Nor does what you have encounted have any bearings, what other nurses have and will experience, nor the choices of other patients.
I feel that you are a little confused- Empathy appreciation of anothers persons feelings and problems with out experiencing the same emotional reactions- using skills such as objectivity and critcal thinking- NOT to be confused with sympathy or pity which is gained from experience of a situation and usally non objective and noncritical.
A highly trained nurse with experience can use objectivity and critcal thinking to support and care for patient with compassion and compitance.
Thank you for the respect that you have shown me for years of experience knowing that the opions I give come from well thought out rational thinking.
I feel that you are a little confused- Empathy appreciation of anothers persons feelings and problems with out experiencing the same emotional reactions- using skills such as objectivity and critcal thinking- NOT to be confused with sympathy or pity which is gained from experience of a situation and usally non objective and noncritical.
A highly trained nurse with experience can use objectivity and critcal thinking to support and care for patient with compassion and compitance.
Thank you for the respect that you have shown me for years of experience knowing that the opions I give come from well thought out rational thinking.
Actually the definitions of empathy and sympathy depend on the dictionary you get them from , as much as they person. For example
sympathy - A feeling or an expression of pity or sorrow for the distress of another; compassion or commiseration.
empathy - Identification with and understanding of another's situation, feelings, and motives.
A highly trained nurse with experience can use objectivity and critcal thinking to support and care for patient with compassion and compitance
Verry very true. Now imagine the same nurse, who has being through the issue the patient is currently facing. Which on would you choose? Some may not care, but as a PERSONAL CHOICE, I do.
Whether the OP mentioned this are not, it is about and boils down to the patient.
If it weren't for POSSIBLE PATIENT ISSUES, the OP wouldn't have had any concern at all. After all, if a pt doesn't care why should anyone else.
Stop trying to pin the sexist label on someone, b/c of your hurt feeling. It boils down to the patient plain and simple.
And if you feel that is incorrect, feel free to elaborate on WHAT OTHER REASON the Op, would have to pose the original question.
Better yet, maybe we should ask her, if she is still here, what her cause for concern is, if not possible patient issues.
And what I am saying is that objections to male nurses are offten rationalized by saying "the patient is uncomfortable , they have a choice, run men out of OB"
when in reality it is a very rare thing.
also i find it inersting that ppl immidatly attack my compassion as a nurse, so you really think Id exist long in OB if I werent compassionate, ther are allot of diffacult things in OB and the things that keep you comeign back are the things that require compassion.
also saying I need a thinker skin is BS. how would you feel if new nurses always felt they had the right to question you becuse your a man? if you had to prove your self to every nurse that walked on the floor, even though you were there for years and they had the right to walk up to and mention how "strange it was to see a male nurse there?"
a littel over a year ago I had a death in my family, becuse of it Ive struggled and have taken soem time off here and there. peopel were real nice but a few have taken the oppertunity to start in with the same old crap "men are lazy", "who would want a male" nurse blah blah. I find myself haveing to prove myself all over again. things I thought I had put to rest are back again ppl dotn trust me. I used to be a charge nurse that attended every delivery. Now Im questioned when I go into another room to help, Im questioned when I check my own patients. You go threw that and then tell me to get a thicker skin. it never stops , if i let my guard down for a molment people are right there to spread this crap to anyone who will listen.
I cna take comments here and there or the jokes at my expence but when ppl I have worked with for years are once again requiring me to provemyself to them, its a little much. turn the tables and say I was a women workign in a male dominated feild, how would that look then?
I chose a female ob on purpose with my first child in order to have someone who could relate to me and help me with this first exciting and scary experience. She had gone through child birth so obviously she would be caring, right? She was very distant, cold, uncaring and NOT empathetic. Being a female, having gone through childbirth, etc., does not guarantee anything. She induced me at my due date for no other reason except she was going out of town. I was young, not a nurse and had no idea that I could counter the doc's decision.
I have a family member whose son had cancer - do you think that changed her fundamental nature? No. She stole her son's oxycontin to sell for meth. I have another family with cancer. Did that change her grumpy nature and enable her to reach out to others with cancer? No.
I don't think empathy has alot to do with having been through an experience. Empathy depends on the kind of person you are.
