How will our new grad Male RN work in L &D?

[ragingmomster]

Our unit has hired a male new grad RN to work in L&D, he starts later this summer. I do not have any experience with this situation because I think it is rare and I only have 2 years experience in L&D.

Some of our nurses are concerned with having this RN do checks without a chaperone and insist that having a male RN will be like a millstone around the neck of the rest of us who are already overworked.

Not one to turn up my nose at something new, I am looking for RNs with experience in working with a male RN in L&D. Better yet, any male RNs willing to share their experiences so that I can share information with my co-workers.

[FocusRN]

I chose a female ob on purpose with my first child in order to have someone who could relate to me and help me with this first exciting and scary experience. She had gone through child birth so obviously she would be caring, right? She was very distant, cold, uncaring and NOT empathetic. Being a female, having gone through childbirth, etc., does not guarantee anything. She induced me at my due date for no other reason except she was going out of town. I was young, not a nurse and had no idea that I could counter the doc's decision.

I have a family member whose son had cancer - do you think that changed her fundamental nature? No. She stole her son's oxycontin to sell for meth. I have another family with cancer. Did that change her grumpy nature and enable her to reach out to others with cancer? No.

I don't think empathy has alot to do with having been through an experience. Empathy depends on the kind of person you are.

I am surprised that male ob's do cervical checks w/o an escort. Our docs (male or female) won't come in the room w/o a nurse at their side. And at my pelvic/paps, there is a nurse or MA in the room.

As to advice for the op - I would orient the new nurse just like any new nurse to obstetrics. And maybe get them involved here at allnurses and the ob forum for insights into what may happen and how to handle those instances when a woman does not want a male nurse.

As for Dayray - I've read his posts for a long time and he is an awesome OB nurse.

steph

I'll try to make this one short.

If a person is distant and cold by nature nothing will change that. If you make your OB go through an interview process you can usually spot that. I am right now in my third pregnancy, and I am interviewing right now. I have interviewed seven OBs, and have narrowed it down to three, all of which I have follow up interviews with next week, and I'll make my finanl decision, when I here back from their references.

The way i look at it the OB I chooice, will be for the duration of my pregnancy "employed" for lack of a better word by me, and I will make sure, I get my monies worth.

If your doc was that cold you should have been able to see that early on. You choose to proceed with a doc that was cold. I would bet that she was cold before her children also.

A theif is a theif, what more can you expect. I don't even think I have to elaborate there.

And did your other family member with cancer, by your admisison, is grumpy, nothing would ever change that.

I never said that going through a certain life event, or sickness would change a person's natural nature. What I said was, a person with a naturally caring nature, providing care to a particular person would be enhanced if that person had gone through the same thing or something similar. Just not in as many words.

[Ekklesia]

I am equally discriminatory () with male MDs as far as my lady parts goes, if that helps at all.

LOL! It's good to keep a sense of humor in these highly incendiary discussions.

I just asked my wife about her preference, and she said she'd prefer an all male staff; nurses, docs, techs...

If she has a pelvic exam done a female will NOT be doing that.

I wonder if anyone here perceives this as sexism and/or discriminatory.

[FocusRN]

LOL! It's good to keep a sense of humor in these highly incendiary discussions.

I just asked my wife about her preference, and she said she'd prefer an all male staff; nurses, docs, techs...

If she has a pelvic exam done a female will NOT be doing that.

I wonder if anyone here perceives this as sexism and/or discriminatory.

Personally, at first thought, not really. But if you would elaborate on her reasons, I am sure that would tell for sure.

[Ekklesia]

Personally, at first thought, not really. But if you would elaborate on her reasons, I am sure that would tell for sure.

In a previous post you said:

...it still all really boils down to the personal preference of the patient. That really goes for all care.

And ultimately, the patients of the day will decide the way it is that day, period, no matter what hospital policy may be.

If it is "all about the patient" then her reasons should not matter.

I'm not picking on you here, just trying to work out some logical, objective solution.

