How personal do personal statements get...

[TexTart]

When I was 18, I left home and got a job working as a caregiver and I lived in my patient's home. I gave bed baths, provided meds, and assisted with ADLs for 2.5 years. Someone came in for me while I was in class, otherwise I did this round the clock while paying my way through my associates degree.

I worked in several non-nursing helping capacities later on (alternative medicine and psych). Now I'm preparing to apply to PMHNP programs. The main issue that kept me away from nursing was that my mom and sister were both nurses, hated it, constantly brought home tales of woe and became very bitter, overworked people until they left the profession. I didn't even think of it as an option until I learned about the PMHNP role working with one at 28.

Because I'm looking at direct entry, the prompts advise writing a personal statement that illustrates how I began to be interested in this field and why nursing now and honestly..........

here goes....

Straight out of caregiving, I worked in a sex store. Yes, many of my customers laughed too. Anything member shaped is funny. But the reality is, most of them needed instruction, help problem solving, and someone to confide in. SO many were uninformed or got caught up in stigma and what they learned in Mediaography and it was seriously impacting their relationships. For four years I aided people with very personal concerns. I often learned more about people than I really wanted to know LOL but I loved being a knowledgeable authority, and being trusted to help them work through very sensitive concerns that they wouldn't bring to their closest friends.

Someone suggested I be sure to include the sex store experience because it would stand out. But I'm concerned it would stand out in a frivolous way compared to my caregiving experience. Also, I'm not sure if I should include the family influences on my choice to be a nurse, or not, as it were. Being a PMHNP and an ER nurse (my family members) are very different roles with similarities in early education and I'd like to demonstrate that I know that.

Thoughts?

[Whispera, MSN, RN]

Are you in nursing school now? Your profile says pre-nursing. You are thinking you can go directly into a PMHNP program now, or when?

I don't have a problem with you including your experience in a sex store in your essay. I'm not sure it adds anything to convince the reader that you're a good candidate for a PMHNP program, however. You haven't made it clear how that experience encouraged you to seek the PMHNP degree. Including how this experience helped you want to be. PMHNP could be helpful.

The only thing I see that links to a reason for becoming a PMHNP is working with one. That needs to have more details too.

Avoid the reasons why you didn't do something, and focus on why you DID. Avoid humorous member remarks, and don't use LOL in your essay. These things make your essay sound unprofessional.

[Jules A, MSN]

I like the first paragraph except where you add the info about leaving home at 18, it is unnecessary and diverted my attention from what sounded like a positive caregiver experience to wondering why you left home at 18. Personally I would not include the sex store information especially if you portray that you were an "expert" without explaining what training you received to make you an "expert".

Maybe its just me but when they say write a personal statement I don't take it literally and keep the personal details to a polite, goal directed minimum. I think good judgement and insight are more important than getting too personal.

[Barnstormin' PMHNP]

If you aren't sure how your sex store experience will be received by the reviewing faculty leave it out. I can't imagine any faculty member of mine thinking your experience is a positive, even though it was for you.

Think professionalism and your own strengths and failings. I googled personal statements when I was preparing mine and I saw many good examples that helped me figure out how to frame my own statement.

The first thing I thought of when you said someone told you to put in your experience was that they are competing with you for a spot, have a grudge against you, or are not in a professional role.....just my 2 cents....

Good Luck!

[TexTart]

Thank you for your opinion.. but I feel compelled to add that my post was not to be regarded as an example of what my essay would look like. It's informal correspondence. Casual, like a conversation. My apologies for not including APA formatted citations.

I have a bachelors in psych and would like a larger scope of practice within this field, having worked as a case worker and more or less did exactly what I did in the sex store: what problem do you have? These are options that could address this problem. Which would you choose? Repeat until an acceptable level of function is reached. I have no question about including that information, it's relevant and speaks to my experience, but working with an NP during intake was mostly observation and I feel there's little I can offer in the way of personal development by just parroting what I saw. I am open to correction on that, if you have another view.

Thanks again.

