How To Spot a Workplace Bully, Part One

Having the correct diagnosis for a workplace problem helps with finding the right solution. Labeling every conflict as bullying can lead to disciplinary overkill or its flip-side, a devaluation of the actual cases. At the same time, applying typical problem-solving and conflict resolution tools can put the target in harm's way. How then, do you identify a bully in the workplace?

Updated: Feb 8, 2020

You go to the ED with chest pain. The medical team puts you on oxygen, draws blood for labs and gives you aspirin, Plavix and morphine. And then you get a battery of tests ranging from an EKG to a trip to the cath lab. Why? Because it's crucial to determine exactly what kind of "chest pain" has brought you in. Are you having an MI or non-life threatening angina? Is pain referring from your hot gall bladder? Or are your coronary arteries so blocked that you need immediate bypass surgery? Homing in on the correct diagnosis is an essential step toward deciding the proper treatment.

In the same vein (pardon the pun), "a problem with someone at work" is also a non-specific diagnosis that needs further clarification. Is the other person lacking in social skills or stressed out for personal reasons and frequently acting prickly toward everyone? That might involve some counseling with their supervisor.

Is your manager often joking inappropriately about your race, religion or ethnic background? HR needs to inform them that they could be fired and charged with workplace harassment if their behavior doesn't change immediately.

Is your co-worker or boss taking credit for your ideas, denying you job perks that you're entitled to, threatening a poor evaluation if you don't pick up a lot of extra shifts, and lying about you to others on a regular basis? This could be a case of bullying.

An incorrect or incomplete diagnosis greatly lessens the chances of finding the proper solution. Typical conflict resolution techniques don't work with bullies and they may make the situation worse. So how do you decide if you're dealing with a bully?

Before we define bullying, let's take a closer look at what doesn't qualify.

What it isn't

Workplace bullying isn't personality conflict. It isn't disagreement. As mentioned above (and in a previous article), it isn't being witchy, boorish or rude-a boss or a co-worker may be disagreeable but that characteristic alone does not a bully make.

Although bullying is a particularly nasty kind of torment, it frequently operates outside the legal definition of workplace harassment, which is unwelcome speech or conduct directed toward members of a legally protected class (those of a particular race, sex, religion, ethnicity, age, etc.).

Workplace bullying is an equal opportunity offender that tends to fly under the radar. But even though it can be more challenging to identify and eliminate than other forms of abuse, it's such a serious and debilitating problem that seventeen states are currently looking to address it through legislation, and others are likely to follow.

So what is the definition?

According to the Workplace Bullying Institute (WBI): " . . . mistreatment severe enough to compromise a targeted worker's health, jeopardize [his or her] job and career, and strain relationships with friends and family. It is a laser-focused, systematic campaign of interpersonal destruction. It has nothing to do with work itself. It is driven by the bully's personal agenda and actually prevents work from getting done. It begins with one person singling out the target. Before long, the bully easily and swiftly recruits others to gang up on the target, which increases the sense of isolation."

"The workplace bully abuses power, brings misery to his/her target and endeavors to steal the target's self-confidence," says Ray Williams in Psychology Today. "Bullies often involve others, using many tactics such as blaming for errors, unreasonable work demands, insults, putdowns, stealing credit, threatening job loss, and discounting accomplishments."

In Time magazine, attorney Adam Cohen says that, "Recent brain-scan research has shown that bullies are wired differently. When they see a victim in pain, it triggers parts of their brain associated with pleasure."

This "pleasure" may stem from the bully's perception that they have successfully defended their turf rather than from a true sadistic streak, but the inner workings matter little to their victims.

On his website, kickbully.com, Dave Chapman says, " . . . the workplace bully has self-serving goals with a complete lack of respect or caring for others, who he never considers as equals. And among these moral and intellectual inferiors, he feels free to use any means necessary to gain compliance."

Clearly, bullies mean business. Except that they disrupt business, provoke stress-related illness in their subordinates or co-workers, and create an atmosphere that imperils safety, sanity and productivity.

Read...

Bullying: The Other "B" Word
How To Spot a Workplace Bully, Part Two