[joeb1, ASN, BSN, RN]

my advice is that the new guy will work out just fine. treat him no differently around the nurses station than antone else. as a male ob nurse, i am 100 percent towards patients choice and i really don't care what the reason is. i am glad the op isn't afraid of somthing new. please be supportive, it sounds like some other nurses may not be. it would be unfair to assume the patients won't let him care for them, he wants ob and should be given as many opportunities as possible............

as for those who only want a nuse who can relate through personal experience, i have been refused before, i will assure you,and it will happen again.but i've also had my female preceptor and other staff nurses get refused far more times than i. i was very suprised when i started in this field how many patients and family made comments about how i did a better job than te females as far as keeping them covered up when possible...just something to think about when posters begin the argument that a woman who has "been there and has the same parts" maks a better,more caring ob nurse. if thats what you want in your nurse, im ok with it, but please don't make it out as if all the world works this way.

[Spidey's mom, ADN, BSN, RN]

i'll try to make this one short.

if a person is distant and cold by nature nothing will change that. if you make your ob go through an interview process you can usually spot that. i am right now in my third pregnancy, and i am interviewing right now. i have interviewed seven obs, and have narrowed it down to three, all of which i have follow up interviews with next week, and i'll make my finanl decision, when i here back from their references.

the way i look at it the ob i chooice, will be for the duration of my pregnancy "employed" for lack of a better word by me, and i will make sure, i get my monies worth.

if your doc was that cold you should have been able to see that early on. you choose to proceed with a doc that was cold. i would bet that she was cold before her children also.

a theif is a theif, what more can you expect. i don't even think i have to elaborate there.

and did your other family member with cancer, by your admisison, is grumpy, nothing would ever change that.

i never said that going through a certain life event, or sickness would change a person's natural nature. what i said was, a person with a naturally caring nature, providing care to a particular person would be enhanced if that person had gone through the same thing or something similar. just not in as many words.

i was responding to your now admittedly punctuated wording here:

-i feel that a female can be more in tune with a females body

-a female who has actually gone through childbirth can actually empathize with what i may be going through (i should mention that i also do not ever want a female obgyn or l&d nurse, that has not gone through childbirth)

i have a pet peeve against generalizing. like the "nurses who eat their young" myth. or that a woman politician will be more caring and kind and not start wars. as if women or nurses are monoliths with no individual thoughts of their own.

i work with a nurse who has had two children, who are grown. she refuses to do l&d because she says she would not have the patience to handle women screaming in pain - this feeling overcomes her and she wants to bop them on the head and tell them to shut up.

your saying that you interview your prospective doctors put a whole new spin on this . . . . . it isn't that they are women per se . . . .it is that they pass your interview process to boot.

nothing wrong with that. at all. but it changes your argument because you weed out all the "cold" or "unfeeling" or "non-empathetic" female docs prior.

as to why i stayed with the "cold" doc . . .i was young and it was 24 years ago and doctors were still god back then;). you just didn't question them. i did with subsequent pregnancies although with my last i went to an all women's center "women caring for women" and i have to say that some of those women were not very caring.

that brings in another question though - just because someone doesn't have a good bedside manner, does that make them a bad doc? i know one particular doc who is not all that friendly but i'd choose him over the touchy-feeley doc in a heartbeat in an emergency.

i'm not saying you can't choose who you want - i'm not saying you should choose a male doc. i'm simply saying that being a female doesn't guarantee anything.

we females are not perfect . . . . or perfectly empathetic.

steph

[Spidey's mom, ADN, BSN, RN]

my advice is that the new guy will work out just fine. treat him no differently around the nurses station than antone else. as a male ob nurse, i am 100 percent towards patients choice and i really don't care what the reason is. i am glad the op isn't afraid of somthing new. please be supportive, it sounds like some other nurses may not be. it would be unfair to assume the patients won't let him care for them, he wants ob and should be given as many opportunities as possible............

as for those who only want a nuse who can relate through personal experience, i have been refused before, i will assure you,and it will happen again.but i've also had my female preceptor and other staff nurses get refused far more times than i. i was very suprised when i started in this field how many patients and family made comments about how i did a better job than te females as far as keeping them covered up when possible...just something to think about when posters begin the argument that a woman who has "been there and has the same parts" maks a better,more caring ob nurse. if thats what you want in your nurse, im ok with it, but please don't make it out as if all the world works this way.