I am surprised that male ob's do cervical checks w/o an escort. Our docs (male or female) won't come in the room w/o a nurse at their side. And at my pelvic/paps, there is a nurse or MA in the room.
As to advice for the op - I would orient the new nurse just like any new nurse to obstetrics. And maybe get them involved here at allnurses and the ob forum for insights into what may happen and how to handle those instances when a woman does not want a male nurse.
As for Dayray - I've read his posts for a long time and he is an awesome OB nurse.
And what I am saying is that objections to male nurses are offten rationalized by saying "the patient is uncomfortable , they have a choice, run men out of OB"
Okay, while that may be true, I don't recall anyone in this thread saying any such thing. And from your fist post you've been on the attack. I am fine with males in the OB, it is just my preference not to have one caring for me. For pts who don't have some issue, great.
also i find it inersting that ppl immidatly attack my compassion as a nurse, so you really think Id exist long in OB if I werent compassionate, ther are allot of diffacult things in OB and the things that keep you comeign back are the things that require compassion.
You compassion was only "attacked" if you want to call it that, when you generalized the reasons, a female would not want a male OB nurse as purely discriminatory.
also saying I need a thinker skin is BS. how would you feel if new nurses always felt they had the right to question you becuse your a man? if you had to prove your self to every nurse that walked on the floor, even though you were there for years and they had the right to walk up to and mention how "strange it was to see a male nurse there?"
Okay, this may get a little wordy. Number one I wouldn't care if any nurse felt they had the right to question me about anything. I would however tell her/him to STEP OFF in the most professional way possible. I would never feel like I had to prove myself to anyone but myself ,and my maker. And if I ever got a comment saying it was strange in any specialization, I would again tell him/her to STEP OFF, in a professional way. If that same person came back to me, with it again in some way, shape, or form, I would say the following:
STEP OFF!!!...
As I said in another post, life is too short for things like that. Someone is always going to think or feel something negative about you. So, if you are going to let that anger you, and take your joy, fine; but again I wouldn't.
You don't need other people to validate you. And, you caring about a patients choice, or a collegues questing you, is just screaming "I need validation, but can't get it."
You are in a field dominated by another sex, you'll always be questioned. Are you always going to let that get to you? Why let people, that can't make you or break you, have an effect on YOUR life?
Take my advice, shake it off, don't bring it home, and stop letting people steal your joy. They don't care about you, so why should you care about what they may say, think, or feel?
a littel over a year ago I had a death in my family, becuse of it Ive struggled and have taken soem time off here and there. peopel were real nice but a few have taken the oppertunity to start in with the same old crap "men are lazy", "who would want a male" nurse blah blah. I find myself haveing to prove myself all over again. things I thought I had put to rest are back again ppl dotn trust me. I used to be a charge nurse that attended every delivery. Now Im questioned when I go into another room to help, Im questioned when I check my own patients. You go threw that and then tell me to get a thicker skin. it never stops , if i let my guard down for a molment people are right there to spread this crap to anyone who will listen.
First, I apologize for your loss. Second, who cares if people start with "men are lazy", "who would want a male" nurse? You in reality don't have to prove your self to anyone. But since, you give other people the power to validate or reject you, you are giving them that power, and making life much harder than it really is.Let me let you in on a secret, people will always question you. They will find any reason too. And do you know why? Because those people, have nothing better to do in their lives. They have no joy, so they have made it their mission, to make it harder for any one that they think they can prey on, and you let them. As long as you let them, they will do it. If someone questions you, in no uncertain terms set them straight, then shake it off, and be happy. And a word of advice, coworkers are not freinds, and never mix the two. Keep home at home, and work at work.
I cna take comments here and there or the jokes at my expence but when ppl I have worked with for years are once again requiring me to provemyself to them, its a little much. turn the tables and say I was a women workign in a male dominated feild, how would that look then?
You shouldn't take comments or jokes here and there. I would advise that you don't. Why should you? And again you only have to prove yourself to people if you give them that power. Lastly, it happens all of the time. The smart women, won't take sh*t off of anyone, the others will get preyed upon until they run away.
FocusRN
868 Posts
I was thinking the same, which is why I DO discriminate based upon attitude.