[TexTart]

This is just background information guys. Not an intro to my essay. Although, since we're on the topic, both my parents were addicts and I left home because of that, also having not been educated since the age of 12 due to the lifestyle we lived...

I did not drop out of high school due to whatever most people might imagine when they notice I did not get a diploma. It also fuels me to work with addicts now, which I have done, and received a five figure grant for doing research on.

But if I'm reading you guys right that's probably too personal and not very professional -- that's what I'm asking here, nothing more or less, not a critique on my wording or whatever. Just that some of the information would be frowned upon and not necessarily as relevant as I view it. Thanks for the input!!!

[Jules A, MSN]

I'm not sure if you meant it this way but both your responses sounded rather condescending and defensive. "APA formatted citations", really? So you got a five figure grant, ok.

If you are so sure something like your self appointed sex ed experience is relevant have at it. I think your boundaries seem a bit askew and trust me that will raise major red flags among psych folks.

You posted here asking for comments and imo you were given thoughtful feedback. Sorry if it wasn't what you wanted to hear.

[2015]

I must be such a conservative lol...I personally I wouldn't put a sex store experience on my statement of purpose. However, I do commend you for having the guts to do it, and I hope that experience will stand out for you in a good way. Wishing you all the best.

[TexTart]

I wanted feedback on what I asked. I got it, and I am not challenging that it's something I shouldn't include, it's pretty unanimous. But I mean, if I said "y'all" when asking for advice, would you not be frustrated if someone said "don't write like you talk"? I included the other information because it's my psych experience and motivates me to do what I do. And to illustrate I am adept enough at producing scientific literature to not need extensive focus on drafting a paper, not to illustrate how I'm hot stuff or whatever you may imply.

[BuckyBadgerRN, ASN, RN]

What's that I smell? A short, grumpy creature normally known to habitate under bridges? (Or internet web boards) Why yes I do.

[Jules A, MSN]

I wanted feedback on what I asked. I got it, and I am not challenging that it's something I shouldn't include, it's pretty unanimous. But I mean, if I said "y'all" when asking for advice, would you not be frustrated if someone said "don't write like you talk"? I included the other information because it's my psych experience and motivates me to do what I do. And to illustrate I am adept enough at producing scientific literature to not need extensive focus on drafting a paper, not to illustrate how I'm hot stuff or whatever you may imply.

When you cast a net on the www you never know what is going to end up inside. I do appreciate that you seemed to take notice of the content of the replies regarding what to included or not include however to answer your question if I had gotten frustrated by the extras such as comments such as how to compose a document I would have ignored them, taken notice of what I found useful and thanked everyone for their time. I really think the people who wrote to you were trying to be genuine and helpful so no reason to be defensive just because you got the other stuff thrown in that wasn't particularly useful to you.

I continue to be amazed at the different perspectives that come to my attention which I didn't even consider when I started participating in a discussion. Many times if a particular poster irritates me I reflect on it and most often it there is something in me that is causing the strong reaction, very little to do with a stranger in cyber space. As someone who prefers things be black or white and really likes being correct all the time these lessons in self reflection have been helpful for both my personal and professional growth. You never know it also might actually help someone else who was reading this thread and that to me is the beauty of this type of a forum is about.

Best wishes

[canigraduate]

I think that requesting a personal statement is a way to weed out problem children.

Don't put anything in it that would indicate you are a problem child.

Right now, just based off of what you have written in this thread, you come across as someone who is going to have issues down the road with professional boundaries and possibly reflect poorly on the school.

So, I wouldn't necessarily include anything risqué or negative in your personal statement.

I became a nurse so I could make enough money to pay back my non-nursing student loans and so I could have a flexible schedule.

Did I write about that for the admission essay? Nope. I wrote about my one positive experience with nursing while my grandfather was in the hospital, which did not factor into my decision to become a nurse at all.

Look at the program's website and try to figure out the values they want to portray. Model your personal statement after that and you will have no trouble getting in.

Definitely don't mention the sex shop. Administrators and school officials in general are easily offended and are highly judgmental when it comes to who they will let join their ranks, especially when they are looking for exclusion criteria.