This is a good post . . . . you sound like a great and empathetic nurse. :flowersfo

steph

[ragingmomster, BSN, MSN, RN]

I'm sorry forgot to answer the OP , who does seem to be asking an honest question.

Tell your new grad to use his judgment. Most of the time the patient has family around but in those rare cases where he is forced into a situation where he need to make this decision he simply needs to use common sense. If the patient has been making inappropriate comments threw out the day or if its a patient that looks like she thinks your going to do something awful to her or if she is mentally incapacitated and unpredictable have someone in the room with you. However if this a patient that he has a good nurse/ patient relationship with and doesn't act afraid of him at all then don't go and ask someone else to come in.....

If you truly want to support this new grad, don't even mention his gender, I promise you he is aware of it and I promise you he agonizes over what other people think of him and is terrified of you. Just in telling his friends and family what he is going to do I bet you he has already been shamed, laughed at and made fun of.

Also be carfule of the things you say, other nurses and patients probably aren't sure what to think. It's a situation many have not encountered b4. Let them draw their own conclusions don't assume they are going to be uncomfortable because you can easily implant and idea like that in their head. If he is kind and respectful patients really are not going to think its all that weird

Dayray - Thank You.

I started this thread with someone like you in mind. It is unfortunate that is has become hijacked and full of animosity.

Can you tell me, does your institution have a specific policy regarding men in your position?

Since someone pointed out that MDs take a chaperone on the recommendation of the AMA, I wonder if AWHONN has a guideline.

Ragingmomster

[ragingmomster, BSN, MSN, RN]

And if you feel that is incorrect, feel free to elaborate on WHAT OTHER REASON the Op, would have to pose the original question.

Better yet, maybe we should ask her, if she is still here, what her cause for concern is, if not possible patient issues.

Thanks Dream_Nurse,

My cause is not for concern but for education. This is a new situation for me and my co-workers and I am hearing doubts and questions everyday and this young man has not even started working yet!

Just looking to be supportive in every way possible because no matter the sex, I want new blood here.

[joeb1, ASN, BSN, RN]

steph- i don't know why you think my post is good. for the good lords sake i can't even capitalize....(i don't think it is possible on this handheld, at least not possible for someone tech challenged like me.) and as for me being empathetic, more often i feel empathetic minus the emp. anyway, thanks for the flowers the smiley thingy gave me!

[Spidey's mom, ADN, BSN, RN]

steph- i don't know why you think my post is good. for the good lords sake i can't even capitalize....(i don't think it is possible on this handheld, at least not possible for someone tech challenged like me.) and as for me being empathetic, more often i feel empathetic minus the emp. anyway, thanks for the flowers the smiley thingy gave me!

:flowersfo You can see smilies on a handheld?

steph

[FocusRN]

In a previous post you said:

If it is "all about the patient" then her reasons should not matter.

I'm not picking on you here, just trying to work out some logical, objective solution.

Did I say that her reasons, mattered in any, way , shape, or form?

I said:

Personally, at first thought, not really. But if you would elaborate on her reasons, I am sure that would tell for sure.

In response to:

I just asked my wife about her preference, and she said she'd prefer an all male staff; nurses, docs, techs...

If she has a pelvic exam done a female will NOT be doing that.

I wonder if anyone here perceives this as sexism and/or discriminatory.

I never said that her reasons why, mattered. I said that I didn't percieve her choice as discriminatory at first thought, but if you would elaborate on her reasons for her choice, I may percieve it as discriminatory.Not that it matters. But a patient does not have to state their reasons why, because they have a right to choose. This is an online forum, not a patient care setting.